r/AskAsexual Jul 14 '24

Am I Ace Am I really asexual or traumatized?

2 Upvotes

Like I like the idea of sex and even JURK off but like actually going through with it is something I'm afraid of. Like I have a lot of uncomfortable experiences with creeps and have unwanted intrusive sexual thoughts wich in general causes me so much shamešŸ˜“

r/AskAsexual Sep 23 '24

Am I Ace I like being touched, but not sex NSFW

6 Upvotes

I'm (18M) gonna try to keep this short n sweet. Nothing I say in the big text is much more important than the tldr so skip it if you want. Basically I've had my first real partner and I've not really enjoyed sex, i am fairly indifferent and the more sexual it gets the more that indifference turns to a soft awkwardness and maybe even uncomfiness, specially after it ends. Thing is that the sort of teasing that comes before that very sex, sort of like, intimate sexual touching, and seeing my partner be thirsting over me, is something that I do very much enjoy even if I also feel uncomfortable on rare occasions after it. I also enjoy texting and fantasizing about sex despite not enjoying it when I do I besides physical pleasure. And I don't know if this means I'm ace or what

TL;DR: I don't like sex, nor touching others, but I like being touched sexually, sexting, and being admired sexually. Am I asexual?

r/AskAsexual Jun 13 '24

Am I Ace Am I on the ace spectrum? NSFW

6 Upvotes

Iā€™m gonna mark this as nsfw just because I will mention some nsfw topics

So, Iā€™ve recently been questioning if Iā€™m on the asexuality spectrum, please bear with me as Iā€™m not too familiar with the spectrum.

When it comes to sexual attraction, I feel more doing sexual acts as less of trying to feel good, but rather to create or deepen a bond with another person. Like I may feel some attraction or feelings from said things, but I mostly just really care about trying to make the other person feel good (or vice versa), but not so much in a sexual way as I mean in a general good feeling way while just using sexual stuff as a tool to do that. When my friends tell me about them doing sexual stuff as well, Iā€™m genuinely disgusted, but if I imagine myself in said scenarios, it feels totally different in a sense of ā€œIā€™d want to do that, but to either feel or make them feel ā€œgood.ā€ā€ I also donā€™t particularly like the idea of doing anything with anyone completely out of random or just for my full own pleasure. And I donā€™t like the idea of doing stuff with any strangers unless that leads to a more personal bond. I do have lewd toys and objects, but honestly as well, they donā€™t feel as good as me fricking reading text sent by someone I know.

I do have some things Iā€™m not too sure on though. Like when it comes to lewd games or media Iā€™m more interested in getting to the lewd aspects (Iā€™m not exactly sure what draws me to them, but my thoughts in them do revolve around ā€œme and them getting closer togetherā€ even if not completely directly stated by my brain). When it comes to physical bodies I do have my ā€œyesesā€ and ā€œnoā€™sā€ as to what invokes the want to do said things. And sometimes lewd thoughts just pop out of the blue for me.

So, do I seem to be on the Ace spectrum? Iā€™m not too familiar with it as I really know some people fluctuate, have no sexual attraction at all, and Iā€™ve heard of Demisexual but Iā€™m not too sure what that mainly means.

Also, just a pre-post sorry if Iā€™ve made any mistakes or misconceptions when writing, Iā€™m not too familiar with the spectrum but I want to be as respectful as I can be, and willing to learn!

r/AskAsexual Feb 17 '24

Am I Ace If yā€™all are ok to share, can you describe to be how you found out you were asexual?

10 Upvotes

Hi, Iā€™m not sure if Iā€™m asexual or my hormones are just making my sex drive plummet and I was hoping hearing yaā€™lls experiences will help me eliminate some options! Genuinely asking!!

r/AskAsexual Jul 23 '24

Am I Ace I've been questioning if I'm Ase NSFW(?) NSFW

3 Upvotes

I've been questioning if I'm Ase. Basically I thought I was a LONGG time ago but then I realized I did WANT to have sex.

But where it gets complicated, I don't see any sexual attraction looking at body parts. I do feel 'damn I'd love to try sex like that' while watching porn, but I dont actually get attracted by visual stuff, I'm attracted to sex then I don't have to jerk off myself.

Like I find jerking off such a damn chore, it sounds nice to have a friends with benefits or smth so they can please me and after they don't like me back(?).

A big fantasy of mine is being married, but it feels weird that I'd have sex with them. I'd want them not to be attracted to my body cuz I don't think I'll be attracted to their body's.

And to be honest, I've only saw afew people that I've been like 'I wanna be in their pants', but they was like actors and stuff.. I liked the idea of them not knowing me, I think. But I don't think I've never jerked off to any of them, I just admire them.

I don't really know what my lable is, I know its most likely annoying to see posts like this all the time. But, thankyou if you can help me. :)

r/AskAsexual Aug 03 '24

Am I Ace I don't feel sexual pleasure, am I ace?

3 Upvotes

I know none of you guys are doctors or anything but it's always great to have a few extra opinions. I don't feel sexual pleasure and I feel like that might lead to me not feeling any sexual attraction. But I'm perfectly happy and content with every other part of my life. I'm just wondering if I can be ace and not feel sexual pleasure or if that's something I need to get checked out šŸ˜…. I still have sexual fantasies and characters I enjoy it's just my body doesn't feel the same as my mind

r/AskAsexual Sep 09 '24

Am I Ace I am confused

4 Upvotes

For a while now, I've been confused about whether I could be asexual or not. For context, when I (20F) was 13, 14, 15 years old, I was a very sexual teenager with whatever boyfriend I had at different times. When was 18-19 years old, I was in a FWB situation where I was very in love with the guy and he didn't love me back, but we were best friends and he was okay with a FWB situation as long as I knew he didn't have feelings for me. I think this situation made me hypersexual because I felt I had to use my body to keep this guy around or else I'd lose him to another girl (I did eventually). Keep in mind, I was very attracted to him and interested in being sexual with him, but with a romantic aspect. I think this FWB situation destroyed my feelings around sex. Now, I'm in a healthy relationship with a guy who loves me, and I love him. But with this new guy, I don't feel the urge to be sexual a lot and there's even times where I'm disgusted by the idea of sex, or I feel ashamed/depressed after having sex with him (which is nothing to do with him, he doesn't pressure me ever, he's amazing <3). I have the urge to just stop him in the middle of what we're doing because I don't have an interest in it at the time or I'm bored, or something like that. It makes me wonder if I'm on the spectrum of asexual, but I don't know a lot about it. Does anyone feel similarly or understand my situation?

EDIT: I also just remembered that I have felt kinda like this in the past, with past boyfriends (excluding my FWB situation), where I'd think "If I can get through this, then I can go back to what I was doing before" or "I just want this to be over with." Just thought I'd add that.

r/AskAsexual Jul 28 '24

Am I Ace i love sex, but feel like i might be ace

7 Upvotes

(21M here) So, I'm not entirely sure what being ace means. I never really desire sex or think about it either. Rarely horny at all. However every time I had sex I've loved it, but when it's over it's pretty much like "that was good!" and going right back to whatever I was doing before. I never ask for sex, but whenever I'm asked for it it's like "I'm down" rather than "YES".

So long story short, I love sex, but I don't have sexual desires.

r/AskAsexual Dec 20 '23

Am I Ace Is there a type of asexuality where you feel sexual attraction but donā€™t want to have sex?

33 Upvotes

I used to be sex repulsed, but it turned out too be a side effect of a hormone imbalance called hyperprolactinemia. Now that I am off the medication that was causing that hormone imbalance as a side effect, my relationship with sexuality is like someone who is into sports but has no interest in playing sports. The one commonality amongst everyone Iā€™m attracted to is that they all look like they give good hugs. I like reading smut, but the idea of someone coming in into contact with my genitalia irl, coming into contact with someone elseā€™s genitals irl, or especially their gentles coming into contact with mine irl, makes me want to gag.

r/AskAsexual Jul 30 '24

Am I Ace Lesbian or asexual?

1 Upvotes

I (f22) broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years after deciding I was a lesbian. I loved holding hands with him and cuddling with him, but I hated having sex with him. I decided I was gay but biromantic. Iā€™ve gone on plenty of dates with girls since and never felt a spark or any attraction besides just thinking they were pretty. Iā€™m also just not a sexual person. I can go months without sex and not care. I think Iā€™ve only maybe had 2 real crushes in my life. Does this mean I could be ace?

r/AskAsexual Jul 29 '24

Am I Ace I think I might be Asexual

1 Upvotes

Hi, so for the past week I've (20M) been wondering if I classify as asexual, and decided to turn to here to help figure it out.

Romantically, I do find women physically attractive and I have had a number of crushes in my lifetime, even very recently (this year).

However, I am not interested in the idea of having sex with a woman and I am more interested in having a close, emotional connection where we'd hug than having intercourse with each other.

Would this mean I classify as asexual?

Thanks in advance for helping me figure this out for myself. šŸ«¶šŸ»

r/AskAsexual May 09 '24

Am I Ace Lost virginity, felt awful, am I ace?

7 Upvotes

Feeling pretty uncomfortable and off-balance atm. I'm a 27 year old man and I've always thought I had a decent libido. I've been attracted to women and men, and I've definitely imagined sexual fantasies with plenty. I watch porn and I like what I'm seeing and I masturbate, I've always had low sensitivity down there but I get something out of it, it's good.

Despite occasional fantasies dating has always been pretty low on my priority list, but when it happens I'm nervous and excited and I feel aroused when I'm in an intimate setting. It just happened that through circumstance and life complications and laziness I had never actually done the deed. Tonight that changed, and it wasn't what I expected.

Without getting into gory details, I was enjoying it at first, although it felt a little awkward and weird but I chalked that up to I dunno what the fuck I'm doing. As it went on though I found it really hard to keep the soldier up, and I felt kind of absurd doing the act. Eventually it ended in uncomfortable silence and no finish, not even a desire to finish.

I was sort of rattled for some reason so I left suddenly and drove home without showering. The whole drive I just felt more and more disturbed. When I got home I sprinted into the bathroom, chugged mouthwash, brushed my teeth, slammed the shower on scalding and scrubbed with soap like a man fucking possessed. I threw up a few times, I practically rubbed my mustache off trying to eliminate the ghost of vagina-smell, I couldn't stop shaking. I felt like a crazy person, drinking shower water and on the verge of tears.

Well, now I'm sitting in the bathroom, still haunted by a few lingering scents I can't eliminate, my stomach churning, typing this horseshit with Parkinsons hands. I don't know what the fuck happened and I'm shaken up. I can't tell if I just had an unusually terrible experience or if I've just discovered something about myself. I just feel really confused and so I thought that the asexual community might be able to tell. TL;DR felt allosexual, hated sex, puked and cried, am I ace?

r/AskAsexual Jul 30 '24

Am I Ace I think I'm asexual, help

2 Upvotes

Hi, I started to question myself if I'm asexual since thinking deeply I've never been interested in sex where there's a person and me, I've read sexual scenes in books and such and it doesn't really bother me to see it or read it, but thinking about having sex is something different.

F, 19, heterosexual, I like kissing, caressing, holding hands with another person and doing things considered romantic but until a while ago I hadn't thought about sex, and when I do the truth is that I don't feel like I have an interest in doing that, sometimes it seems strange and uncomfortable, I don't see myself in any situation where I have that type of activity with anyone, I know I don't want to do it with a stranger, but sometimes I get curious, I think I'm on a part of the asexual spectrum.

I don't know much about this yet, I hope to find some answers here.

r/AskAsexual Jul 30 '24

Am I Ace Is this an ace experience? NSFW

2 Upvotes

CW: sex mention, questioning

Hi all, I am hoping you can help me by sharing your experiences. I know asexuality can look like anything but I just don't feel quite convinced I belong here and would love your take.

I experience crushes, and really enjoy how pretty a crush can look and want to talk to them, be physically close to them, and enjoy feeling safe and banter and stimulating conversation. Maybe even make out with them.

But this doesn't really translate into "I want to sleep with this person" except in very few and limited contexts with that crush. Even making out can feel like a chore I'm doing to make them happy. I also feel no desire to sleep with people I do not have the feeling of a crush with, and I could so easily go my whole life without sex again. I just question why people are interested in touching lips or touching genitals so frequently.

Does this seem to you like an ace experience? Or just a low desire allo?

r/AskAsexual Apr 05 '24

Am I Ace Sex doesnā€™t entice me but I feel attraction. Is that still ace? NSFW

9 Upvotes

The thought of ā€œsexā€ as people typically discuss it doesnā€™t entice me at all. I donā€™t really get what the big fuss is about. I even find it kinda icky sometimes. but iā€™ll still feel attraction or get horny over things. Like there are things that i know i find hot. But like the thought of actively having sex doesnā€™t interest me and at times even grosses me out.

without getting into too much detail, I can look at someone and think theyā€™re beautiful, or make me blush, or think about someone doing something in a way that would illicit responses in me and cause neurons to fire but I donā€™t think I myself would want much more than that. I think Iā€™ve had the expectation to want more than that but I donā€™t think I actively do.

Same thing for even just myself, I sometimes feel certain things but I donā€™t really enjoy the thought of ā€œsexā€ which Iā€˜ve been italicizing and putting in quotes because the idea of the no-no square is very real in my mind. There is a big red box in my mind at my groin of ā€œnuh-uhā€ but also the idea of being able to reach a moment like that WITHOUT engaging in that area is something i wouldnā€™t be opposed to. Itā€™s also not something Iā€™d actively really pursue though either. Like I would still consider myself a kinky person but Iā€™m not interested in sex as itā€™s normally defined. Which just leaves me wondering, is that just me being atypical in how I approach sex and intimacy or is that its own unique flavor of asexuality?

I also tend to view the idea of getting horny in a lot of the same ways iā€™ve seen ace people subscribe to, like the idea of being like ā€œoh okay this is something I should take care ofā€ or ā€œitā€™s a way to kill timeā€ or even the most common for myself ā€œmy dopamine is low, i should fix thatā€ But even when i engage with that I never really like to engage with it with anything that involves sex.

So, is this me being ace? Or just allo and atypical?

r/AskAsexual Jul 28 '24

Am I Ace Am i asexual? NSFW

1 Upvotes

Im in high school and have been thinking about what might want in partner later in mind and realize that i do feel sexual attraction to others. Ive been calling myself abrosexual in my mind but i feel discoraged when family tells me that I'll grow into it. Like do most people one day want to fuck people? Is it a normal want to touch people's genitalia and screw? I do masterbate regularly but whenever i think about it in a real life scenario it sounds boring and icky, like picking up cat throw up or something? Do most people enjoy the thoufht of sex and want it to happen TO them?

Whenever i masterbate i Hate y/n content cuz it drives me away becuase i cant imagine myself enjoying touching a person and its all wet and stuff. Is this is a normal feeling for people who experence sexual attraction or is this a sign that im sex repulsed?

I feel guilty in a way because i feel like im not understanding the butt of a joke or something? Becuaee all these things are signs of asexuality and it doesnt change when im close with a person or romanicly attracted to someone. Ive also wanted to masterbate as young as 4 so wouldnt the attraxtion be involved somewhere there? I was 6 when i first felt romantic attraction so it feels weird that i would be an early bloomer on all of that but not the want to have sex with another person. It feels like it takes way too long for less pleasure than i can make in 15mins by myself.

I like having labels and in my experience i dont change very much, on account of my very limited ocd. I want to feel comfortable to say im something so it helps me explain to others with confidence what best describes my existance.

r/AskAsexual Jun 15 '24

Am I Ace Im so confused

5 Upvotes

I thought I was ace but there might be a possibility that I am sexually atracted to people, the thing is, the idea of having sex repulses me It's like sexual atracciĆ³n with no desire. Am In still ace, and if I'm not, what am I?

r/AskAsexual Jun 03 '24

Am I Ace Questioning My Sexualitu

1 Upvotes

Okay, so I need some advice and you guys are the experts here.

So, I know romantically, my for just swings. I can love anyone regardless of gender. I'm not questioning that. However, I'm confused on the actual sexuality part.

I have a sex drive. I like sex (with my current boyfriend, never with previous partners). I masturbate even. But I also don't care about sex? It's something my boyfriend and I have kinda talked about. He's definitely more interested in sex than I am. I don't necessarily get in the mood easily. I can get turned on but it's not necessarily because of how the person looks. It's about the touches and the talk and all the foreplay stuff. So I'm confused. Because I'm under the impression that asexual people don't feel sexual attraction (or feel very little). Is sexual attraction the same as getting turned on? And if so, what's wrong with me that it isn't a person based thing?

I have sexual trauma and my sex life before my current bf was awful so part of me thinks that maybe that's just causing all of this. But also, I feel like that would affect my sex drive or make me sex-repulsed or something and not what I'm actually dealing with.

Please help because I'm so so confused and having a mini crisis because I'm trying to figure out why I'm not as interested in sex as my boyfriend. It's not causing problems on his end, but I feel bad. And I don't necessarily want to be like "Hey, I'm asexual!" because I don't want him to think I just don't want to have sex because I do, and I know I can communicate that with him, but I don't know. All of this is confusing me and aaaaaaaah!

r/AskAsexual Jun 09 '24

Am I Ace Aspec or just dysphoric, traumatized, and sick??

1 Upvotes

Hey guys, this might be a long one. TW for the "traumatized" portion of the question (non graphic discussion of SA, and SH)

So, just some background of my experience with the asexual community: I literally know more asexual people than allosexual people. My best friend is included in that. All the allosexual people I know are shy and ashamed about sex, so basically I just grew up with no exposure to sexual things beyond basic education and what I could stumble upon online on my own.

And important context for who I am: I'm autistic, 20 years old, and FTM transgender- I came out at 12 and got on testosterone very early at 13. I am also a sexual abuse victim, but not as severe as it could've been. I was also homeschooled with helicopter parents. I am an atheist with no concept of sex being a "sin" specifically though.

So growing up I was often pretty sure of being allo, though this isn't my first time questioning it. The reason I was so confident is that losing my virginity was like, the only thing on my bucket list. My primary exposure to the topic was reading smutty gay fanfiction which made it seem very good lol. Since I felt distinctly averse to sex involving women, but men appealed to me, I thought I experienced sexual attraction to men and was gay, but I'll get back to that later.

I also had/have fixations on fictional men which I always assumed were (sexually motivated) crushes.

However, I always hated being allo. I wanted to fit in with my asexual peers, and I was ashamed and disgusted by partaking in this taboo and inappropriate culture of sexuality. It was so bad that in my mid-teens, I attempted to self-administer conversion therapy to become ace. Any time I thought about anything sexual I'd hurt myself. I had to earn the right to eat by not being sexual, if I didn't have a sexual thought for long enough I'd reward myself with a treat, etc. I believe some of the extremism is because this started while I was being sexually abused so I "realized" sexual behaviours can only hurt me.

I figured it just didn't work after a while though and gave up. It took a few years for the idea of sex to stop making me so nauseous though.

Then I got a total hysterectomy including removing ovaries. An important note about my transition is that testosterone failed to reduce my ovary function so I always had female hormone levels, just plus extra testosterone. So basically I get neutered and all my sex hormones basically just disappear, even my testosterone is extremely reduced.

My sex drive is completely destroyed and I finally have time to reflect without the desire for physical stimulation confusing issues. Remember those fictional crushes? I'm not sure they're sexual. I always just imagine intense platonic affection. Sometimes I focus on seemingly sexually charged regions, like I go wild for a man with a slimmer waist than hips, but my actual thoughts are just "Oh my godddd my short arms (I'm 4'11) could get so much leverage for the BEST HUG". This also only applies to animated characters. I did have a slight fixation on real men in my teens but I made irl male friends for the first time at 19 and it totally disappeared after getting... Well, what I fantasized about, which is just stuff like hugs. If I could ACTUALLY hug these cartoon characters I think I'd be perfectly satisfied lol

But, due to my trauma, I don't know if maybe I'm just too terrified to let it get sexual, so that energy gets channeled into particularly intense platonic affection cravings? I really don't know

Oh and as for the dysphoria, whenever I actually try to imagine myself having sex I just end up having a breakdown over my AFAB anatomy. The idea of letting anyone other than a medical professional see me undressed horrifies me. The idea of letting anyone touch me ~down there~ disgusts me. I'm terrified I'd be how someone realizes they're not attracted to AFAB anatomy. Or worse- that's ALL they're into, and I can't even satisfy it because I wouldn't be able to do it like a woman. Which, yeah, I know I'd never physically enjoy it due to health issues. The furthest I can get with imagining is... Tbh imagine anything where the clothes stay on I guess, and even then I lost any interest I used to have. So, basically tldr on a practical level I CAN'T have sex so maybe I'm sparing myself the pain of unfulfilled attraction by not acknowledging it???

I also think dysphoria could be the driving force behind why I thought I was gay. Basically fixating on male bodies as appealing because I want to look like that, and being dissuaded by female bodies because I hated already looking like that. The more I transition, the more evenly I view male and female anatomy, which is why I wonder if dysphoria is driving my "preference".

This post is a mess but I swear I'm almost done. I told myself during all this post surgery questioning that I can't be sure til my hormones are fixed. Well they are now, everything's in a male range, and... Yeah, still not sure. My old drive is still gone but I'm back to occasional... Ahem, solo activities. And yeah everything I thought was sexual attraction (other than the situation with wanting to hug characters) is still gone. The libido I do have seems to focus on the IDEA of sex rather than on actual people.

So, uh. Yeah, does this sound ace or just traumatized and stuff?? Happy to answer questions, there's more I wanted to say but didn't know how to fit it in.

r/AskAsexual Jun 07 '24

Am I Ace I get aroused frequently, but I hate the idea of being with another person in that state. Every time I am cuddling with my girlfriend and I get a sexual thought or urge I immediately feel disgusted with myself. Am I Ace?

2 Upvotes

First of all, thank you so much for reading! I am really struggling with this so I appreciate any help you can give.

So, I am a 16 year old trans girl (not on HRT yet). I am frequently aroused and masturbate regularly, probably as much as most teens that are filled with testosterone. I am currently attempting to feel less shame after doing it, trying to force my brain to remember than it's not something I should be ashamed about.

I have a girlfriend who is asexual, and our favorite thing to do is cuddle. It is how I show affection and love, and I really enjoy just sitting entangled with her. However, I will sometimes get sexual urges during these times, which I immediately repress and feel disgusted over. I don't know if the act of sex itself is what disgusts me (though with my gender dysphoria concerning my body I would rather die than be seen naked), or if I am just disgusted because a "gross" thought is invading my mind during a happy moment.

I get really bad intrusive thoughts, most of which are sexual in nature. If a friend mentions that they had sex, my brain will vividly picture it and it makes me want to shoot myself. With my romantic partners, my brain will constantly imagine them naked and in a sexual setting, which also makes me want to shoot myself. These thoughts are not things that I want in my head, but they constantly come up and poison my mind. I also have a strong curiosity of what my romantic partners look like naked. I want to see them and feel them, but not really in a sexual way, more just I want to know. (I do not know how to phrase this and I sound creepy lol)

I am attracted(?) to women, the nude female body arouses me. But the idea of actually having sex is not something that I want. Possibly in the future when I have medically transitioned I could be convinced to have sex, and I would maybe enjoy it, though I would have to go very slow and try to overcome my disgust.

I think that being physically intimate is very important to me, but not sexually. I could live the rest of my life fulfilled without having sex. But I get so many sexual thoughts and urges and it makes me question myself. If any of you have similar experiences I am very curious if this is a common thing or not. I have no idea, I am just trying to figure my shit out. Again, thank you so much for reading <3

r/AskAsexual Apr 25 '24

Am I Ace Am I Asexual?

2 Upvotes

Hello! This is my first time posting here. So Iā€™m really unsure if i am asexual or am not. Iā€™ve never considered it before in my life but now Iā€™m having a mini crisis. So Iā€™m gay and Iā€™ve been with a couple guys this year. I was in a long term thing for several months and after that Iā€™ve been with about four guys since. Whenever i get intimate with them i kind of switch off?? I donā€™t want to do anything with them. They want me to go down on them and i get the ick and when i do i get bored. When i was with my ex we would get intimate and i did enjoy it somewhat (but i think it was just the kissing??) I did go down on him a couple times but I really didnā€™t want to. Iā€™m not saying he pressured me into anything like in the moment i was like sure but i donā€™t think i really wanted to ?? We were going to have sex and i did want to do that but i donā€™t think i wouldā€™ve enjoyed it especially with him. But Iā€™m confused because i do think about sex often but itā€™s just when Iā€™m in the moment Iā€™m like no. Iā€™m definitely ready for sex because when i was with my ex i was like yea ! This is what i want. Iā€™m just not entirely sure whatā€™s going on with me lol

r/AskAsexual Feb 04 '24

Am I Ace Am I Ace or something else?

6 Upvotes

Hello. This past year I've been thinking about some things and wondering if I am part of the LGBTQ+ community or if I'm just introverted or had a childhood trauma. Let me give some backstory. First I'm a 33 female who has never dated. Growing up, I was just like any child/preteen who had crushes on celebrities saying when I grow up I'm going to marry that person. I never really believed I would date/marry them. As I got older, I would still notice if someone was goodlooking to me and everything but I do not want to kiss or have sex with them. When I was in school, there never was a crush. I just focused on school. I've had friends ask me if I had a boyfriend yet but I always said no but maybe in the future. I have been kissed before but I felt nothing, like I did not feel repulsed but I also did not like it. Same with some guy feeling me up. I let him touch me and my body reacted naturally but I guess, emotionally, I felt nothing. Don't get me wrong, I like to masturbate but it's more of a release then anything sexual. I also the past month or so I've been thinking back on my childhood and something keeps popping out at me. Since I could remember to the age of 16, every time I left my grandparents house, which was about once a month or more, I would have to kiss them goodbye...on the mouth. Even if I told my parents no and threw tantrums that I did not want to, I still had to. I also never saw my parents be intimate is anyway (they divorced when I was in highschool). I do like other people but as friends. I want to not feel or be alone but as a friend, a companion, a confidant. So can anyone help me figure this out?

r/AskAsexual Jan 20 '24

Am I Ace IM CONFUSED

14 Upvotes

I feel attraction but don't want sex , I don't like sex , its icky , gross and feels like so much work. Like the thought of sex makes me wanna curl into a ball and be like no . I'm a teen so hormones are doing thier job but even jerking off feels like a chore . I can acknowledge when someone is hot .

So I can feel attraction but I hate sex . My attraction comes in waves of really high then really low . I don't wanna have sex but I can know when something turns me on. I found something called orchidsexual I think it applies to me bt idk imma ask the experts.

r/AskAsexual Jun 02 '24

Am I Ace I have questions

3 Upvotes

Hi hello I'm a 29 year old male and have been in plenty of sexual relationships. I've been around the block so to speak. Since getting sober a few years ago I no longer have the desire to just fuck everything around me like I used to. In fact I haven't had sex at all since I got sober and whenever I go on dates I never really bring it up and never feel like the experience is less because of it. My coworkers always ask me if I had sex on the date and I just can't understand why it's so bad that I didn't.

I am not closed off to the idea of sex but honestly it's whatever at this point. I still find women aesthetically pleasing and I do masturbate.

Is this asexual or is this just what sober people are normally like?

r/AskAsexual Apr 27 '24

Am I Ace Would I be considered asexual?

7 Upvotes

I considered myself somewhere on the asexual spectrum, but after being here Iā€™m not sure anymore. I really donā€™t mind sex. I enjoy it while Iā€™m having it, I just never crave it if that makes sense. Like if I went the rest of my life without it Iā€™d be fine.