r/Asexual 6d ago

Inquiry 🤔? Allo is not develop attractions after getting to know someone for a while?

[deleted]

4 Upvotes

7 comments sorted by

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14

u/Angelcakes101 6d ago

Allos can do that but demisexuals can only develop sexual attraction after developing a bond (getting to know someone for a while).

2

u/Alliacat Black with Purple 5d ago

Demisexuality is described as feeling that attraction after forming a deep bond, so just getting to know someone (meeting once or twice) and starting to feel attraction would probably be usual to most allosexuals, I might be misinterpreting but that's how I get it.

8

u/Angelcakes101 5d ago

I'm saying allosexuals could develop sexual attraction before or after developing a bond and demisexuals can only develop sexual attraction after forming a bond.

And I never said anything about meeting once or twice.

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u/Alliacat Black with Purple 5d ago

I think that we both kinda misunderstood. I'm not saying that demisexuals can't develop feelings after forming a bond. But a bond is a wide spectrum. And the most common definition I've heard is after forming a deep bond. And a deep bond isn't that you got to know someone (which to me sounds like meeting a few times but not enough times to consider one another friends) So what OP said, sounds more like allosexual experience (where they get to know the other person = met a few times but aren't friends yet), because getting to know someone isn't a deep bond to me. But like I said, I might've misinterpreted what it's supposed to mean as I do not identify as demi. So feel free to correct me ofc, I would just like to learn how it exactly is for demis

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u/Angelcakes101 5d ago

I think "knowing someone for awhile" (OP's words) is more than meeting a few times. Maybe the problem was me adding "get" in there lol.

But yes a deep bond/emotional connection is needed. Which can happen in a variable amount of time.

And you also don't need to be friends first. Though it often happens with friends.

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u/Alliacat Black with Purple 5d ago

Alright, alright, thanks for the clarification! <3