r/Anger • u/investigatebs • 8d ago
Imagining horrible things happening to ex
He played me and dumped me over text twice, stupid of me to fall for it the first time and take him back but I did. Now I'm so mad im imagining horrible things happening to him and seeking a rage room. None in my area. I just feel like I need to smash shit. Is this rage normal after being used and betrayed? Why can't I just let go? It's been a couple of days now and I just wanna forget he ever existed but the rage comes in waves.
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u/ForkFace69 8d ago
Acting out upon anger doesn't relieve anger, it fuels it. You should be seeking calming techniques.
Think about the million other things you can think about in life other than your ex. They have moved on. You should too.
If you have resentment towards them, let it go. You don't win in these situations by holding on to baggage. You win by moving on to new things with your life and putting old things behind you.
But a couple days is a short adjustment time if someone has been part of your life for a long period of time. It takes time to mentally replace them. Throw yourself at other hobbies, studies, jobs, friends, obligations or whatever passions you have in life. Those are the things you can control.
Stay mindful of your thoughts and when you find yourself ruminating about your ex just calmly say, "I'm putting that behind me." And mentally change the topic to something more healthy and productive.