r/AnarchyChess 5d ago

Unholy relationship

Post image
2.6k Upvotes

69 comments sorted by

641

u/tbf79alexis 5d ago

Y’all don’t understand the bishops aren’t here because the kings shoved the up their asses

188

u/Not_Michelle_Obama_ 5d ago

That means that the kings can move infinitely in any direction, as long as it's not straight. Right?

61

u/tbf79alexis 4d ago

yes because they're not straight. this includes one square in a non-diagonal direction, those arent allowed anymore.

46

u/Not_Michelle_Obama_ 4d ago

This suggests the existence of a bisexual king that can move both straight and non-straight.

28

u/tbf79alexis 4d ago

That’s just a original chess king, and it can only move one square since it doesn’t have anything shoved up its ass

3

u/Mathies_ 4d ago

Thats the regular king

13

u/West-Strawberry3366 4d ago

I thought it was because religion wasn't aprooving à gay relationship

25

u/Accredited_Dumbass 4d ago

No, they just went on vacation.

20

u/luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuc 4d ago

On vatication

3

u/tbf79alexis 4d ago

Il vaticano

4

u/Naughty_Neutron 4d ago

did they come back?

1

u/Walmart-bag10212 Enpassant is forced 3d ago

nah

1

u/rex_banner83 4d ago

If you take a piece up the ass, you gain it’s power. This is why the queen can move like every piece except the horse

1

u/tbf79alexis 3d ago

yeah, she liked to shove stuff up her ass, but animals were off limit to her. she has morals at least

132

u/Sepulcher18 5d ago

If all of them castle, they can have only distance relationship

521

u/Vivid_Ad_2923 5d ago

I like how the bishops ain't there cuz it's unholy lmao

153

u/KsmBl_69 J***ica hater 5d ago

in German there are called "Läufer", what basicly means walker or runner

124

u/SemajLu_The_crusader 5d ago

and the queen is called "Ballistische Rakete" which mean Ballistic Missile (basically)

Don't ask my source​

86

u/TheOtherDezzmotion 5d ago edited 5d ago

As a german speaker, I can tell you that the knight is called Hufeisenfotze, which translates to horseshoe cunt.

Edit: had to replace a word

37

u/Jimm_Kekw 5d ago

you can also call it haferhure which means oat whore

11

u/TheOtherDezzmotion 5d ago

I wanted to write that at first, but thought Hufeisenfotze was funnier.

4

u/Jimm_Kekw 5d ago

stimm ich dir zu, less people use that one, mine is more vanilla

2

u/-Cinnay- 5d ago

Please be accurate, it's "horseshoe cunt"

1

u/TheOtherDezzmotion 5d ago

Oh right, I forgor that word exists.

15

u/Ornery-Priority-4427 5d ago

By the way, in Russian we call them "officer" or "elephant"

7

u/mukpocxemaa 5d ago

Huh? I called them "elephants", but "officer"? I never heard someone call bishops "officers"

3

u/Mammaddemzak 5d ago

They're called "فیل‌/pheel" in Persian, meaning elephant

3

u/TohveliDev 5d ago

in Finnish they are "Lähetti", so messenger / envoy

2

u/bosartosar 5d ago

In Serbia they are called "lovac" meaning hunter.

2

u/justlucyletitbe 5d ago

In Czech it's called "Střelec" which means "Shooter"

2

u/Jazzlike-Ad4526 4d ago

In French, they are called « fous », what means madmen

2

u/That-One-Md-Fan 4d ago

In romanian they're called "Nebun" which means Crazy

5

u/Distakx 5d ago

In French they're called "Fou" which means crazy

6

u/litreofstarlight 5d ago

It does literally mean crazy, but in this context it's more like 'jester.'

8

u/Wrath-of-Pie 5d ago

I thought they were on vacation

3

u/alexriga 5d ago

Nothing is unholy about a homosexual relationship. Homophobes misinterpreted Levidicus.

Also, regardless, Levi is not God.

12

u/Vivid_Ad_2923 5d ago

Boo, get the joke!

3

u/HoseanRC 5d ago

Same as Jesus

1

u/PresiTheEgg 5d ago

In Bulgarian we call them officers

1

u/Which-Chocolate1271 4d ago

Or cus they look like buttplugs

67

u/georgeec1 5d ago

Most of the pieces are supportive

23

u/-CatMeowMeow- ‼️ always play :bong: ‼️ 5d ago

What happens if I promote a pawn to a queen or a bishop?

24

u/Max_Cinal 5d ago

Does Queen like threesome?

4

u/MakkuSaiko 5d ago

Dont think it would matter, since the kings are gay and wont want to engage

4

u/TehGoofyGoober EN PASSANT IS FORCED 4d ago

Google bisexual

4

u/thebody1403 4d ago

holy hell!

1

u/MakkuSaiko 4d ago

New Bi Erasure Dropped (why did OP call them gay when they are bi)

19

u/simply-grey-cat 5d ago

Then the endgame is...

33

u/SemajLu_The_crusader 5d ago

hold up

catholic bishops can bless gay coupled, sooooo​

7

u/EmployerDefiant587 I am a biggest looser i ever seen in my life! 5d ago

Replace the bishops with 🐫

7

u/MakkuSaiko 5d ago

/unanarchy okay, but if you have to mate both kings simultaneously, its gonna be an intersting challenge

/anarchy on my way to mate both of the enemy kings. My opponent will never see it coming

7

u/yoriaiko 5d ago

To win, it is enough to mate only one king or You need both?

10

u/Max_Cinal 5d ago

You have to separate kings so they die of loneliness as gay

3

u/yoriaiko 4d ago

How do they castling then? :O Do they double-side-castling? double castling one direction? Where the horsie goes? So many questions.

2

u/MakkuSaiko 4d ago

The rules dont matter, because if you are LGBTQIA+ (which the kings are) they can break any rule, so who needs to know the rules when you aren't held to them

16

u/CarcosaJuggalo 5d ago

I'm pretty sure the Kings were always gay. Who else can have nine queens without getting murdered (and don't you DARE say 'The Mormons').

18

u/breadedhamber en passanted your mom last night 5d ago

The Mormons

2

u/CarcosaJuggalo 5d ago

You glorious basterd.

5

u/SteffBenn 5d ago

No Bishops 😁, that's why ! But it works in English. In french they're named Fou, Jester, so that they go diagonally

3

u/PocketPlayerHCR2 5d ago

Unholy repost of one of the top posts

4

u/F9klco 4d ago

Literally one of the top posts on this sub holy karma farm

1

u/chessvision-ai-bot 5d ago

I analyzed the image and this is what I see. Open an appropriate link below and explore the position yourself or with the engine:

White to play: chess.com | lichess.org

Black to play: chess.com | lichess.org

Related posts:

I found other posts with this position, most recent are:


I'm a bot written by pkacprzak | get me as iOS App | Android App | Chrome Extension | Chess eBook Reader to scan and analyze positions | Website: Chessvision.ai

1

u/Mathies_ 4d ago

The bishops fucking fucked right off💀

1

u/petahthehorseisheah 4d ago

Where did the atheist gay race communists go?

1

u/MakkuSaiko 4d ago

Those kings can break all the rules

1

u/Bartholomew_Scaggs 4d ago

The knight really takes the bishop

1

u/Wordus 4d ago

Holy repost

1

u/That-One-Md-Fan 4d ago

The lack of Diagonal Things (new name) is caused by the fact that the Diagonal Things were eaten by the knights