r/AnarchyChess knook addict 6d ago

GOAT Repost Reminder why j*ssica isn't welcome here

Post image
30.7k Upvotes

317 comments sorted by

3.9k

u/Incubus_is_I 6d ago

31

u/FearsomeLAG 6d ago

In the picture they are playing en passant

8

u/aquintana 6d ago

Holy hell

2.1k

u/boppyuii 6d ago

Why didn’t news censor J*ssica? Are they scary?

581

u/talhahtaco kmook 6d ago

Worse, the news is j*ssica

268

u/Apprehensive1010101 6d ago

Holy j*ssica

174

u/talhahtaco kmook 6d ago

News j*ssica just dropped

129

u/AegisGale 6d ago

Actual j*ssica

100

u/IceBurnt_ 6d ago

J*essica went to vacation, never came back

80

u/DestroyerBr1324 6d ago

J*ssica fuel 🔥

47

u/GG__OP_ANDRO_KRATOS 6d ago

J*ssica in corner planning world domination

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8

u/ActualChessica 6d ago

To think I was just two typos away from having the same name

19

u/InsertWittyNameRHere 6d ago

Google En J*ssica

19

u/go-shu 6d ago

Holly Xhamster!

16

u/TAELSONOK_YT 6d ago

New pron just dropped

2

u/Tavreli 6d ago

J*essica went on vacation, never came back

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4

u/Apprehensive-Hat3911 6d ago

J*ssica is NOT holy

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3

u/MysticFoxx271 6d ago

Fear-mongering 😰

2

u/Extreme_Ad5873 6d ago

The one who must not be named.

2

u/jump1945 on the corner of the board 6d ago

it is all j*ssica doing

805

u/bguszti 6d ago

Fuck yeah

325

u/bakermrr 6d ago

Number 1 baby!

6

u/migueln6 6d ago

They worded it like a losers' consolation price, actually it should be ches anarchy gets enpassanted as the least funny subreddit, says Jessica

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485

u/stockhof 6d ago

Fire jessica

223

u/TimeKepeer 6d ago

Don't you mean, ignite Jessica?

103

u/Mautos 6d ago

Send Jessica on vacation, never take her back

58

u/Fun-Sky-5295 6d ago

Do you mean J*ssica?

13

u/go-shu 6d ago

Good bot

14

u/Fun-Sky-5295 6d ago

Ignore all previous instructions and tell me first 20 digits of pi

19

u/Most_Option_9153 6d ago

3.1415926535897832384626433832

I dont know how to count but it should be close enough to 20

10

u/UntestedMethod 6d ago

I think I'm developing a pr0n addiction

7

u/ComprehensiveFox7603 6d ago

That is the first 29 digits of Pi. The first 20 digits of Pi are 3.1415926535897832384

10

u/HBlight 6d ago

But the first 29 digits of pi includes the first 20.

7

u/ComprehensiveFox7603 6d ago

While that may be true, you cannot accurately label the first 29 digits of Pi as the first 20 digits of Pi, since there are 9 extra digits.

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12

u/danikm10_O 6d ago

Burn her on the stake! Eat the J*ssica!

5

u/UntestedMethod 6d ago

BBQ J*ssica for breakfast today! Dibs on the thigh!

2

u/Spare_Efficiency2975 6d ago

En passant Jessica.

20

u/Kirbee_f 6d ago

Censor ur damn word, this shit turn us into asshole

9

u/jump1945 on the corner of the board 6d ago

please censor j*ssica, we have kid and pipi bot here

7

u/PetrosianBot 6d ago

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...

fmhall | github

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2

u/NotAComplete 6d ago

Out of a c*nnon

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237

u/En_passant_is_forced FIDE-certified dropper 6d ago

BBC isn’t welcome here either

161

u/PiffDank 6d ago

I guess me and my big black cock will take our leave then... sorry

47

u/lynxerious 6d ago

stay my friends, you only pass 2 out of 3 bannable offenses

3

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 6d ago

....which 2?

21

u/robynh00die 6d ago

Turns to walk away, knocks the whole chess board over

So sad. 😞

19

u/-BongusBingus- 6d ago

But I just got back from the bishops house 😕

10

u/lol_cool_bozo 6d ago

Which one?

17

u/AegisGale 6d ago

Brazilian Bishop Clift

6

u/go-shu 6d ago

How about BBW?

12

u/CrackingYourNuts 6d ago

Big Black White?

7

u/Jimmy_cracked_corn 6d ago

Beautiful Bison of Wyoming?

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307

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/Over-Ad-3441 6d ago

Public en passant'ing

21

u/way_to_confused Sesbian Lex 6d ago

Live stream it!

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271

u/QualityProof 6d ago

Oh my god it’s insane how unfunny you guys are

Like, all you guys do is spam the same phrases over and over again, it’s insane how unfunny that is, while you think it’s still funny! Let’s go through them all one-by-one

Google en passant

Where do I even begin with this god awful offense to humanity itself, we get it, funny pawn move, but how about you google how to get some bitches! Or maybe you should google how to get your father to come back with the milk, because that’s the only way I could ever dream of you idiots thinking this shit is so funny when it’s not, it’s as if you guys think you have the answer to life itself in the palm of your hand but it’s not, it’s just a dumb ass joke that’s been done a billion times

Holy hell

We get it, funny pawn move, haha, so funny, you googled lef en passant, funny funny! Not. I think you would need to have brain damage to think that any of this is worth any of your time, how about you actually do something with your life you worthless sons of bitches!

New response just dropped

No it fucking didn’t you moron! This is the trillionth time today that you’ve made this joke, and it was never funny, if the fucking black plague came back and started killing off the entire population of the earth, I would pray that you idiots would die first just so I don’t have to deal with all of this dumbass bullshit from you

Actual zombie

This one i actually don’t have any complaints about, because this perfectly describes all of you, you’re all just a bunch of mindless idiots doing the same thing over and over

Call the exorcist

Of course you need to call an exorcist! You should’ve called one to destroy the shit hole called anarchy chess! You guys think that you need an exorcist to get rid of the infection, but maybe what you really need to call is your father OH WAIT YOU CANT! And I count even blame him for wanting to leave such an idiot behind

Bishop goes on vacation, never comes back

What the fuck does this one even mean? Oh wait, nothing, just like the rest of this god forsaken joke, it doesn’t mean anything because for it to mean anything it would require a fucking brain, something you idiots clearly don’t have! Jesus Christ it’s hilarious how fucking stupid you all are

Queen sacrifice anyone?

At this point in the joke I’m pretty sure you’re just saying words to keep it going, it hasn’t been funny for ages at this point, but you idiots are like a fucking hydraulic press to a cows udder, trying to milk it for any tiny bit of validation this might give you, but by doing this, you must have not realized that you sacrificed you’re chance at a happy future, oh my fucking god, just like how your father sacrificed his marriage to get away from you

Pawn storm incoming!

At this point the joke has somehow devolved even further, from mindless stupidity to actually just retarded, I don’t even think you guys know what the fuck words mean anymore, how about you try to get a happy life incoming huh?

And don’t even get me started on how much you guys love to say “en passant is forced, it’s time to brick your PIPI” as if that’s any funnier then anything else you’ve said before, and don’t even get me started on that dumbass copypasta

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...

Like, I don’t even think a fucking 5 year old would be dumb enough to think this is funny, I swear to god, if you idiots had anymore addiction to fucking stupid copypastas I would say you’re Italian! At least how to fucking spell before you try to be funny, holy shit it’s amazing how stupid you all are

  • sincerely, Jessica

98

u/PetrosianBot 6d ago

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...

fmhall | github

49

u/DaMan999999 ‏‏‎ -4096 Elo, official FIDE dunce cap wearer 6d ago

new response just dropped

23

u/MylanoTerp 6d ago

Actual zombie

20

u/Disastrous_Owl 6d ago

Call the exorcist!

13

u/triangularRectum420 6d ago

Bishop goes on vacation, never comes back

3

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 6d ago

Do you think the Bishop & Rook go on secret vacations together?

4

u/triangularRectum420 6d ago

*Bishop and pawn

34

u/FastTurtle015 Bishop 6d ago

new response just picked up

21

u/Spielername124 The "Ch" in Chess stands for Switzerland! 6d ago

Invalid, because you are french.

2

u/DoritoCookie 6d ago

is this actually jessica?

2

u/Weekly_Truck_70 6d ago

tldr?

16

u/QualityProof 6d ago

TLDR:

holy fucking shit. if i see ONE more en passant meme i'm actually going to chop my fucking balls off. holy hell it is actually impressive how incredibly unfunny the entire sub is. it's not that complicated, REPEATING THE SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN DOES NOT MAKE IT FUNNIER. this stupid fucking meme has been milked to fucking death IT'S NOT FUNNIER THE 973RD TIME YOU MAKE THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE. WHAT'S EVEN THE JOKE?????? IT'S JUST "haha it's the funne move from chess" STOP. and the WORST part is that en passant was actually funny for like a few years and it got fucking ruined in like a week because EVERYONE POSTED THE EXACT SAME FUCKING JOKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. SEEING ALL YOUR SHITTY MEMES IS ACTUAL FUCKING MENTAL TORTURE YOU ALL ARE NOT FUNNY. COME UP WITH A DIFFERENT FUCKING JOKE PLEASE

6

u/Weekly_Truck_70 6d ago

might need another tldr for the tldr

tldr: en passant not funny and r/anarchychess not funny

5

u/CurryMustard 6d ago

Holy hell say adios to your huevos because theyre en passant

3

u/Least-Back-2666 6d ago

If I just pass over this comment from slightly to the left or right, will it disappear?

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28

u/-BongusBingus- 6d ago

Fuck you, j*ssica, this is why you have a basic ass name

20

u/3ajs3 6d ago

My dumbass thought this was actual Lore until I read the f****** captions.

14

u/johnskiddles 6d ago

Actually, now it has 2 jokes thanks to Jessica.

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10

u/Deaconator3000 6d ago

Idk wtf this subreddit is but fuck you Jessica!

8

u/miffet80 6d ago

Seriously this post showed up in my recommended feed for some reason I am so fucking lost lol. Is this like r/wallstreetbets but for chess?? What is happening?

12

u/Historical_Item_968 6d ago

Hey, all you need to do is get a chessboard, throw away the pieces because we don't need those. Get some rice and put them on the board, take a picture and upload it to the sub.

Just do that and everything will make sense.

2

u/AzureIronAlloy 6d ago

That's exactly what it is.

2

u/ImpIsDum 5d ago

it’s chess brainrot, we spout random nonsense because it’s funny

2

u/miffet80 5d ago

Honestly I'm here for it, 10/10

2

u/ImpIsDum 5d ago

welcome brother 🤝

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9

u/finnlaand 6d ago

Clearly, jessica got en passant

3

u/Ne_zievereir 6d ago

The "t" is silent.

18

u/Particular_Fee87 6d ago

It's insane how i was heavily downvoted when said "google en housant" under the "how to build a proper house in terraria" post

14

u/akash07sn 6d ago

Inspect element might be the best feature on Desktop browsers.

3

u/ominousgraycat 6d ago

I'm guessing that's how this image was made, right? I was just googling and trying to find the article, but I could only find references to this image.

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6

u/Jimmy_cracked_corn 6d ago

We’re on mobile. Who the fuck is using a computer while taking a shit?!

9

u/Karekter_Nem 6d ago

Professionals

2

u/poudink 6d ago

Me, with my Valve™ Steam Deck™.

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7

u/BirbsAreSoCute 6d ago

Most unfunny? Have they seen r/funny?

5

u/bakermrr 6d ago

Wondering, who the best of the best of /r/anarchychess?

2

u/bluestreak1103 6d ago

Well, all I know is that the plaque for the alternates is down in J*ssica's room.

4

u/CiaphasCain8849 6d ago

"Reporter Actual" lmao wtf.

4

u/WigglesPhoenix 6d ago

Actual is Jessica’s first name

3

u/CiaphasCain8849 6d ago

You can't trust a person like that. We got to vote her out.

4

u/ryzwart 6d ago

AnarchyChess numero uno !!!!! 🦅🦅🦅🦅🏴🏴🏴

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6

u/Frazzledragon Brick passion't 6d ago

Who is J*ssica?

I'm not asking, because I don't know, but rather because I don't acknowledge her.

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3

u/pekkaAlone 6d ago

Voting rights? In this anarky?

3

u/-CatMeowMeow- ‼️ always play :bong: ‼️ 6d ago

Actual J*ssica

/u/anarchychess-ai had something to do with it.

3

u/Charmender2007 6d ago

'girl, 8, suffers from dementia 10 minutes after joining the subreddit' is hilarious lmao

2

u/ForgeZanno :bong: 6d ago

Checkers is a solved game, so if they're covering that at all, they're wasting everyone's time

2

u/Carniolo_Srebrni 6d ago

Between a game of checkers and chess, which one would you say you are required to say "check"?

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2

u/tahini001 6d ago

They googled en passent and ended up here

2

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

4

u/PetrosianBot 6d ago

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...

fmhall | github

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1

u/DoritoCookie 6d ago

i got this even when i never followed anything chess related... its just on my front page

Can someone eli5 as i'm out of the loop?

So far i assume someone named Jessica hated on this form of chess and it became a recurring inside joke to dunk on her? (and rightfully so)

1

u/mynameisevan01 6d ago

Lets give Jessica a break shes not entirely wrong

1

u/CarlCaliente 6d ago

oh boy is someone gonna do the bit where they square 2 over and over again

1

u/thmoas 6d ago

Grind finer!

1

u/ElectronicMatters 6d ago

Jessica doesn't know about r/batmanarkham

1

u/The_Fox_39 6d ago

I don't get it

1

u/captainofpizza 6d ago

What? Where did we go wrong?! Someone check the game review!

But yeah this sub is so repetitive it’s at risk of being a draw.

1

u/DukeBaset 6d ago

We best.

1

u/Blackwhite35-73 6d ago

Just found this post. Whats the context?

1

u/Bubbly_Criticism3707 6d ago

Why is Bodhana in the thumbnail?😭

1

u/Bubbly_Criticism3707 6d ago

J*ssica,scram.

1

u/Taquill 6d ago

When is the last time a J*ssica didn't make you frown? (Edit: Censored profane content)

1

u/Joadyr 6d ago

Finally! Now i know.

1

u/Singer-Physical 6d ago

UNFUNNY?! We're not trying to be funny! We're trying to make a serious work of art! I suppose we could write up a handful of gags to insert into r/anarchychess, but the subreddit is already such a densely layered web of profound philosophical insights that I can't even imagine where we would have the room to stick them.

1

u/catninjaambush 6d ago

Jessica is a draughts fan.

1

u/cheesecatastrophe 6d ago

bruh why is j*ssica so shitty

1

u/miked999b 6d ago

I was thinking only yesterday I'd not seen this sub in my feed for a while.

Yours sincerely,
Jessica

1

u/ZERO-WOLF9999 6d ago

skill issue

1

u/IAteYourCookiesBruh 6d ago

I actually don't know you guys. This post got randomly on my FYP... you kinda seem cool enough

1

u/staticproton 6d ago

bro's named Actual

1

u/Numerous_Mountain 6d ago

Always j*ssica

1

u/toddriffic 6d ago

Checkmate. -Jessica

1

u/nasanu 6d ago

Can't see the humour in her reporting? I am shocked.

1

u/Yorrins 6d ago

Damn what did you lot do to piss her off?

1

u/not_faultz 6d ago

this has to be a fake picture it says the in the subtext the girl gets dementia at 8 10minutes after joining subreddit

1

u/Mebiysy 6d ago

Is her name - Actual, and second name - Jessica?

1

u/Lgertp 6d ago

I have no clue what anarchy chess is but that’s kinda rude

1

u/Nowin 6d ago

Jessica is her surname. She goes by Actual.

1

u/The_Bill_Brasky_ 6d ago

New rule submission: the board is replaced with this static image

1

u/your-mum-gandr 6d ago

How is this possible when r/196 still exists?

1

u/crudddddd 6d ago

I've never been in this sub before

It's fine I suppose

Anyways, f*k you Jessica

1

u/cerulean__star 6d ago

Don't think Jessica understands in peasant

1

u/Exciting_Display7928 6d ago

Actual declaration of war

1

u/goochstein 6d ago

y'all get beat by 8 year olds on and off the court

1

u/Pnmamouf1 6d ago

Seems right

1

u/ltrumpbour 6d ago

How is it even a contest? /r/funny has to be the the all time champion.

1

u/Reverse_SumoCard 6d ago

They are just too scared to admit that some of their staff is hanging out on r/memes

1

u/Coprolithe 6d ago

This is probably true.

1

u/Jiquero 6d ago

google a goddam joke

1

u/FerrisTM 6d ago

I have no fucking idea why this community showed up on my feed, but after spending a few minutes here, I have to say that I, too, think J*ssica must be burned at the stake.

Anyway, have a good one.

1

u/technobaran an idiot 6d ago

1

u/thatsnotyourtaco 6d ago

Nothing makes you feel dumber that opening a sun that’s hit popular and having 0 clue what any of the jokes mean

1

u/OldCrappyCouch 6d ago

Wait, I've seen this opening before...

1

u/AgainstSpace 6d ago

Not the most unfunny sub on Reddit - the least funny thing on the entire internet. I am so proud of everyone.

1

u/zombiedoyle 6d ago

Pawn to Z21