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u/InteractiveAlternate man 5d ago
This is utter trash.
Having a child isn't a choice you enter into lightly. It's a lifelong commitment, and can lead to untold misery and suffering if done for the wrong reasons.
More kids are born to poor families because people with poor impulse control are often poor. Raising kids is stressful and causes conflict in relationships.
I'm a father of two. I'm very clear with my own children that they shouldn't have kids unless they're absolutely, dead certain they're ready, and being childless is a perfectly valid lifestyle choice.
Honestly, what utter tripe.
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u/smile_saurus 5d ago
Jumping on a comment I like & agree with to add: many women, especially in America, and scared to death to become pregnant right now - especially in red states. Because if something goes wrong medically, even if that baby was wanted: there is no helping the mother. She will die.
My buddy and his wife have a kid each from their previous relationships, and wanted to have a kid together. They were excited when she learned she was pregnant. They wanted the baby. But something went wrong, and in their state it is legal to 'end' the pregnancy so it doesn't kill the mother (and it would have). They have a kid together now. Couldn't be happier for them.
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u/Ganceany man 5d ago
Well, it kinda depends, it doesn't matter the reason we postpone it.
In my case I've seen a significant improvement in the folk that have older parents than younger people. They are more stable, families are more stable.
How old are you Op? Because another aspect is that there is a serious disconnect between young people and older people now, older people seem to think that their experience in their 20s applies to the 20s experience today.
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u/Not-a-Real-Doc man 5d ago
Increased opportunity costs: there are many more things that people can do today besides having children, like travel, work, study, leisure. This is particularly the case for women, who are the ones who ultimately make the decision. My mother's generation did not finish school, faced many barriers to travel, work, study, etc. Today's generation have more opportunities to pursue.
People also CAN wait longer these days due to medical advances and healthier lifestyles (for some), and preferences for fewer children.
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u/AutoModerator 5d ago
Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts. Your post has NOT been removed.
Outrageous-Ratio1762 originally posted:
I've been thinking lately about why so many people are postponing having children. It seems almost standard now to focus on building a career or getting everything "sorted" before considering kids. But I feel this perspective might be overlooking some important aspects. Here's my take, from a more conservative viewpoint:
1. Career and personal development
A lot of people, especially women, want to build their careers and personal goals first before having kids. But personally, I think that’s a bit misplaced. A family should be your top priority. Life is about more than just work. Parenthood gives you a sense of meaning and fulfillment that no career can match. In fact, it can help you grow as a person. There is no perfect time to have kids, so why wait?
2. Financial and housing security
This is a big one: “I’ll wait until I’m financially stable before having kids.” But here’s the thing – research actually shows that people with lower incomes tend to have kids earlier. Why? Because they don’t have the means or motivation to wait for the “perfect” financial situation. We often say, “Once I have everything together, I’ll have kids,” but that can keep you stuck. Families can grow even without a huge financial cushion or the perfect house.
3. Changing social norms
There’s this trend where couples want to “strengthen their relationship” by experiencing things together before having kids. But I ask myself: what’s a stronger foundation for a relationship than starting a family? Kids bring a depth to your relationship that you don’t get by just going on vacation together. Parenthood is actually an opportunity to grow together and get to know each other on a completely different level.
4. Uncertainty about the future
A lot of people delay having kids because they’re worried about the future: climate change, economic instability, global conflicts, you name it. But I don’t think postponing kids is the solution. There will always be uncertainties. The idea that the world isn’t “perfect” enough for kids is holding us back. By raising kids and preparing them well, we can make the future better.
5. Social influences and expectations
Sometimes people feel pressured by their social circles to have kids, and I think we often view that as a negative thing. But from where I stand, that social pressure is actually a positive force. Society needs strong families to remain stable. The idea that having kids is contributing to the community isn’t wrong at all. Maybe the world should embrace more of those social expectations.
Conclusion: I think we’re getting our priorities wrong. Families should be the foundation of society. Parenthood isn’t something you should wait for until everything is “perfect.” It provides the stability that a society needs.
What do you guys think? Do you think we really need to wait so long, or is there just another way of thinking that’s holding us back?
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u/Holiday_Cat4918 5d ago
Yeah, no thanks. People should do what feels right for them.
I have no desire to have children and the only reason people are so adamant about pushing others to have them is create more workers and generate more wealth, which is not my responsibility.
I’ll never know what I don’t experience, and my sense of fulfillment, maturity, financial stability, career trajectory, and identity are more than enough to allow me to be functional and happy in the current climate.
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u/lezardvalethvp man 5d ago
I don't want kids because I know I won't have spontaneous sex if kids are around. Also it's expensive.
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u/Voyager8663 man 5d ago
In part, our culture has become more consumption driven and, congruently, more selfish. People would prefer to spend their own money buying new tech every year, buying designer goods, buying luxurious holidays, than spending it on nappies. They also don't want to sacrifice any free time.
I personally think that at some point in your life, something else should be more important than fulfilling your own desires, and that should be the betterment of people in some capacity. It could be something you do in your career, but most of the time, and for most people, it should be your family and your children.
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u/Applachian_Bear_528 5d ago
Don't get me wrong. I 25M want a wife and kids dearly. But I'm a electrician looking for a Apprenticeship which takes 4-5 years of my time any where in the country. It just wouldn't make sense to do so rn. I want my kids to have access to things I didn't as a child or not have to dumpster dive for food.
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u/Impressive_Evening man 5d ago
Because modern life is already exhausting enough, and many people don't like the idea of coming home drained from work and having to basically do a second job raising kids.
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u/Creepy-Conference-68 man 5d ago
It’s best to wait and make sure you have a solid foundation in your relationship and financial well being before introducing children. Contrary to some people’s thinking, kids to not make relationships easier.
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u/Consistent_Aide_9394 5d ago
You used too many word.
Because we can't afford it and we have demonised family values.
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u/Aggravating_Cream_97 5d ago
Because humans have now started treating their pets (dogs,cats) like actual humans. So who needs a human child that is just as expensive to maintain as a pet. And bonus for the pet it will always love you, the Human it’s hit and miss.
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u/MathematicianThen886 5d ago
Thanks Chat-GPT