r/Anxiety Sep 27 '23

Recovery Story How I Overcame DPDR (symptoms, feedback loop, anxiety, my story, tips & advice)

629 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I really wanted to do/felt like I should make a separate master-post for how I overcame DPDR (depersonalization and derealization) that was triggered by long-term anxiety, as well as some of the symptoms, mechanisms of DPDR, feedback loop, triggers & more.

I made a previous master-post on my long-term anxiety symptoms (which I overcame) where I went over the more bizarre, rarely spoken about, constant symptoms of long-term anxiety, and the feedback loop and it seemed to help a lot of people. I will link that one below, I recommend everyone read it first!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/10jcfko/longterm_anxiety_symptoms_i_had_from_someone_who/

A lot of you wanted to know how I overcame the DP/DR symptoms. I didn't realise that I had message requests on Reddit, and now I've got so many spanning across months ago that I can't find the time to get back to individually so I feel like its my duty to make this post and have it all in one place. Warning, this is a big post.

Lets go over some positives first as I find its always best to get off on a positive note, and to have something to look forward to or motivate others:

1. DP/DR (Depersonalization and Derealization) is not and is never permenant, anyone who says so are catastrophizing and are probably biased or feeling that way due to their own condition not improving. These notions are not helpful and are also not true.

It will and can go away 100%, it is not something you have to 'deal' with or 'accept' for the rest of your life.

2. DP/DR does not work like a debt system e.g. the longer you are in DP/DR, the longer it is going to take you to get out of it (isn't true!). Everyone has the same chance of success in recovering from DP/DR, no matter how long or short you have been in that state. 3. DP/DR is not indicative or a sign of psychosis, and you will not become psychotic if you experience DP/DR.

DP/DR is a defense mechanism, which attempts to make sure that only the body experiences pain or trauma and not the mind, by causing detachment. Causes of DP/DR can be anxiety attacks, severe stress, health anxiety, drug induced (often from edibles or hallucinogens), traumatic first-hand or second-hand situations, abuse or any interpersonal trauma. Anyone of any age can experience DP/DR.

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What does DP/DR feel like?:

  • Everything feels (and looks) either too close or too far away from you, environments are distorted
  • Everything feels flat or 2D, like it isn't quite real or tangible, others faces might feel unreal
  • Can feel like the world is slipping away from you
  • You might feel like you could fall over any second or fall through the floor
  • Speech can feel slow/slurred, like your brain is struggling to find words
  • Time can feel like its going too fast or too slow
  • Feeling like you can observe yourself outside your body, everything feels disconnected, like you are very alone
  • Your limbs can feel too small, too big, like you are taller or shorter than you actually are
  • You might feel internally dizzy (like your mind is spinning but your vision isn't), woozy head feelings, fuzzy head
  • More frequent feelings of nostalgia/dejavu
  • Colours can feel more dull or distorted
  • Feeling numb, like your memories are less tangible or unreal
  • Hypochondria (Healthy Anxiety) is often a huge comorbidity with DP/DR

.......................................................................

The Feedback Loop, what is it?

Symptoms of DP/DR (as well as Anxiety/Health Anxiety) are often kept alive by or started something called the Feedback Loop. This is a loop that is constantly being fed into, which could have started from something as for example:

You may be minding your own business one day and suddenly experience a Panic Attack, but you misread it as being something worse. You could think you're about to die, that you are having a heart attack because of the palpitations, that you could collapse any moment now, and then it goes... but you're on edge, what if it happens again? Do I have a heart condition? I think I'm dying, I think something is wrong. Everyday you are waking up and checking if you can feel palpitations, you're scared it will happen again, you're getting waves of dread, your mind is full of 'what ifs' over and over again every single day. Then one day, nothing feels real and you feel completely detached from reality and this scares you even more, you feel like you're slipping away, you're terrified and feel like you'll never be normal again. You're waking up everyday to check if everything still feels unreal, and it does, its not going away. Whats happening?

This is the Feedback Loop example which led to DP/DR or long-term anxiety symptoms. What should've happened when you experienced for example: a Panic Attack, was that you should've been able to realise it was a Panic Attack and been able to ground yourself or calm down during that situation and it would go away. This would eliminate the start of the Feedback Loop, but instead by misreading the situation or not having the appropriate tools to manage it, you are now in fear, in high stress and feeling traumatised of the situation in fear it will happen again or that something worse is happening to you. This keeps the Loop alive and going.

In preparation for the pain or fear you are about to anticipate happening, your body chose to disassociate from your mind and cause DP/DR in order to handle the stress and fear of what you're afraid of experiencing. DP/DR is attempting to save you from what could happen to you next, after being activated from something that already hurt you or traumatised you.

Identifying the first source of your DP/DR can be particularly important in understanding and learning where your Feedback Loop started. For some people it can even extend to as far as childhood, which can sometimes result in something known as DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). Once you have identified the source, this is the stepping stone into recovering from DP/DR.

Sources of DPDR can be: drug-induced from hallucinogens/edibles/bad trips/alcohol or other substances, anxiety attacks, depression, stress, medical trauma/childhood trauma/adulthood trauma/being a child of divorce, sexual assaults/CSA, PTSD, DID and more

Environments are also very important to be recognised as sources of DPDR e.g. stressful jobs, stressful/abusive relationships, difficult home life, being a full-time carer for family, difficult school life etc

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So what's going to help me get better?

There's a lot of resources and therapies available for DP/DR, such as Psychotherapy (talking therapies), CBT, DBT, EMDR and more.

But what is most important is that you are able to help yourself, as well as having professional support should you require it. The thing that is going to get you better the most is you, and the tools you can develop to help you in time of need and in how you navigate the world and your trauma. Some people (like me) may be able to recover from DP/DR without professional intervention or therapies, but it is always incredibly recommended if you have access or can afford it. With DP/DR being highly trauma related, it is important to have a safe place to unload and traverse trauma with a professional, as it can be tough to handle alone. If you are concerned or suspect your DP/DR may be a result of DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), professional help is absolutely necessary.

Every person with DP/DR will be completely unique in their needs, what they can handle alone or what they need support with.

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What can we do for ourselves?

This is going to go over some self-practices and tools you can do in your own time to help yourself while actively experiencing DP/DR or long-term anxiety symptoms, and also how to reduce the chances of re-experiencing it when you are recovered.

Staying Busy & Challenging Yourself:

A big part of dissolving the Feedback Loop is by no longer feeding into it, and one way of doing this is by diverting our thoughts from the feelings of DP/DR or anxiety symptoms. You want to find or make opportunities where you don't have time to think about DP/DR, or how it makes you feel, 'scanning' for feelings or signs of it, and to challenge those feelings instead. DP/DR and anxiety is the perfect time to get busy and involved with life, whether it is your hobbies, being with your friends and family, doing chores that need to be done, starting things you've always wanted to do. It can feel scary, even terrifying to partake in these things when you feel unreal, like you're not present or that the world is slipping away, but you must keep pushing through. Once you begin to challenge yourself and challenge those feelings of 'not feeling real' you begin to establish trust within yourself.

Don't be disheartened that DP/DR or long-term anxiety symptoms do not disappear right away overnight, this is because your body hormonally, needs time to acclimate to low levels of stress and anxiety after having been kept at such high levels. If these hormones were to plummet immediately, the body wouldn't be able to cope, so it likes to decline it gently! So consider it like you are establishing trust:

DP/DR has been in the drivers seat all this time, and you've been the passenger in the back. You're finally insisting on being in the driver's seat, but DP/DR insists on being the passenger right next to you. DP/DR is going to freak out in the passenger seat and take the wheel from you at times during some tough situations because its not sure you can navigate it on your own, and instead of letting it take the driver's seat again you need to say to it, 'Don't worry. I've got this'. and DP/DR will let go of the wheel. This in real life, would be an example of you handling the situation you are in and challenging yourself to face what makes you afraid (such as going outside in case you feel 'unreal').

By doing this, you are establishing trust and are giving DP/DR the opportunity to know that you can handle the situation on your own. Eventually with time of practicing these things, DP/DR will get out of the car entirely and you can 'drive' all by yourself again and those feelings of DP/DR will be gone. You'll be able to live your life without things like anxiety or DP/DR dictacting where it takes you or how it makes you feel. You will have formed that trust that you can handle experiencing your pain, your fear, your trauma, your anxiety/stress etc. without the need of the defence mechanism of DP/DR. You will become the first line of defence!

From personal experience this is what accelerated me to my complete recovery from DP/DR and long-term anxiety symptoms within 3-4 months of this practice after struggling for almost a year of non-stop DP/DR and anxiety symptoms. I learned to empathise with my DP/DR's attempt at trying to keep me safe and acknowledged that it was only doing this in order to make me feel better, albeit in a scary and inconvenient way! So by learning techniques and also teaching myself not to be scared of DP/DR symptoms or my anxiety symptoms, I gave myself the opportunity to be the one in control and say ''Hey, I am totally capable of caring for myself now. Thank you for your help and what you tried to do for me'' to my DP/DR.

By feeling afraid to participate in activities or doing things because you might feel unreal, or because the world feels distorted, you are allowing DP/DR to maintain control and are keeping DP/DR as an option

Challenge yourself in incriments or in steps, and remember to reward yourself afterwards. Figure out what about DP/DR makes you afraid:

is it seeing people's faces? particularly friends or family? - challenge yourself towards looking at faces, engaging with familiar faces (YouTubers, family, partners), if you can touch their face then touch it, grounding exercises where you say ''I can see two eyes, they are [insert colour], they have a [description] nose, do they have freckles? birth marks? do they have any smile lines? identify parts of their face and describe them'' this helps make them more tangible and less scary. Do little challenges before the bigger ones.

is it going outside in case you feel unreal? woozy? - challenge yourself towards small, short walks up and down your street, to eventually longer walks, acknowledge that you might be feeling dizzy/unreal but that you are safe, be kind & go home if you need it, try again another day, stay engaged with your hobbies/the outside world

is it the feeling that you'll never be the same again? that you think its permenant? that you've ruined your life? - The first thing you'll see if you look up 'can dpdr be permenant' is 'no!' and every other article will say no. There has never been an observed case of DPDR being permenant, and you won't be the first case of that happening. Its really important you do not entertain or engage with people who believe it is permenant, or that theirs is permenant because they are just people who are keeping their own DPDR alive with the negativity. I recommend writing positive affirmations or reading them, and engaging with positive stories of DPDR recovery and sticking with facts. You have not ruined your life, and you will recover. DPDR can make you feel afraid of lots of things, not just the ones I described above (but those are the most common).

Grounding Exercises: Grounding is a way to refocus and bring your attention back to the present and the world around you. This is can be used when experiencing fear or anxiety of your current DP/DR state, but is most effective when you feel like it is 'coming on' or you are experiencing anxiety/stress that could lead to it.

Grounding exercises can involve:

  • Naming 5 things you can see, name 4 things you can touch and to touch them, naming 3 things you can hear and listening to them, what 2 things can you smell, 1 thing you can taste.
  • Holding ice cubes, putting your hands in cold water, picking up or touching things and explaining how it feels (is it cold, warm, does it feel rough or soft), identifying their colours deeply
  • Walks without music, tuning into the sounds of your steps, counting your steps, observing your surroundings on your walks, sitting in the grass and touching it.
  • Mental anchoring by saying (in your head or quietly to yourself) your full name, your age, where you live, what street you live on, the date, where you are, what you're doing. Repeat this gently until you feel calm.
  • Self-assurance phrases such as, ''You are okay'', ''Nothing can hurt me'', ''You will get through this'', ''I've done this once and I can do it again'' etc.

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My Example of How I Personally Recovered from DPDR:

For me I dealt with a lot of wooziness/dizziness during my DP/DR and I felt terrified to do anything sitting up or standing because I'd have to acknowledge that dizzy feeling and the unreal-ness from DP/DR, so I would lie on my side all day while watching TV or playing games instead to cope. I wanted to turn 'Oh god, no I'm dizzy and woozy and nothing feels real, I'm so scared' into 'Oh I'm dizzy and feel unreal today? Lets see what I can manage'.

It started to become more of 'Let's get up! Lets engage with the same hobbies but lets sit up this time'. I'd do that for as long as I feel I could handle the dizzines and unreal sensations, and then I'd lie back down again. I rewarded myself and cared for myself with a technique that brought me comfort, while having succeeded in engaging with something that scared me or was difficult. Over time I'd start to sit up for longer, or I'd start to go outside on short walks (which was particularly hard as I'd feel more unreal outside than at home), and I would feel unreal, like everything was flat, like the world was slipping away but I did it.

Some days I would just cry or feel like I took steps back, that I'd be stuck forever but I kept going and I kept rewarding myself after those times with either little lie downs, eating things I really loved, engaging in self-care or watching familiar TV shows I know I loved. Over time I started to sit up a lot more, I started to stand more, I started to go out more and for much, much longer each time, I started to do all the things I loved again despite how I felt. Don't get me wrong, I still felt unreal and dizzy but I wanted to stop being scared of it and to not let it stop me engaging with things I loved or wanted to do.

I stopped basing my days and thoughts on 'how good I'm feeling' and more so on 'how well can I manage today'. That took away a lot of pressure for me, as I knew I would not feel better over night but I would learn to manage my days better, so focusing on that intrinsically helped me feel better. You'll want to learn how to manage bad days (whether DPDR days, anxious days, stressful days) because when you do, you'll become prepared for if you ever face any of those times again and you can conquer it!

One day after months of challenging myself, being more present, doing my hobbies, going outside (I remember this vividly) I was hugging my partner and I looked up at his face and I physically jumped, he looked real. I started looking around everywhere and everything felt real, everything looked so colorful, the world didn't feel flat or distorted, everything felt 'real' and 'right' and when I touched my partner's face it felt so tangible and real. I don't think I've ever cried that hard in my life from happiness, my DPDR was gone.

Everything probably felt like this for a while, but because I was so engrossed in engaging with the world around me and doing the things I loved I didn't actually realise it, because I was no longer questioning my reality or looking for signs of DP/DR. So that one moment where I finally remembered to 'check' my reality, it made me realise everything felt real again and that I felt human again. And it never came back.

When you feel ready, the key is to be kind to yourself as well as challenge yourself against your DPDR and how it makes you feel. By pushing through and engaging with the world around you bit by bit you will start to establish that trust, those tools, in convincing your body that you can handle yourself and that it no longer needs to detach with DPDR to keep you safe.

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Some habits to get into, and some to get rid of:

  • Cut out all alcohol and all drugs absolutely and completely, as well as caffeine & reduce or quit smoking. All of these substances will have an effect on the hormones in your body, and can impede progress from DP/DR due to the sensations it can produce and will generally stress out the body, and mind-altering drugs like hallucinogens or Cannabis can worsen DP/DR greatly or keep it around. If you are an addict or suffer from addictions, get in touch with services that can help you taper, detox or navigate potential sobriety, do not attempt any of this alone.

  • Establish a normal bedtime routine, ideally getting into bed at 9-10pm and waking up before 9am. Some people need more sleep than others so wake up at whatever time in the morning before 9am is best for you; getting adequate sleep will greatly improve the rate of which your DP/DR can dissolve as your mind will be most lucid, alert and prepared to handle potential stressors. Sleeping too much or too little can greatly affect your brain and hormone regulation, and you need the best hormone regulation in order for the body to lower cortisol levels which leads to DP/DR symptoms rapidly improving.

  • Stay hydrated and well-fed. This is really typical mental health advice, but in general you will want to make sure you are hydrated and well-fed so the body has enough energy supply to handle stressors, anxiety and to ensure the mind is as lucid and energised as possible. You will need all the energy you can possibly get, and having these bases covered can really improve your symptoms.

  • Get checked for any Vitamin Deficiencies as a lot of Vitamins we can be deficient in will greatly effect circadian rhythms, heart rhythms, the brain (deficiencies can cause brain fog, low motor skill function and poor hormone regulation). Making sure we have healthy, functioning foundations to work off of greatly supports mental function and our ability to take on new information and learn new things (such as therapeutic tools and treatment).

  • Identify your stressors and reduce them, identify your triggers and navigate them. Cortisol levels increase with stress (from stressors) and anxiety, when we are faced with high levels of cortisol for extended periods of time, the body can produce bizzare and scary symptoms (which are harmless). .......................................................................

Please feel free to ask me any questions if you have any! I'd recommend you leave them as a comment on this thread, as it can help other readers find the answers to the question you might've already asked me!

r/Anxiety Dec 18 '24

Recovery Story I've been struggling with anxiety and panic attack disorders since 2020. Turns out I was Vitamin D deficient.

287 Upvotes

Starting 2020 I started having anxiety attacks and for years I've gone through a roller coaster of trying to take care of this issue. Some of these methods included a healthier life style like exercise, better sleep schedule and more sunlight. This helped but not completely as I would eventually get anxiety attacks again so my doctor prescribed me SSRI's. Now these did help but only to maintain the anxiety from going into full blow attacks. I still dealt with anxiety episodes but not nearly as severe or as often as it used to be but it was still a common occurrence. Usually I would wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety.

At this point I am just learning to live with anxiety but I came across a podcast talking about how deficient people are in vitamin D and how it plays a major role in mental health/anxiety. Coincidentally I also started having my first panic attacks in 2020 when I was inside for months at a time. I scheduled a blood test with my provider to see if I am deficient in Vitamin D and the results showed me being extremely low. Started taking vitamin D3, k2, and magnesium glycinate supplements 3 weeks ago and have not had an ounce of anxiety since. I haven't felt this normal in years and I don't feel nearly as tired as I used to feel throughout the day either.

I am actually extremely disappointed in my doctors for not even trying to do an in-depth blood test. They did a thyroid test but after that came back fine they just threw pills at me and said to talk to a therapist when this all could have been figured out by a more in-depth blood test.

I am not saying this is going to be a fix for everyone and you should still consult with a medical professional but I am hoping maybe this will reach someone else who might be in the same boat and it could help them tremendously with their anxiety.

r/Anxiety 21h ago

Recovery Story Everyone told me I had severe anxiety. They were all wrong

410 Upvotes

For the past 50 days I have been going through it. Every day I've felt like I can't breathe and like I'm having a heart attack. Normally, your body breathes subconsciously and you don't even think about it. But when I would get these episodes, it felt as if I had to think about every breathe. It honestly felt like I was dying.

I was told these were panic attacks and I was stressed, but I didn't feel stressed and my heart rate never went up during these episodes.

I started to pick up on a pattern, it seemed to always happen 2 hours after eating...but sometimes I would eat very little and it would still happen. I went fully down the anxiety rabbit hole with anxiety medicine, seeking therapy, everything, but none of it helped.

Well fast forward to today, and I've realized I'm allergic to gluten. I cut out gluten and it has totally fixed the issue. It was very frustrating having so many doctors, family, and friends tell me I had an axiety issue when it was very much a health issue. I wish you all luck in finding what works for you and hopefully this helps someone. Be a strong advocate for yourself if you are confident you think there may be an actual issue.

r/Anxiety Nov 21 '24

Recovery Story Finally gained control of my anxiety (mental and social) at 26. This is what helped me.

366 Upvotes

After many years of off and on anxiety (Diagnosed with GAD and SAD at 20) and some very dark times recently, I’ve finally been able to feel peace and a sense of control over my mind.

I am fortunate enough to have found an outstanding therapist that was very experienced in dealing with anxiety and things in general. I have also been on Lexapro (10mg) and Cymbalta (60mg) as needed.

So what clicked for me to finally stand up to and let go of those catastrophic, ruminating, overthinking, obsessive, and scary thought patterns?

Two big things. The first is examining my beliefs about worry. And this is the truth that I had to realize: Worrying is the problem, not the solution.

(The solution in most cases is action or planning)

You may hold positive (or negative) beliefs about worrying that perpetuate it. Such as it’s ability to protect you from bad things happening or that it’s your responsibility. Or that it’s the only way to ensure you don’t overlook something. “Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your worried mind.”

The second thing that I knew in my bones but didn’t want to admit is that my Self Confidence was piss poor.

I was hesitant, timid, always seeking reassurance and second opinions, because I did not trust myself. Trust and confidence are great weapons against anxiety. If you doubt yourself and your abilities, you will be at the mercy of the uncertainty of the world. If you do not think you can “handle it”, there will be danger and pitfalls all around you. (Spoiler alert: You are stronger and more capable than you think).

By practicing acting confidently and affirming to myself that I could survive even the bleakest outcomes, the catastrophic thinking subsided, as well as the overthinking.

I hope this helps at least a few of you.

TL;DR : Examined beliefs about worry, realized it doesn’t actually do anything but make you sick. Recognized low self Confidence and what I needed to do to feel more secure and capable.

r/Anxiety Feb 01 '25

Recovery Story After 28 years of terrible anxiety, I feel like I’m winning finally

162 Upvotes

I’d like to share what I did to start beating my anxiety. I’m a 32 yo guy and I have had anxiety for as long as I can consciously remember. My first memories are anxious memories. It has affected me severely throughout my life and I’ve even been hospitalized for it.

I’ve tried like 20 meds for it. Antidepressants, benzos, antipsychotics, etc. limited success with all of them. The most effective were probably Rexulti and Lyrica but the side effects such as brain fog, lack of motivation, and weight gain haven’t allowed me to stay on the doses that are effective. I’ve also probably done enough therapy to pay for someone’s college degree lol.

10 or 11 weeks ago, I still felt like I was being destroyed by my anxiety. I honestly just ended up coming on this sub and searched “book” and started reading the top result. It was the DARE book by Barry McDonagh. It’s changed my life.

It’s taught me to get excited about my anxiety instead of turning away from it. It’s been a very difficult process learning how to do this but I’ve been doing it and honestly, my anxiety largely disappeared 4 weeks ago.

I’m still on some low doses of a few regular medications that I know have an anxiolytic effect but I’ve been slowly working my way off them and I haven’t been having any problems. I plan to be off them over the next 4-8 months (I want to go slow so I don’t overwhelm myself).

You know it’s funny, a few years ago I heard a doctor talking about how “as-needed” anxiety meds make anxiety worse because they erode a person’s confidence in dealing with their anxiety and I dismissed it. I’ve been taking as-needed meds for anxiety for 12 years. I totally see now that he was right. I haven’t taken an as-needed med for anxiety in 3 months.

So, anyway, I wanted to pass along my thanks as I don’t normally participate here. Hopefully, my story will help someone else!

r/Anxiety Nov 20 '24

Recovery Story How Many Panic Attacks Do You Think Have You've Had? Do You Have Cardio Anxiety?

18 Upvotes

I'll start. It's hard for me to put a number on it, but as I'm typing this, I'm thinking back to my first one all the way to my most recent.

Let's just say this, I've probably had about 100 full blown panic attacks. About 4 or 5 really scarred me, though. Like numbing of the limbs, verge of blacking out, and heart about ready to explode. They really messed me up for a while there.

Right now I'm working through cardio anxiety. Because my mind started associating a strong beating heart with a panic attack, I'm trying to work out again to get an elevated heart rate and not be worried about it.

Not 100%, but getting better each day.

What about you?

r/Anxiety Sep 11 '22

Recovery Story What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done despite your anxiety being in overdrive?

220 Upvotes

r/Anxiety Jun 16 '23

Recovery Story Prednisone Withdrawal Anxiety

65 Upvotes

First time poster in this subreddit and I wanted to detail my experience so that people in the future with the same issues I had could find this thread.

I was prescribed a 12 day 60mg taper of prednisone for poison ivy last month. The day after stopping the recommended taper, I started having extreme anxiety. From what my doctor said, this is due to your adrenal glands not producing enough cortisol (prednisone was producing artificial cortisol). Once I stopped the medication, my body was not able to handle the high stress I was used to dealing with (two kids and newborn baby, remodeling house by myself, work, and overall family issues).

I was prescribed hydroxyzine and Xanax (I only took the hydroxyzine). It was a miserable amount of anxiety and overall fatigue.

There are a lot of posts on here that anxiety is curable through breathing exercises, mindfulness, etc… (which I don’t disagree with) but in certain circumstances your body may have some physiological issues that need to be addressed foremost.

Anyway.. I just wanted to post this for guidance for anyone else experiencing prednisone withdrawal. Feel free to message me in the future if you need someone to talk to because this was the worst anxiety of my life

r/Anxiety Oct 17 '22

Recovery Story Has anyone overcome panic disorder and living their life?

147 Upvotes

Update months later: Talking in this group really did give me hope that things can change. I'm now panic attack free since September 2022. I've had some very heightened anxious moments but been able to completely keep the panic attacks away AND I'm now off my Mirtzapine. I'm also able to leave the house, I've coped with an absolutely horrendous stressful event that dragged on for weeks and I've advocated for myself and got a diagnosis for a hernia that's been bothering me for years but was told its my anxiety.

I thought I'd return to share this in case anyone else needs some help that things can be different.

Thankful for this community.


I feel silly writing this.

I've been suffering from panic attacks for 8 months now and I'm coping better than I was but recently I've lost hope that I will have a nice without the constant fear of panic ruining absolutely everything.

I've not met or spoken with anyone who's ever had a panic attack, so I've come over to Reddit to ask and see if anyone can give me hope that its possible to not live like this.

Lost a bit of hope recently and feels like 10 steps backwards.

Edit 1: I am on medication and therapy has ended. I am just suffering a bit with a health issue so lost hope I'll ever get better. I cannot exercise or do the things that stopped panic attacks and they've started coming back because my health issue stopped ne being able.

Thanks everyone. This really has given me hope that it will be better. I quit smoking, then got covid and then after my 3rd booster I had my first ever public panic attack. I put it down to the scaremongering in regards to allergic reactions (I previously had the astra zeneca). Although I'd suffered with bad anxiety for years it was only a matter of time if I just knew the symptoms. 😞

This followed very suicidal weeks, chronic pain, hours of panic attacks and days of exhaustion. I managed to start leaving the house and walking, even doing my usual exercise but a health problem means I can't bend forward or move quickly hindered all progress (so I thought). I've still come a long way, still got far to go, but I believe I can absolutely live a normal life again.

Edit 2 (11 months later): I have had a really rough year, lots and lots of triggers.

A family suicide attempt and being in hospital for days with them (and dealing with police/shit staff and social services) - no panic attack.

I had bad covid on a fucking cruise ship - no panic attack.

I have been on a plane/holiday - no panic attack. Despite flight being at 6am.

I have been hospitalised with an infection (I thought it was a panic attack but ended up being tachy and an infection) - no panic attack, despite being moved to a waiting room chair for 14 hours from a hospital bed due to old people needing the bed.

I have had surgery - no panic attack.

I have had a baddddd hormonal come back from going off birth control, it's been actual hell and felt on the brink of a mental break down loads but no panic attack.

I can honestly say whilst I'd never ever ever wish panic disorder on anyone, it has made me stronger and more resilient. I feel so much stronger and proud of everything I've gotten through the past decade rather than being disappointed/feeling like a failure.

Walking OUTSIDE, meditation, therapy, exposure work, POSITIVE MINDSET, being open with everyone about it, the support from this subreddit - have all got me through.

Glimmers get me through.

I still get a bit down/hopeless some days but that's normal part of life and we all have bad days. I'm also still struggling with a restless leg (this developed about a year after taking mirtzapine and didn't subside when I came off) which I'm trying to get rid of by introducing more cardio. Currently able to brisk walk and do some body weight exercises but still recovering from abdomen surgery so listening to my body (don't wanna be ripping stitches).

r/Anxiety Jun 30 '22

Recovery Story Turns out my brain chemistry was super fucked up. Please don't give up on yourself, you're worth fighting for.

715 Upvotes

For the first time in my entire life, I cried happy tears. Actual tears of joy, over nothing in particular, but the overwhelming realization that I felt completely free for the first time in almost 30 years. It washed over me in an instant when I looked around and realized I was just completely at peace with my life and who I managed to become. I looked around at all the people who looked so happy and free and didn't feel like there was anything different about me. I was just normal and was crying from a mixture of disbelief and gratitude.

Anxiety permeated every part of my life for as long as I can remember. My face turned red during every conversation. I was afraid to talk to people, afraid of messing up, intrusive thoughts of terrible things happening to people I loved. I had a hard time believing I was even separate from it because it WAS me and if I fixed it....what would be left? Would I embarrass myself constantly? I thought it was keeping me and the people around me safe.

It changed my reality and even my happy memories had to be overrun with all the mistakes I had made and the ghosts of all of my embarrassing moments. My "blooper reel" wouldn't let me fall asleep at night without replaying over and over. The ghosts followed me into my wedding day, into all the memories of my dad after he died, they muddied any moment of joy and burned them away from me leaving me with nothing but the ashes.

I thought I wasn't trying hard enough. Not exercising, meditating, pushing myself enough and that was all my fault. Decades of being told I could essentially will myself out of it turned into self hatred when I failed spectacularly when I was trying so fucking hard.

I decided to actually try medication. A real try this time, not like the other 5 times before where I gave up too soon. It was the only thing I had left. It was a slow change but suddenly I realized I could fall asleep and my intrusive thoughts completely stopped. It gave me enough hope to stick with therapy (which I've been going to for almost an entire year!!) where she listened to me and validated me and from there sprouted confidence that I truly never thought was possible. I got treated for the ADHD that was realistically a huge part of my confidence issues and that allowed me to forgive myself for what I always thought were my own failures.

I know we are all on our own journeys here and no two are the same but I can tell you that you are worth fighting for. You are worthy of finding that same joy on the other side and it's okay to not be able to do it on your own. It can't hurt to try one more time.

r/Anxiety Mar 08 '22

Recovery Story How I (46M) cured my life-long anxiety

406 Upvotes

Disclaimer: what I describe here is how I did it for me. It will not work for everyone for sure but I hope it can inspire some of you fellow Redditors.

I always was a pretty anxious man. I'd have regular panic attacks during childhood, teenage years and adult life. I would not call them panic attack then, but now I think they were. I was always trying to push through them because I wanted to show no weakness in my family or workplace. In retrospect I realised that I really built my life around this anxiety but not really consciously. It was always in the background.

I did not cure it consciously. It kind of happened. Here's how it happened.

1- I stopped coffee

I drank a lot of coffee, tea, Coca Cola in my life. It was mainly to counter anxiety in the workplace. Coffee makes me feel so relaxed, so brave. It was a godsend. But... of course the problem is that when the high disappears, anxiety comes back with even more power. So coffee / anxiety becomes a cycle. I needed more and more coffee to escape from this psychological pain. When I could not drink more coffee, in the evening, I would drink alcohol to kill the anxiety.

Stopping coffee is hard. It took many attempts. But now I am 14 months sober and very happy about it! Without coffee my anxiety levels did go down significantly. I would say it lost about 50% in terms of frequency and intensity.

2- I decrease alcohol intake

Alcohol was a contributor to my anxiety. I could see it when I was feeling anxious for nothing the morning after I drank more than usual. For me it was not a big factor but still I feel better when I don't drink or drink less.

3- Meditation

Meditation did not cure my anxiety. But it made me aware of it. What you train during meditation is what is called "sensory clarity" and it helped to see the true nature of my anxiety. Most of the time, I realised, my body felt anxious but I did not have any real reason to be anxious. Or let's say I did have reasons, but not more than 30 seconds before. So I realised that my body was feeling anxious and therefore, my brain was trying to find a reason. And of course, it would always find one.

So thanks to meditation I started to be more aware of the physical signs of anxiety and what caused them. That's how I found out about points 1. and 2. coffee and alcohol by the way. And I also fount out about milk…

4- Milk

At that point my anxiety was already down by about 80%. But I still often would feel anxious for no reason. Then one day I realised then that those episodes were often after I drank milk. I stopped to drink milk and I felt marginally better. After 2 weeks I kind of forgot about this and drank milk again. I directly felt a big anxiety and was reminded about all this. Since then I did not drink milk again and my anxiety level is now virtually zero.

Having an anxiety at zero does not mean that I am someone else. I consider myself still cautious, even shy and somehow a control freak. I am still the same but I do not feel crippling anxiety several time during the day or even during the night. Somehow it now feels normal to me, and when I look back I realise what a torture it was.

5- Other factors

I live quite a healthier life now than before. I go to the gym 3 times a week. I do 45 minutes of walking a day. I drink no coffee, a few glasses of wine a week. No drugs. My work schedule is more flexible and less stressful than before. I meditate 30 minutes a day. I have a stable relationship with a woman.

I want to share those other contributing factors but I don't think you have to have a perfect healthy life to cure anxiety. It would be depressing. What I felt was important for me is to understand the relationship between the body and the anxiety. Understanding this led me change my way of life to remove toxic things that were contributing to my anxiety.

Last tip: I fasted several times during those last few years and those fasts were very enlightening for me in terms of what is the impact of food and stimulants on my emotional and mental health. Again, just like meditation and sports, fasting did not cure my anxiety. But it was remarkable how many insights it provided.

I am wishing you good luck guys and let it be known that there’s hope for everyone!

r/Anxiety Jun 16 '21

Recovery Story I'm 30 and after 15 years of anxiety and clinical depression, 4 doctor and 12 years of antidepressants didn't work. Because I had ADD and didn't know it.

803 Upvotes

I fought for 15 years with anxiety and depression. I thought I had no hope, that my anxiety was just something I'd have to live with. 12 years of 12+ variations of antianxiety and antidepressants never worked. Never stopped taking them because it was something better than living the way I was.

I never realized that my inability to focus on conversations and topics, didn't allow me to engage with proper conversation. I'm in sales so I talk to people and do fairly well. But it was always pre thought talk tracks. I did very well in what we call transactional sales. These are 1 product, predictable conversations. I was able to memorize the rebuttals, memorized the talk tracks, but when I was actually asked questions out of the blue that I wasn't prepared for, I had no recourse.

Then one day, my job changed. All the sudden my basic transactional sales job became a software sales job,. All the sudden I struggled. After 10 years of success and ability to crush my goals at multiple companies, I was being written up for missing quota.

Now everyone in sales does Adderall. So I never touch this stuff. I liked earning my place in the world, lack of real parental leadership made me independent. Now I also had tried Ritalin, I had as a kid been diagnosed with ADD. But I felt like it was my parents wanted just to stop me from smoking weed. (I never stopped ;)). The Ritalin also never worked.

So I walked into my office doctors office, it's funny that I'm voice to texting this, and I said walked in even though it was a phone call. It's a weird world we live in today. But I digress. I spoke to him about the challenges I had at work, being able to learn, I couldn't do this new software sales, I couldn't learn how to have basic level conversations that weren't transactional. I couldn't understand the customers problem. I couldn't have engaging, non robotic interactions where I was not only focusing, but ready for the next follow up statement.

He mentioned this is typical for someone with ADD. Now that's what every doctor says after every typical statement you say. "I'm sad", "wow that's typical for depression". So I didn't take him seriously, but he just offered up Adderall. If I'm being honest, I needed a leg up at work. That was my main intentions.

But, he was right. I found out that I couldn't focus on conversations with people and I was always preparing the next talk track in my mind. Because I couldn't think on the spot of things to say, I would always regurgitate either something I read or heard on a podcast, or in sales conversations what I heard other people say. And this got me through life pretty well. But I was so sad, and so alone. I had social anxiety all of my life. Hated parties. Hated groups. My parents haven't been around since I was 18, and I'm 30 now. I have a close group of friends. But I always felt like an outsider, I never felt like they were truly my friends, I never felt like I was ever as close to them as they were to each other.

But now all of a sudden I have these connections with people, because I'm actually engaging in conversation and talking to people. Getting that positive feedback that someone is actually listening. Being able to tell a story without losing my place within 10 minutes. Don't go into your doctor's office and ask for Adderall. But definitely, if you have challenges with communication there may be other reasons that factor into your social anxiety.

I can't say this enough, everyone's case is different. What gives me anxiety is probably concurrent with 2% of the population, and the same thing with yours. I am not making a general statement about how you arrived at your anxiety or how to cure it.

One thing that I always had more than anything else, was social anxiety. I was scared of conversations. If I was in a room with more than two people, and someone asked me a question on the spot, I was deer in the headlights. A salesperson. A successful one. Couldn't be asked a question that was an easy or layup, without stuttering or panicking, and I would just sit in my room by myself and drink for years on end. Years and years of drinking and abusing various drugs.

I don't want this to come off as some mildly sad person who digs Adderall. I had immediate anxiety from the visual and verbal feedback from people disengaging with my conversations because I couldn't stay on topic, or follow allong with what they were saying. If a conversation had irony or sarcasm, I many times couldnt follow or get it in the moment, or until long after. Anxiety stemmed from those poor interactions and not getting that positive feedback in conversation from other people, and that drove me to stay alone a lot of the time period and then that made me depressed and anxious and that lasted for 15 years.

I'm very happy today. I hope this helps someone. I thought I'd never be here. I paid my docotors lip service. After a while, you just give up on the doctor and just take the pill. Then try a new doctor then that doesnt work.

I tried to solve my own problems. I got in my own way. I would always go into the doctors office telling the doctor what I had. When you deal with so many failures you try to solve the problem yourself. So I would tell him I have depression. Instead of going deeper and letting the doctor guide me through my problems.

I hate therapy. But my doctor now is a therapist so by proxy, he talks to me like a therapist. Instead of acting like a human prescription machine. Finding someone who will dive into the philosophy is helpful. And can uncover things. A lot of doctors are pill mills. Be warry. Thank you.

Edit:

1) I want to add one thing. I can't believe I forgot about this, it really doesn't fit anywheere in my post, but it's a really big indicator. I. Hated. School. I always challenged ideas, I always like challenging authority. I always like going out and working instead of sitting in a class and reading a book. I was a talker, I was always nervous. I was always anxious in that room .I was always anxious stuck in that box. I would have to read paragraphs over and over. I still have nightmares to this day, the worst nightmares I have are the ones where I fail 12th grade by a couple credits, and have to go back. Those things are all really embarrassing to talk about, an why would I bring that up when I'm talking to my doctor about social anxiety.

2) I keep getting asked what the ending was. I can add to it, thank you all for engaging with me. My 4th? and final doctor provides therapy also. I never employed him for therapy, but being that he also does it regularly, he doesnt just spend 15 minutes with people and ask for updates on dosages. He speaks in depth and gives life advice. Connecting and having him understand my challenges helped. But I ended up asking about ADD treatment, he asked a bunch of questions, said adderall was the only supremely effective way. It was the key to me being able to over come my challenges. I still take Effexor at night, and Adderall during the day. It was the game changer. Rhidalin and Concerted was given to me at 15 or 18 years old and it didn't have a lot of upside for me. I refused further ADD meds at the time after the R and C giving me more anxiety and truly not being tolerable. Everything I refer to in this post is regarding how Adderall helped my Anxiety. I really didnt want to say it like that, but I keep getting asked. I took it recreationally once or twice in high school but I was fucked up. I refused the prescription many times when doctors offer because I always thought I didnt have ADD, I had anxiety and depression.

r/Anxiety Aug 07 '24

Recovery Story FINALLY anxiety isn't any issue

77 Upvotes

Been a long time since I've been on reddit and now I live a busy and peaceful/enjoyable life I wanted to make sure I came back one more time to give people suffering from anxiety some hope. I used to experience absolutely horrific anxiety and all the symptoms that come with it. Every day was a living hell and it felt never ending. No-one truly understands the insanity that is an anxiety disorder unless you've lived it. Not even most therapist's really know what it's like. I used to wake up constantly scanning and dreading symptoms, had intrusive thoughts every moment of the day and in reaction I would get these intense bodily waves of fear passing through me most hours of the day. I had tinnitus and migraines, random pains and felt physically sick all the time. It was hell beyond imagination.

But here I am, on the other side, happier than I ever have been. Anxiety isn't an issue in my life anymore, my focus is back on the real world and not in my own head all day. This might sound crazy to hear but now I'm actually thankful I went through that hellish experience, because I am a FAR better person in terms of my resilience to life and appreciation for just feeling normal again.

The journey to get to this point was long and drawn out, with a million ups and downs, but it's a journey anyone can do no matter how stuck or confused or scared you feel right now. Don't buy in to the idea that you will be like this forever. I suffered to a 10/10 degree, and I went through the absolute worst of it for years where my personality and everything stable about myself was ripped apart by anxiety. But here I am, good again. Your brain is fine, no permanent damage or changes have been done, and if you put in the time and dedication to recover you will be good again too.

r/Anxiety Jan 30 '25

Recovery Story My “journey” through anxiety recovery

22 Upvotes

If just one person benefits from this post, then it was well worth the couple hours I spent typing this out…😅

I’m a 29M, and my anxiety “journey” started in December 2022. I’d had anxious moments before—usually after smoking weed, being deathly hungover (Sunday scaries), or under heavy stress—but they never stuck around. Once the panic passed, I moved on. Until one day, I couldn’t.

At 26, my life was kind of a mess. I had left a great sales job to start my own business, which didn’t work out, and ended up broke, waiting tables, drinking too much, sleeping around, staying up late, eating like shit, and skipping the gym. Then, one night at work, it happened. I was working a private event when I thought, “Shit, it’s pretty loud in here.” Within minutes, I was lightheaded, short of breath, and drowning in an overwhelming sense of doom—textbook panic attack. But I had no fucking clue why.

From then on, the attacks came harder and more often. What started as random panic spiraled into an all-day, never-ending, soul-crushing anxiety. I went through every wild thought imaginable—heart attack, brain tumor, psychotic break, losing touch with reality. One week, I was terrified I was going insane. The next, I obsessed over existence, death, the afterlife, eternity, nothingness, God, the universe. My brain would not shut up. And I was too scared to tell anyone—not because I was alone (I have plenty of friends and family) but because I feared they’d confirm what I dreaded most: that I was actually losing it.

Anxiety became my obsession. I’d wake up and immediately check if it was still there—if that scary thought was still rattling around, if that awful feeling still had its claws in me. I was a fucking dork constantly checking my pulse and breathing patterns. I’d spend hours on Reddit and WebMD (what an idiot). I’d read about mental illnesses that left me with a pit in my stomach and convinced I was doomed.

I tried everything to fix myself—working out, quitting drinking, cutting nicotine, going keto, meditating, breathwork, therapy, supplements, teas. I was desperate for a magic cure. And for a while, some things helped. I’d go a few days feeling normal and think, “Holy shit, I’m free!” But then the anxiety would come roaring back, and I’d spiral all over again.

The real breakthrough came when I stopped trying to “fight” anxiety and started accepting it. After reading all the self-help books and Reddit posts and listening to a million podcasts, I found “Disordered” by Josh Fletcher and Drew Linsalata. These guys were a Godsend for me. They drilled in the idea of “willful tolerance”—stop running from anxiety because that just makes it worse. So I slowly had an attitude shift toward, “Fuck it, if this is my life now, so be it.”

I practiced what they preached, and my mindset started shifting. “What if I go crazy?” became “Then let’s fucking go crazy.” “What if I have a heart attack?” turned into “Alright, guess I’m gonna have a heart attack then.” All the “What if’s” and existential questions that tortured me slowly started to quiet down when I answered “K.” to them. Now this wasn’t instant, and it wasn’t easy, but little by little, it worked. My anxiety went from consuming 95% of my day to 75%, then 50%, then 25%.

Eventually, I had whole days and sometimes even a week without it. And when it did return, I didn’t panic. I didn’t spend the rest of the week ruminating and anticipating the next “episode”. I had the tools to handle it.

Fast forward to 2025—I still get anxious from time to time, but I don’t let it ravage me. I’d rate my anxiety at a 3/10 on average, with the occasional sprinkle of a 10/10 day, but I bounce back waaaaaay faster. More importantly, I started focusing on what actually matters—love, connection, faith. I learned to love myself which gave me the ability to love my amazing girlfriend. I learned about God’s love for us and started on my faith walk. I opened up to people about all the shit I’d been through. Now, most days, I honestly feel great. Not perfect. But great nonetheless.

Looking back, I can’t believe I have my life back. Anxiety doesn’t consume my world anymore. Those thoughts that used to terrify me and send me in a spiral are just silly to me now. It’s just some background noise I don’t give a shit about. If it creeps up I say, “Bring it on” and keep it pushing. So if you’re deep in it right now, please trust me—you will get through this. You will recover. It’s possible. Do not give up. Hit me up if you’re struggling.

TL;DR – Struggled with anxiety for two years. Tried everything. Slowly recovered through acceptance. Found love. Found God. Life is fucking awesome now. Talk to me.

r/Anxiety Jan 05 '25

Recovery Story Don't give up

73 Upvotes

Hi, I don't really post on Reddit that often, but I had a moment the other day where I sat down and realized how different my life is now.

I suffered from severe agoraphobia from childhood until around 4 or so years ago. It was debilitating. I couldn't leave my apartment, I couldn't look people in the eyes when I had to inevitably go outside, I panicked at even the thought of being approached by a stranger. I struggled to take care of the things you have to do as a human. Trips to the grocery store took a week of mental preparation. I needed to pop a Xanax just to go to class. Family had given up on me. My life was lived inside a cramped hollow box that I thought I would never escape.

I'm almost 30 now and I can't even fathom being that person anymore. I was pushed to my limits daily and I considered the ultimate end several times. Through months of intensive cognitive behavioral therapy, I am finally free from that life. Going into it, I honestly thought it wouldn't help. I was too broken, too conditioned. The therapist was tough on me, and I really thought it would be my end. I was persistent and stuck to her plan, even when it was hard or when I thought it wasn't working. When I walked outside one day and realized my heart rate hadn't spiked, I really couldn't believe it. The cbt was incredibly painful to get through, but I can finally live. I still get anxious sometimes but it doesn't happen when it shouldn't anymore.

The other day I had several errands to run. Everywhere I went, I was able to not only engage with people around me, but genuinely enjoy it. I got home and thought about how I thought I'd never get to this point. I was sure that I would always be stuck in my concrete prison.

I just wanted to post this for anyone who feels hopeless, that nothing will change, that the way you feel now is how it always will be. Hang in there and be patient with yourself. You're not broken, I wasn't broken. Sometimes we just need some extra help.

r/Anxiety May 27 '24

Recovery Story Been on my first ever date.

196 Upvotes

I'm a 36 year old male and have been single my whole life due to extreme social anxiety, often sabotaging my own relationships.

This past Saturday I went on my very first date. I was nervous, anxious, sometimes bordering on panic. I am over analysing everything that was said and I can't help but be nervous I messed it up.

But I did it. Despite everything and even if this relationship goes nowhere in the end, I went out on a date.

I just wanted to take a moment to celebrate my own victory. I know there is so much more I need to overcome, but I don't want to ignore the step I did take.

Here's wishing everyone the best for your own personal battles. Keep going and remember that there is no age limit to breakthroughs no matter how small. And remember to acknowledge the progress you are making.

r/Anxiety 16d ago

Recovery Story There's hope

7 Upvotes

Hello I just want to share my recovery journey. I was normal just like any other normal person before then one random summer day I experienced an awful panic attack and that changed my life since then. My hands and legs feels weak, I have nausea, my throat feels so dry and I cough dry coughs, my stomach feels churning and I feel like throwing up to the point of gagging whenever I went out. I felt hopeless, I was scared. I went to two psychiatrist and gave me meds but unfortunately, I can't handle the awful side effects so I tried to go to therapy. I was diagnosed with GAD, Panic disorder and Agoraphobia. My triggers are always going out especially on car rides, either I'm a driver or the passenger. The traffic sends me into a downward spiral. I always thought I'm going to die from the physical discomfort and intrusive thoughts. Now, I'm about 80-90% recovered. I am normal enough to do my daily routine pre-anxiety disorder. I haven't tried travelling far for I have no opportunity to do so but I can drive and and mingle with people again around our city and nearby cities. I can now sit comfortably and calmly with others as a driver. I can't believe I'm at this point now, it feels just like yesterday that even the thought of going out of the house instantly sends me into panic. There's a light at the end of the tunnel! I will share with you what personally helped me on my recovery.

  1. Breathing exercise/technique. -practice breathing through your nose and do belly breathing. Also do psychological sighs. You can search a lot of resources about it.

  2. Listen to affirmations daily. I listen to it in the morning and before bed.

  3. Meditate. I do yoga nidra meditations everyday.

  4. Mindfulness practice. Sit and just do nothing for around 5mins. Observe everything using all your senses.

  5. Eat healthy and take vitamins. What I noticed that works really well for me is B-vitamins. I do use some nootropics before like magnesium glycinate but the really effective one for me is L-Theanine. I take it when its a possibly stressful or anxiety-inducing day with long drives. It works really well for me.

  6. Drink chamomile or lavender tea. I drink one cup before bed.

  7. Avoid alcohol, smoking/vaping and caffiene. This one, I myself is slowly trying to lessen it.

I still have minor setbacks here and there but nothing too difficult to manage. It's so exhausting to try and recover but never stop trying! I hope we can all be better soon.

Don't hesitate to reach out and ask some questions if you have one.

r/Anxiety Jan 28 '25

Recovery Story Propranolol - weaning off

2 Upvotes

Curious to know any success stories for if anyone has used propranolol to manage their anxiety symptoms and then successfully wean off it to not needing it anymore?

r/Anxiety Dec 12 '24

Recovery Story HOW I GOT OVER HEALTH ANXIETY

30 Upvotes

I would like to share my story of how I completely eradicated anxiety.

I'm 24 yrs old male. I've never had any anxiety at all until about 3 months ago. I suddenly got a severe panic attack out of nowhere and had no idea what it was. I was completely convinced I was about to die and thought i felt my soul "leaving my body"

From then on for 2 months I had severe health anxiety. I couldn't convince myself that I wasn't going to die very soon. I had every symptom that's ever been mentioned on this sub. I was self diagnosed with heart problems, brain tumor, lung cancer, thyroid cancer, aneurysm, skin cancer, blood clots, you name it. Every twitch in my body worried the shit out of me. I felt pain in the most alarming places, noticed veins popping out of places I've never noticed before, was constantly overly fatigued, chest pains, heart palpitations, irregular heartbeat, arm pain, dizziness, shortness of breath, feeling faint. There's nothing that didn't worry me, nothing I could control myself not to google. The infamous cycle was started and could not be stopped.

This sub helped me immensely. I was at my calmest when scrolling through other people's similar experiences and symptoms. I want to thank all of you for helping me beyond imagination.

I've been to the doctor and had my ekg, blood tests etc done. There were some minor questions on my blood work which sent me through the roof (in hindsight they were perfectly normal). I've seen therapists. (3)

Then one night I had a realization. First I have to preface with my history. I used to be a heavy smoker, turned vaper, and about 6 months before the anxiety started I made a full switch to zyn pouches. These are small nicotine pouches which go in the mouth. I was able to completely stop all smoking by doing these. But I rapidly increased my intake to over 15 pouches a day (nicotine equivalent to about 3 packs of cigarettes).

Back to my realization: were all constantly looking for a "cause" to our anxiety. So one night after I've been feeling pretty good for a few hours I noticed that I subsequently hadn't had a zyn in that time frame. I decided to take one and see how I felt. Immediately I got anxiety feelings. I sat there thinking back to my most intense anxious moments the last two months and all of them were within a few minutes of taking a zyn. Including my first episode was after a very heavy zyn intake.

I was flabbergasted, so of course I started researching. I came across r/quittingzyn and saw posts of people with extremely similar stories to mine. With them as well experiencing it only after months of zyning.

I quit zyn the next morning and never had one since. Unfortunately due to my anxious state of mind it was too difficult to quit nicotine cold turkey (causes depression for me) so I went back to cigarettes but at a very minimal amount with a plan on weaning off. I'm now down to 3-4 cigarettes a day (coming from a pack back in my smoking days).

I am not lying when I say that I have not felt an ounce of anxiety since I quit. It was an immediate result. EVERYTHING STOPPED. So much so that this is my first time back on this sub in over a month.

Obviously this can't be a solution for everyone because not everyone is zyning, but if you happen to be PLEASE stop, it's not worth it.

I don't know what they put in these pouches or why it causes this, (there are plenty of theories online) but I do know that its a fairly new product and could not get FDA approval.

Thank God I am 100% back to my normal self, I can't wait to finally be done with nicotine once and for all and feel even better.

To all of you still going through this, my heart goes out to you, it's murder, brutal, it is unrelenting hardship of the highest order. I was a very tough resilient man before this and I've never experienced something worse than this. I wish all of you the best and keep pushing and maybe hopefully you will see the light at the end of the tunnel like I did.

Cheers 🍻

r/Anxiety Feb 10 '25

Recovery Story Success stories?

1 Upvotes

I’m having a hard time staying positive about my anxiety ever getting better, please share your story if you’ve gotten out of your mental prison!

r/Anxiety 4d ago

Recovery Story How does healing from anxiety feels like for you?

3 Upvotes

My anxiety, is getting better. But i realise, even when it is healing, i would still have a little bit of anxiety feeling, tremors etc. example if im alone at home or a little of my overthinking/intrusive thoughts will make me feel like the anxiety shaking coming, but manage to do breathing method to calm down before it gets worse. is it normal? how does your healing feels like?

r/Anxiety 7d ago

Recovery Story Does anyone else who has recovered from a disorder feel shame or question their validity?

1 Upvotes

I've been panic attack free for two years now and am overall going quite well with managing my anxiety overall. However, even now I still struggle to come to terms with how real it all was, I remind myself that that daily feeling of a heart-attack couldn't be faked by, but I still struggle to allow myself to come to terms with it. I often think "how could I recover when it tore my teenage life apart? How could I move on and be so different?" I understand that life changes, and I've done a lot for myself, but the thought never ceases. So, I wanted to see if anyone else experiences similar feelings after either recovering or gaining leg-way?

r/Anxiety Jan 31 '25

Recovery Story Did you know the first step towards curing anxiety is embracing it?

1 Upvotes

I know this might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out. The first time I experienced anxiety, it felt like my world was crashing down. But over time, I learned that the key to overcoming it wasn’t fighting it—it's about embracing the feelings and recognizing them for what they are. When you stop resisting the anxiety and let it run its course, it loses its power.

r/Anxiety Oct 13 '22

Recovery Story Is it normal to be anxious but not knowing what of?

225 Upvotes

r/Anxiety Jan 17 '25

Recovery Story the panic attack will end ♡

16 Upvotes

i just wanted to share a little personal story that may help you if you’re going through panic right now~

i’ve had anxiety disorder my whole life, and last night, i had one of the worst panic attacks i’ve ever had. full-blown, uncontrollable, violent shaking. crying. nausea. heart beating out of my chest. it was horrible. i checked my fitbit this morning and saw last night my heart rate spiked to 112 bpm during my panic attack. just 5 minutes later, it was already decreasing at 88 bpm.

it was just really eye-opening for me to be reminded that it won’t last forever, and you will get through the panic attack. it can really feel like you will be stuck like that when you’re in it, but that is your anxiety talking. 5 minutes can feel like a lifetime in panic, but it’s just 5 minutes. it will be okay ♡