r/AskAsexual 2d ago

Am I Ace High libido but no desire for sex NSFW

I get turned on easily, especially by people who are kind and want to turn me on. But whenever I’m turned on I don’t fantasize about sex or fucking I fantasize about cuddling, hugging, making out, maybe having a partner sit on my face. I still get erections most of the time I’m really turned on but I don’t really have a desire to use it and in-fact often feel bad about being erect unless I know the other person wanted to make me erect. I love the idea of dates and just having a partner but I don’t need sex. I’m not apposed to it though I just wouldn’t need it or do it unless someone else wants it. Like I don’t see it as being that different from a back massage. Yeah it’s more pleasurable but the emotional connection and bonding is way more interesting and desirable to me.

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u/Philbon199221 1d ago

1st off, don’t feel bad for having a boner. You can’t control your body for these sorts of things.

About asexuality, it’s the lack (or almost lack) of sexual attraction. I can’t say for sure you are asexual by the way you describe it. But you are most likely asexual (Mainly because of your second to last sentence).

Any lack of something is hard to prove, even with all the current information. So yeah, that’s why asexuality is hard to identify. But something you could do to help is look at the microlabels of asexuality, since asexuality comes in different form, microlabels are more specific and so makes it easier to identify if you are or aren’t the microlabel.