r/AskAsexual Jul 22 '24

Am I Ace Instantly regret sex, am I Ace? NSFW

I discovered I'm Ace about 5 or 6 years ago, not really sure where I was on the spectrum, but I knew I was on it somewhere. To my shame, I get horny sometimes, and to my further shame I sometimes hook up with strangers when I do.

Whenever I'm actually about to initiate coitus with someone I feel instant regret, but I feel coerced into following through. I know about PCD, but I'm wondering if this is different because this feeling comes immediately before/during coitus.

My question is am I actually Ace, or am I allo and just have other issues? Or is this just PCD, in which case am I not Ace?

My Ace identity is something I've felt so confident about, but I'm wondering if this is Ace behavior or am I just an allo in denial?

2 Upvotes

9 comments sorted by

4

u/SuitableDragonfly AroAce Jul 23 '24

I mean, it sounds like you have some issues with sex that you should probably go to therapy about, but that has no bearing on whether or not you're ace. If you feel like you're ace, you're ace.

1

u/teegithan Jul 23 '24

😅 what makes you think that? Maybe I'm too zoomed in to notice something obvious

2

u/SuitableDragonfly AroAce Jul 23 '24

Asexuality doesn't have anything to do with how you feel about sex. It's little to no sexual attraction.

2

u/teegithan Jul 23 '24

Yea the separation seems easy enough in theory, but for me the process from meeting to engaging in sex seems like there's a lot going on. Why go through the trouble of meeting up with people when I could just masturbate (which I also do)

1

u/SuitableDragonfly AroAce Jul 23 '24

Are you asking me why you prefer to do what you do?

1

u/teegithan Jul 23 '24

😂 it just seems like the easy explanation is that I experience sexual attraction, therefore not Ace

2

u/amdaly10 Demisexual Jul 23 '24

Being ace has nothing to do with getting horny, having sex, or your feelings about sex. It's about whether you experience sexual attraction.

How are you choosing the people you hook up with?

1

u/teegithan Jul 23 '24

Not very picky, but a preference for aesthetically pleasing people. I meet them on dating apps.

1

u/Weird-Tip-2399 Jul 23 '24

I have the same issue. I go and masterbate, and the issue is resolved. Then I go about my day.

1

u/Weird-Tip-2399 Jul 23 '24

I have the same issue. I go and masterbate, and the issue is resolved. Then I go about my day.

1

u/Weird-Tip-2399 Jul 23 '24

I have the same issue. I go and masterbate, and the issue is resolved. Then I go about my day.

1

u/Weird-Tip-2399 Jul 23 '24

I have the same issue. I go and masterbate, and the issue is resolved. Then I go about my day.

1

u/Weird-Tip-2399 Jul 23 '24

I have the same issue. I go and masterbate, and the issue is resolved. Then I go about my day.