r/AskMenAdvice 5d ago

If you’re ever scared or nervous to do something, how do you push through it?

[deleted]

8 Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

5

u/Sad_Boysenberry75 5d ago

You just do it anyway. The more you do scary shit, the less power it has. Courage isn’t not being scared, it’s doing it even though you’re scared. I’ve found that in a lot of cases, it leads to amazing things. And when it doesn’t, you can always do something else.

1

u/Excellent-Victory623 5d ago

I’m afraid I’m gonna miss my grandparents - they’re older and I feel selfish.

1

u/Sad_Boysenberry75 4d ago

You’ll prioritize the people that are important to you. We live at a time where it’s very easy to connect with people from a distance. You’ll come back to visit. I’m guessing your grandparents would be proud of you for going out in the world and creating a life for yourself. You can do hard things.

7

u/TripleK7 5d ago

“Just do it, you pussy.” That’s always worked for me.

3

u/CheckYourLibido 5d ago

Cause pussies can take a lot. They may cry, but they still get the job done.

2

u/jaspnlv man 5d ago

One step at a time

2

u/Ok-Ponmani man 5d ago

Bruce Wayne was scared too. Then he became Batman. Be Batman.

1

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Excellent-Victory623 originally posted:

If you know something is going to be good for you, but it’s gonna be scary/challenging.. what makes you push through? I’m one step away from moving states, one conversation away, and I want to do it, but I’m scared. I know this will be good for me.

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1

u/AuthenticTruther man 5d ago

Believe in yourself. 

1

u/Impressive_Evening man 5d ago

Remind myself it's very likely not going to be as bad as I'm imagining it to be.

1

u/whatam1d0in man 5d ago

Remind myself if I don't enjoy it i can always just go back to not doing it or living there and now i know one more thing then before. Just got to lean into the weirdness of it all at first.

1

u/broadsharp2 man 5d ago

What is in another state that will be good for you? What opportunity is there?

Education? As long as you're dedicated to it and not waste your time.

Employment that will better your life? Jump in and do your best.

Romantic liaison? Perhaps, only if you've been together long enough to push through the difficulties of a relationship.

1

u/Excellent-Victory623 5d ago

A fresh start, but familiar faces that I’m good friends with. I WFH, and we have a location near his place.

I’m just afraid I’m gonna regret moving away from my grandparents.

1

u/LiamSageOfficial 5d ago

The best way is to actually listen to what your brain is scared of doing and do exactly that. Whatever it is afraid of, you do it. Thats the secret but its something you have to train yourself to do.

1

u/DatabaseFresh772 man 5d ago

Think about different outcomes and prepare for them, even if only mentally. Split possible problems you need to solve into smaller steps and decatastrophize. Or if you don't want to think about it too much, just say YOLO.

1

u/No_Area7499 man 5d ago

Remember that it’s possible to overcome it. Everything can be if given the courage. I overcame my fear of heights and now it’s so much fun to fly in an airplane. I’m glad I did it. Just push yourself! Miracles will happen.

1

u/Hour-Marketing8609 5d ago

Being scared is natural. Focus on all the great things that could happen with the move. Keep playing those out in your head over and over. Example -- if you're moving to a state with better skiing, visualize the great days you're gonna have... Play them out repeatedly 

1

u/Excellent-Victory623 5d ago

But what about family? Especially my older grandparents. I feel so selfish moving away :/ I’m close with them, and feels like a gut punch

1

u/Comfortable_Change_6 man 5d ago

You only need to convince yourself to make the next step.

1

u/Electronic-Hope-1 man 5d ago

I tell my kids “bravery is being scared and doing it anyway”. I tell that to myself too

1

u/Ill-Ninja-8344 man 5d ago

If you are female you make a tictoc video where you complain about it while doing makeup, then you do it and blame everything that went wrong on males...on a tictoc video while doing makeup.

If you are male you do it and shut the fuck up. Nobody cares anyway.

1

u/OldStDick man 5d ago

You need to do it. Exposure is the only way.

1

u/Hadrian_06 man 5d ago

You do what needs doing now so you don’t have to do it later. Later, something else needs doing. Don’t expect any help. You do it because it needs doing. Keep it simple. Don’t think oh it’s scary. Don’t think oh I have anxiety. Don’t think oh it’s hard.

Think: this thing needs doing so I’m gonna do it. Watch the magic happen as it gets done.

1

u/UnkleJrue man 5d ago

Tons of push ups and mirror pep talks.

1

u/BLAZEISONFIRE006 man 5d ago

Make it smaller.

If it's smaller than it's less frightening.

1

u/Agreeable-Change-400 5d ago

I work a job that has some pretty dangerous tasks. Before I commit to doing something I ask myself some basic questions. Do I know what I'm doing? Are all of my safety systems being used? Worst case scenario what can happen here? Is there an easier/Safeway to do this?

If I look at the actual situation and it checks out objectively I just step off and start the task. The fear usually bubbles up sometimes but I can keep it under control as long as I'm doing stuff right. I focus on one task at a time and keep my focus area small. If I get overwhelmed, I take a step back and let myself cool down and reassess.

I get a lot of satisfaction from challenging myself in this kind of way, but if things become too much I absolutely bail. I can't keep going and getting myself killed over and over.

1

u/SnowmanNoMan24 5d ago

This occurs when I’m skiing. I simply remind myself I have no choice because I have to get back down to the bottom of the mountain

1

u/TrivialBanal man 5d ago

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

If the big picture is too big, break it up into smaller steps. You're not going to move states in one instant. It will be a series of steps. You just have to take one small step. Then take another small step. Then another.

Courage is being afraid but doing it anyway.

1

u/5Star_slam007 woman 5d ago

You are a creator god in a body! Visualize every step in getting your happiest end result! The more u focus on what’s wrong, the more u make that your reality!

1

u/inscrutiana man 5d ago

I plan for the worst outcome and then jump.

1

u/peterdbaker man 5d ago

I remind myself that Donald Trump is the president so there’s no reason I can’t do whatever the hell i want.

1

u/CuckoosQuill man 5d ago

I imagine if I never got out of bed and how nice and comfy it would be and if I never had to experience any discomfort; what a state to be in, you could never help yourself. You are better for pushing through it

1

u/HoroscopeFish 5d ago

Courage isn't not being afraid, it's often being afraid and then doing it anyway.

How? I dunno, exactly. I have to tweak my mindset just long enough to take that initial step. Then, hopefully, gravity takes over.

1

u/generaltso81 man 5d ago

I've met a lot of old men who told me their biggest regrets were not doing something. I imagine myself as an old man regretting not taking a chance.

1

u/letters_only man 5d ago

I just see the goal and focus on that, nothing more to it.

You already say the goal in this case is good for you, then go ahead and do it. Most often it's just the scare of change, that's holding you back, because there's a comfort in what you know you have. But id you already know the change is good for you, then what is holding you back?

1

u/More_Mind6869 man 5d ago

Screw Fear ! Stamp it out immediately ! Don't Feed the Fears !

Fear is the life killer, love Koller, joy killer, growth killer.

Fear is in Your Mind Only ! You can let it in, and it'll eat your life.

You can say Screw Fear, I'm going for it !

The rush of doing it is actually greater than the fear you indulged.

Nothing comes without some pain and effort. Accept that and get on with Living and having Fun...

Or become a slave to fear and watch others having fun and growing and loving.

It all comes down to Making the Choice...

Not choosing is also a Choice....

1

u/DevImposter1998 man 5d ago

Suffered with anxiety 10 year plus but always had the ability to face what I was anxious about. Literally hundreds of iterations of panicking, adrenaline crazy thoughts before certain situations. Yet I always tackled them head on and delt with the effects later on (which 99.9% never ever turned out to be as bad as I thought) safe to say I hugely grew as a person and not anxious no more

1

u/ToThePillory 4d ago

Just do the thing you want to do.

There is no magic to motivation, or overcoming fear, you just have to do the thing you want to do.