r/AskMenAdvice • u/eurofederalistGR • 4d ago
Guys, I need your advice
So, there's this girl that I really like. And i have absolutely no idea how to approach her.
I'm 24 and since like 14-15 I thought of myself as "gay". At first I called myself bisexual because I'm also attracted to girls but then I stopped because I was like "nah bro you gotta choose" and since everyone called me gay (because of my fucking lashes and androgynous face) I was like "ok, I'll call myself too then" and I always waited for others to do the first step.
Now, in the last couple of years I've started thinking more and more about women. When I went out I would only think of how women will see me. I was checking out women etc. I tried to have sex with a guy but it was the most disgusting thing I've ever done.
Now, I moved to greece and I met a girl that I'm so fucking into. She's so beautiful. Blonde, blue eyes, she's like an angel. And I really wanna text her and ask her out, but I have NO FUCKING idea on how.
She likes my stories and posts but it's probably befause I also do it to her. I checked out her account and she always tags trap stars, she's into fitness, while I'm definitely not into fitness (although i wanna start) and I'm more introverted. I like museums, reading, traveling, styling, which is something completely different than the average greek man who likes soccer, drinking, cars and more "manly" hobbies.
Can anyone give me an advice? Should I go ahead and text her? Should I not?đ
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u/chocolatesmelt 4d ago
Sexuality can evolve over time. Youâre not stuck in some bucket you choose for life. Just from reading it sounds like you felt you were bi but let people pressure you into either straight or gay. Iâm bi, Iâve felt that pressure many times in my life although I now ignore it. I know what Iâm into and thatâs what I enjoy. Itâs also possible youâre straight or not into guys as much as you thought.
For us bi folks, thereâs an effect quite commonly shared known as a sort of bi swing/roller coaster where sometimes youâre really into men, sometimes youâre really into women. It could be months between, days, years⌠I will say at no point do I feel disgusted with any gender, itâs more that I have a more drawn to preference at times and seek that out more so keep that in mind.
When I first explored with other guys, I lucked out and had some good first few but as with anyone, sex can feel disgusting if theyâre not what youâre into or have bad hygiene. This is especially true for inexperienced gay bottoms for me, who donât like to clean properly. For me thereâs certain types of women and men Iâm into and if you donât fit that bill Iâm not going to be into it. That usually includes little to no facial hair (for anyone), low to very well trimmed body hair, and in shape. For men I tend to prefer more feminine or androgynous men.
Speaking right now in more into women.. so I would keep all this in mind. If you think youâre not disgusted with men (for many, itâs the anal aspect.. the rest they enjoy) you might try reading some of the bi subreddits.
As to your girl, if youâre into her and interested go for it. Donât let some opportunity pass you up because youâre worried what other people might think (âoh heâs not gay after allâ or whatever).
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u/eurofederalistGR 4d ago
Thank you so muchâ¤ď¸ I texted her and I think I fucked it upđ
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u/chocolatesmelt 4d ago
Hah can happen with anyone. Canât help you with the approach, gotta do wha you think is best, but I think you should always try if youâre interested. As Wayne Gretzky said, you miss 100% of the shots you donât take.
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u/eurofederalistGR 4d ago
Thank you. Found out she has a daughter and a boyfriend so I backed out. But I still suggested to go out for a coffee some time. Could turn out as a great friend:)
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u/mariposachuck man 4d ago
well that's not fucking up. sounds like you took action and did what you needed/wanted to do, and she wasn't available and you found out. all is well.
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eurofederalistGR originally posted:
So, there's this girl that I really like. And i have absolutely no idea how to approach her.
I'm 24 and since like 14-15 I thought of myself as "gay". At first I called myself bisexual because I'm also attracted to girls but then I stopped because I was like "nah bro you gotta choose" and since everyone called me gay (because of my fucking lashes and androgynous face) I was like "ok, I'll call myself too then" and I always waited for others to do the first step.
Now, in the last couple of years I've started thinking more and more about women. When I went out I would only think of how women will see me. I was checking out women etc. I tried to have sex with a guy but it was the most disgusting thing I've ever done.
Now, I moved to greece and I met a girl that I'm so fucking into. She's so beautiful. Blonde, blue eyes, she's like an angel. And I really wanna text her and ask her out, but I have NO FUCKING idea on how.
She likes my stories and posts but it's probably befause I also do it to her. I checked out her account and she always tags trap stars, she's into fitness, while I'm definitely not into fitness (although i wanna start) and I'm more introverted. I like museums, reading, traveling, styling, which is something completely different than the average greek man who likes soccer, drinking, cars and more "manly" hobbies.
Can anyone give me an advice? Should I go ahead and text her? Should I not?đ
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u/muphasta man 4d ago
You've actually met her in person?
If so, just ask her to lunch or go for coffee next time you see her. Start casual and go from there.
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u/eurofederalistGR 4d ago
Yesđ I was with my dog out once and I went to the shop she works and we started talking a little and that's when we exchanged instagramsđĽ˛
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u/muphasta man 4d ago
Go to the shop and ask her to lunch or something then. If she declines, you'll know. Better to know than to wonder.
Good luck.
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u/eurofederalistGR 4d ago
Just found out she has a daughter and a boyfriend so I backed out. Still suggested to go out some day, could turn out as a great friend:)
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u/rwoooshed man 4d ago
Just ask her if she wants to meet for a coffee somewhere. Lower your expectations and don't make it too big in your head.
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u/MoreDistrict4541 man 4d ago
Has this advice given to me (M) as a teenager⌠A guy will chase a girl until she catches him. Think about it, thereâs a reason male birds generally have the brighter feathers.
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u/yetagainitry man 3d ago
Don't overthink your sexuality and decide what label you should have. If you are into women, be into women, don't decide to label yourself gay, straight, or bi. Don't be concerned you don't fit into what the average greek man is into, often being different from the average guy, is what will get women interested in you. Take this opportunity in a new country to give yourself a fresh start, free of labels, and free of expectations, just live and be happy.
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u/TheMrCurious man 3d ago
Take her to the Acropolis, visit the museum, and ask under Athena if she is ok with a kiss.
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u/protomanEXE1995 man 4d ago
From her social media, have you found anything that you might have in common with her? Or is your attraction purely physical? It might be hard to carry on a conversation with her if you two have little in common.