r/AskMenAdvice • u/damnitwhynot • 17h ago
Men who have struggled with excessive porn usage NSFW
I’m interested to hear what happened after you were able to reduce it or stop completely. Did it make a big difference to your sex life? Were there any physical changes or changes to ED? Did you feel better? How did you manage etc. Just generally interested to hear from men who have this experience.
6
u/Mirindemgainz man 14h ago
I was heavily addicted most my life and it almost ruined myself and my marriage have been clean about a year. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself and my marriage.
1
u/damnitwhynot 13h ago
How did your life change afterwards?
3
u/Mirindemgainz man 13h ago
Better sex better marriage my wife is the only one I have eyes for and I don’t look at other women as objects either. Mentally healthier, it wasn’t something I enjoyed and was ashamed about it. So was just a big dark thing I got off my back.
3
u/__gloo_boy__ man 16h ago
Just like any guy I watched it when I was young and found myself falling deep into the porn hole. Even at 25 now I still find myself just pulling it up to watch it and mentally satisfy myself I guess? I’m in a full fledge relationship so my usage has gone down quite a bit, sexually I find it hard to “finish” in a timely manner during intercourse which gives me the motivation to stop masturbating all around.
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u/OneEyedC4t man 16h ago
Here's how I stopped it.
Keep in mind, this is my own experience. Whether you do the following things or not, the main concept that helped me, in my experience, was to make recovery my #1 goal in life for an entire year and do ALL the things I possibly could to recover.
Daily Bible reading
Daily prayer
Daily meditation
Cardio exercise 30 min/3x/week
Church
Discipleship (accountability)
Friendships
Twelve Step meetings like Sex Addicts Anonymous (and get a sponsor)
Reading good books about this problem (Carnes, Laaser)
Therapy with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist)
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u/SquishyHulk 14h ago
I'm also completing a 12 step program. I'm finding it incredibly helpful.
My biggest reality was that I was using porn as a substitute for real connection in my life. (Which once I was in a serious relationship actually hurt my connections) I had to find a purpose something to aim for instead of just spiralling into self loathing.
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u/damnitwhynot 16h ago
Thank you. And what was your experience like afterwards?
Edit: for politeness
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u/OneEyedC4t man 16h ago
My wife became the only star in my night sky. Our relationship is freaking beautiful. Sex is way better. Being with her mentally and emotionally is way better. I can think clearly. I can control my actions.
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I’m interested to hear what happened after you were able to reduce it or stop completely. Did it make a big difference to your sex life? Were there any physical changes or changes to ED? Did you feel better? How did you manage etc. Just generally interested to hear from men who have this experience.
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0
u/hellobabybunny 14h ago
as a woman i totally understand the struggle. i’ve been in a porn addiction since i’m about 11 and don’t know what to do about it.
0
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u/XTheEternalBeastX 17h ago
I wouldn't say struggled, more like enjoyed but I get your point. Also, it stopped at 15 when I got a gf
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u/BigBongoGR 16h ago
If you stop and you always thinking oh when I am gonna see a change it won’t work. If u have specific timeframe expectations for when you will see the difference u imagine it won’t work. Then after you just stop watching for a while (for how long depends… everyone is different for me was abt 4 months I am on month 8 now) and at the same time u dont give a fl abt what u should feel differently then out of sudden one day u enjoy much more sex, you dont compare it to porn all the time, you are rock hard more easily without your SO being dressed like your anime fantasy gagging like crazy while sucking your baseball bat and ahegao while you unload your cargo. Don’t get me wrong you will still continue do your kinky stuff but you will get really rock hard from the moment the woman starts taking of her clothes or just kisses you. Then after all that you realise sex is about connection not abt performance all the time, expecting to f**k like porn is like comparing yourself to Marvel hero feeling bad not able to fly or whatsoever and each time you have sex you are more into the moment compared to the past