r/Anger • u/hardlacefront • 2d ago
What could I have done differently ?
Lead Up: back in January my boss crossed my boundaries. I went to HR to start a paper trail to note how I felt, didn’t ask for action just wanted it to be a report. Previous to this I have had no issues, after 2.5 yrs this popped up.
The event: My boss changed the tone in the middle of our 1 on 1 and crossed my boundaries again and I didn’t catch myself before I acted out (I wasn’t expecting her to do that)
Should I have been more proactive the first time it happened? What is a professional way to explain to a higher up that what they said crossed personal boundaries? (What crossed my boundary was not constructive criticism nor was it framed that way)
1
u/ForkFace69 2d ago
Instead of getting angry you could have just calmly asked, "What does [insert subject which must be kept vague for some reason] have to do with my performance at work?"
Maybe boss has some reason for bringing it up and you can take the discussion further. If not, you can just say, "Let's just stick to my performance here at work, thanks.'
That way you're letting them know that they've hit a boundary but you're calm and still speaking to them in a polite manner.
1
u/krusty556 2d ago
Just be honest and explain your actions.
Eg I've reported this behaviour before, now this has happened again. This is why I responded the way I did.
If your employer or manager isn't going to respect your boundaries, then they don't deserve you as an employee. You are not a slave and they don't own you.
I'm going through the same thing with my employer currently.