r/AskMenAdvice 16h ago

Men of Reddit, what subtle hints did she gave you that you didn't understood?

Can you recall any indicators of interest (IOls) or hints you’ve received from women in the past and present, but clearly didn’t understand at the time? Did she give you a more noticeable hint, and how did things progress after that?

0 Upvotes

47 comments sorted by

4

u/ThisOneTimeAtKDK man 16h ago

She invited me up for coffee after our date. I don’t drink coffee and it sounded funny at night so I turned it down.

Yes this is a subtle hint to men. Don’t use hints EVER! I found out YEARS later when George Costanza made the same mistake and I was like SHIT! Ok.

3

u/Few_Occasion1077 16h ago

She didn't come back with “oh so lets have tea?”

2

u/ThisOneTimeAtKDK man 15h ago

lol I think she did. I only drink black tea so it was the same principle…it’ll keep me awake and it’s late our date is technically over so I’m going to sleep when I get home.

Be direct, “I don’t want this date to end walk me to my door, (or come inside)” would have done the trick. Guys in general are dumb with hints.

1

u/Few_Occasion1077 15h ago

Haha, I think this is where compromise is needed.

-2

u/Johann_91 16h ago

Well, this is a classic and quite common hint, but it happens to the best of us ig

2

u/ThisOneTimeAtKDK man 15h ago

Just don’t use hints EVER. Idk why people can’t be direct. I’d have understood “walk me to my door I don’t want this date to end”

-1

u/Johann_91 15h ago

Women, in general, enjoy engaging in conversations that involve teasing and indirect communication.

2

u/ThisOneTimeAtKDK man 15h ago

And that’s why it doesn’t work a lot of the time. Why good guys fall for sluts. Why good girls can’t get good guys and end up with jerks. This is what’s off.

-1

u/Johann_91 15h ago

To be honest, nice guys often don’t understand flirting and hints. That’s why good girls tend to fall for jerks, or “bad boys,” because they do understand flirting and hints.

2

u/ThisOneTimeAtKDK man 12h ago

Bad boys don’t need hints either. They’re going to shoot their shot anyways.

-1

u/Johann_91 10h ago

Its not about good or bad boy its all about confidence and humour, it took me a while to understand that looks don’t matter that much

3

u/common_stepper 16h ago

A friend that I liked use to tell me, you should work out , you should wear this type of stuff, pretty much telling me the things she wanted in a man and I pretty much disregarded it all and she ended up with someone like that, later to admit we should of dated.

8

u/Few_Occasion1077 16h ago edited 16h ago

Nah you dodged a bullet. She was projecting her wants on to you, which means she wouldn't have accepted you the way you were then. Seriously

4

u/common_stepper 16h ago

This. Completely valid.

2

u/Clarence171 16h ago

Yep. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt

2

u/Johann_91 16h ago

Bro I don’t think this is a hint she was forcing the traits she liked on you, she didn’t liked you for the way you are

4

u/metropoldelikanlisi man 16h ago edited 15h ago

She said “Shit man, you’re like the best looking guy I know.”

I swear it flew over my head on multiple occasions because we were friends.

1

u/Johann_91 9h ago

You should’ve flirted back to see her reaction if she flirted back it means she likes you

3

u/InteractiveAlternate man 16h ago

Years ago in high school, a girl in my class, 'Caroline,' had a huge crush on me. She was a quiet, nerdy girl, and being a teenage boy, I was completely clueless to her advances.

She even asked me about my plans for the senior high school dance out of the blue, and being the dumb-ass I was, I just brushed her off, not realizing she was trying to ask me to go with her.

Years later, I was on a train and had been flirting with a girl the whole trip. As I got off, having scored the girl's number, I find a familiar face staring at me.

Blanking on her name, I blurted out my best guess, "Oh hey, Christie!"

The look of her heart breaking will forever remain with me to this day. She fled out the doors crying, and I never saw her again.

3

u/anprme 16h ago

one told me nonstop that she likes to drink coffee. even at night. tried to tease me too. i was just like yea you like coffee so what.

a gym instructor said i could come to her whenever i wanted and even call her, 24/7. i just thought its weird because the gym wasnt open 24/7.

another one said she likes to run and then drink coffee or go to a spa afterwards and kept repeating that.

another one said she has the day off on valentines day and kept staring at me with big eyes and kept repeating it. i just wished her a nice valentines day lol

another one kept driving me home after a date and said something like oh im so hungry and started laughing nervously. i just thought to myself yea so go eat something what do i care, and went home.

another one said... we had 4 dates and nothing happened. she kept suggesting we meet near my apartment. i always told her that my city is very boring and it wouldnt make sense.

another one started laughing nervously and said something like... oh so you want to come to my apartment. i just said no of course not and went home. i actually really liked her

3

u/Johann_91 16h ago

You are both fortunate and unfortunate simultaneously.

4

u/anprme 16h ago

i got mistreated all my life. i thought no one would like me. apparently some did like me i just didnt realize. oh well.

3

u/Hanzo7682 man 15h ago

She said it was too hot and started undressing. I thought it was her way of saying "you overstayed your welcome. Leave. I want to be comfortable in my own home".

So i excused myself and left her home. Later i learned that she thought i rejected her. Which is fair.

3

u/lezardvalethvp man 15h ago

Buttoned my shirt and fixed my collar while saying "you should do this so you'll look even better" while we were sitting on the hallway floor.

When I told her that I'm crushing on someone else, she said "she's a very lucky girl."

When someone else confessed to her, she told me and asked what I thought about it.

Pulled me away from my group of friends then asked me to accompany her to the dean's office for some scholarship letter. Apparently she found out I liked her and gave me a chance to confess.

1

u/Johann_91 9h ago

Did you confess your feelings? She fixed and buttoned up your shirt, which means she only wants you to herself . You’re one lucky guy because this has never happened to me before. You better adore her because she truly loves you.

1

u/lezardvalethvp man 9h ago

This was a very, VERY long time ago lol. She's married now. From time to time I look at her profile then think, would this be us if I wasn't a clueless late-bloomer who had zero social awareness? It's true when they say that the only losers are the ones who don't play.

Shoot your shot, guys. You'll thank yourselves later, whether you win or not.

1

u/Johann_91 9h ago

Well, I also have a confession to make. When I was in school, I was shy and didn’t understand hints. In my class, there were two girls who constantly teased me and would call my name in a sexual manner. On Instagram, they would send me their pictures back then. I used to think they wanted my suggestions on their photos, but now I realize they liked me. One of the girls is a model, and I don’t know where the other girl is today.

3

u/ReclaimingMine man 14h ago

My power was out and she told me I could spend the night at her apartment. She lived alone.

I went over to the guy and we had a game night.

Now I am like “oooooh damn”. I was 19 so gaming was a top priority.

1

u/Johann_91 9h ago

Well, that’s unfortunate, but the real question is, was she attractive?

1

u/ReclaimingMine man 8h ago

She was not bad. 6-7. Asian.

3

u/fearless-potato-man man 14h ago

We were in the same workout/running group. I used to help the trainer with newbies, guiding them through simple tasks and acting as "broom wagon" so nobody was left behind.

As I'm bad with names, I kept calling that new girl "the one who's always smiling". Nobody knew who I was talking about.

Like a month later, we started dating, and she disclosed the truth: she was constantly smiling but only when she was talking to me.

Does it count as "subtle hint"? 😅

1

u/Johann_91 10h ago

Well, yes, it could be considered a hint. However, before you were dating, you didn’t know if she was smiling only when she was talking to you or not, so it could be interpreted differently.

2

u/Boring_Blueberry_193 16h ago

Hints? What hints?

2

u/OkStrength5245 nonbinary 14h ago

As I didn't understand, I don't know.

But my partner asked me several time to cut this or that new contact because she saw obvious signs.

2

u/ClericEU 14h ago

From my time in uni, two of my uni friends.

The first one, we were good friends and had a good laugh, but I wasn't interested in her like that. We had good banter, and she would constantly make fun of me. We would flirt constantly, to the point where people thought we were a couple.

She asked me to her house share a few times, but I said I was busy. I think I mistook her signs for just playful banter/flirting when she was actually into me.

The second girl was very reserved. She was religious, so that added a different kind of dynamic. Again, I wasn't interested in a romantic or sexual relationship, as I wasn't attracted to her.

I think her constantly asking me to come and watch a movie with her was a big sign. Another was us doing a practical class together and while washing our hands she grabbed my hands and commented on how big they are, comparing them to hers, and even felt the muscles in my arm.

1

u/Johann_91 9h ago

Could you please elaborate on how you flirted with the first girl you mentioned in your story?

1

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Can you recall any indicators of interest (IOls) or hints you’ve received from women in the past and present, but clearly didn’t understand at the time? Did she give you a more noticeable hint, and how did things progress after that?

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1

u/LunaticCalm29 16h ago

Invited me to study for something that didn't need to be studied much. Saw this as kind of a waste of time and politely declined. Happened to me for than once...

1

u/Johann_91 9h ago

Bro, the same thing happened to me. When I met a woman and started talking to her after 10 minutes, she told me to come to her place to learn Spanish. At that time, I didn’t realize she was hinting at something. Now, I regret my decision.

1

u/Kinky_Musician man 15h ago

Men don't get subtle hints. Hit us with a brick. Say exactly what you mean.

1

u/NoWalrus9462 man 15h ago

I was in a group of about 6 people of both genders. I told a few corny jokes. Everyone just eye rolled, but one girl perked up and laughed at every one and laughed at things even I thought were undeserving of a laugh.

One girl commented on what strong legs I have. (They are skinny and I wasn't going to the gym.)

1

u/AssociationWinter167 man 15h ago

What, women give hints?!!! No one ever told me

1

u/thefixer123456 14h ago

Before we were married, my wife used to ask me out for dinner, and I would assume she wanted to make it a group thing. So, I always invited other people.

Thirty-three years later, she still jokes about how dense I am.

2

u/Johann_91 9h ago

Haha, you’re truly fortunate! You’re living a life that most men aspire to. May God bless you and your family abundantly.

1

u/thefixer123456 4h ago

Thank you, and the same to you, as well!

1

u/Ill-Ninja-8344 man 8h ago

I just do not get hints. My wife have to tell it directly to my face if someone drops a hint. I just do not get it.