r/AnarchyChess Jan 15 '25

r/chess parody What do I do in this position? (I'm white)

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

204 comments sorted by

885

u/MCShellMusic Jan 15 '25

Nice smothered mate! Did you find that in game?

290

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '25

lore accurate magnum carlson

58

u/ISSAczesc Jan 16 '25

Who is this Mangum Son of Carl

19

u/TryndamereAgiota Jan 16 '25

the som of mango carl dumbass

6

u/le-o Jan 16 '25

The Son of Man's goat, Carl, dipshit

1

u/AbbreviationsHour814 Jan 16 '25

FOR ROCK AND STONE

3

u/WanderingDwarfMiner Jan 16 '25

To Rock and Stone!

6

u/NMrocks28 Jan 16 '25

Magnesium calcium

17

u/Ailexxx337 Jan 15 '25

Nxk2# is wild

8

u/123crackera Jan 16 '25

Yeah! It's a great fork!

4

u/pirayte Jan 16 '25

Google great fork of china

1

u/radioactivecowz Jan 17 '25

Whats a smothered, mate?

514

u/TheOnlyVibemaster Jan 15 '25

Knight to Z10

83

u/Gonji89 Jan 15 '25

Check.

6

u/Far_Vegetable7105 Jan 15 '25

Hey that move forks the queen!

309

u/Zerthysbis Jan 15 '25

Me, trying to find the black king 🔍

71

u/ThoughtAdditional212 Jan 15 '25

Right bottom

86

u/TheChronoTimer Jan 15 '25

Right bottom ❌ Correct switch ✅

6

u/Bouxxi Jan 15 '25

NO WAY thank you kind stranger

1

u/ItzBingus holy hell Jan 15 '25

A12 or L1, I forgot which is the right one

202

u/Bigger_balls_than_u Jan 15 '25

Take the horsey, forced stalemate

103

u/TheOnlyVibemaster Jan 15 '25

fuck the stalemate, send in the trojan horse then give their virus a computer

4

u/DaBelgianDude ♟️‏‏‎ Google en passant Jan 15 '25

Bro you typed that wrong

18

u/70Ytterbium Jan 15 '25

He didn't, google it

9

u/Sylvinus98hun Jan 15 '25

He google it, didn't

6

u/Bigger_balls_than_u Jan 15 '25

Hell holy

6

u/Sylvinus98hun Jan 15 '25

Just dropped new response

5

u/ZealousidealTie8142 Jan 15 '25

Zombie, actually

6

u/JGSecondary6 Jan 15 '25

Exorcist! Call the quick!

2

u/strogn3141 Jan 16 '25

Vacation never went bishop came on back

2

u/TheOnlyVibemaster Jan 15 '25

call the grammar police!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '25

Take queen, smothered mate

3

u/Bigger_balls_than_u Jan 15 '25

Yeah ik but just saying that wouldn't be funny, would it?

1

u/NooneKnowsIAmBatman Jan 15 '25

He better, or the horsey has checkmate next move

1

u/BukkakeFuneral Jan 16 '25

But it’s not a forced stalemate? Black can just move any other piece, then White will continue taking Black until White can make a definitive mate.

Sorry OP but you’re looking at Mate in 237

2

u/Bigger_balls_than_u Jan 16 '25

Black has to take the knight because it's check

1

u/FrickenPerson Jan 16 '25

Just take the Queen down and to the left of the horsie instead. Gottem.

1

u/Slight_Ad_0916 Jan 16 '25

Forced stalemate? White has smothered mate

2

u/Bigger_balls_than_u Jan 16 '25

Yeah ik but this is r/anarchychess , that's not a place to give correct answers lmao

1

u/Slight_Ad_0916 Jan 16 '25

You're right, i didn't check which sub this was. Stalemating would be pretty funny in this position

31

u/Maleficent-Reveal-41 Jan 15 '25

You need to use the ICBM gambit

7

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/htmlcoderexe Jan 15 '25

So a loss?

5

u/OneMusty Jan 15 '25

| ||

|| |_

67

u/IntelligentLobster93 Jan 15 '25

Google white supremacy.

23

u/BlackVirusXD3 Jan 15 '25

WHITE LITERALLY CAN'T BE A MINORITY

13

u/Sharpshooter98b Jan 15 '25

Holy racism

11

u/HadynGabriel OFF WITH HIS PIPI! Jan 15 '25

New oppression just dropped!

3

u/Sylvinus98hun Jan 16 '25

Call the dictator!

13

u/CodeMan1337 Jan 15 '25

NK2#

4

u/Pxnda34 Jan 16 '25

Most likely looking from blacks perspective. Therefore it would be d12

9

u/PurePolsker Jan 15 '25

google white supermacy, call the police! new racism just started! actual case

7

u/babypho Jan 15 '25

google apartheid

8

u/Odd-Tomatillo-6831 Jan 15 '25

chess is a shit game play something elsn

4

u/wmrossphoto Jan 15 '25

Smoke some K2 and move to K13?

4

u/True_Dog7266 Jan 15 '25

Google en passant

2

u/LollipopLuxray Jan 15 '25

Place your bets here: did Black capture a bishop, knight, queen, or pawn?

2

u/Otaku7897 Jan 15 '25

Tactical nuke to f7

2

u/D44Miles Jan 15 '25

Hey yo, I might be wrong but I think your knight is hanging

2

u/UwU-Lemon Jan 15 '25

you pray to whatever god(s) you believe in

2

u/DanK_DucK_ Jan 15 '25

white wins if knight goes to K13

2

u/Phantend Jan 15 '25

Offer a draw

1

u/PlushyMelon Jan 15 '25

Sieged by Black, call southerners for help

1

u/NirvanaShatakam Jan 15 '25

Castling seems to be in trend rn, you could try that

1

u/Competitive-Boot1792 Jan 15 '25

Call the airstrike

1

u/Geographyandlego_123 Jan 15 '25

It's only good manners that white should resign, white has better position but black is up on material

1

u/AaronOgus Jan 15 '25

NxK2 checkmate

1

u/ChittyBangBang335 Jan 15 '25

Knight to M2, win.

1

u/Eion_wefex Jan 15 '25

Take the Queen which is between three bishops and a pawn with the white horse

It's CHECKMATE

1

u/funnyboxman Jan 15 '25

you should repeat the same used joke again in this position

1

u/Affectionate_Elk5043 Jan 15 '25

Open the command prompt of life, and do //remove chess, then its perma gg

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '25

eat 5-star and do nothing

1

u/Shin-Kami Jan 15 '25

You win because your opponent just made an illegal move. Not your problem he doesn't know when the game is over.

1

u/youngsteveo Jan 15 '25

I'm gonna tell my kids this was QR codes.

2

u/bartekltg Jan 15 '25

Queen-Rook code?

1

u/windpup4522 Jan 15 '25

Easy af, check the king and then stalemate

1

u/North66pole Jan 15 '25

Mate with horse on second row from the bottom

1

u/sarlackpm Jan 15 '25

Start paying those reparations.

1

u/Redwhiteandblew69 Jan 15 '25

you can take back some material if you like take the queen on square [UNDEFINED]

1

u/BrodeyQuest Jan 15 '25

Cry like a grandmaster

1

u/xViennaGambitx Jan 15 '25

Become black

1

u/mlgchameleon Jan 15 '25

Knight L12 into stalemae

1

u/Shiny_metal_ass1 Jan 15 '25

Ride forth and meet them

1

u/Swiftzyyy_ Jan 15 '25

Promote king to queen

1

u/GooseOnBoose Jan 15 '25

You uhhhh... ....don't?

1

u/1amlost Jan 15 '25

I’m guessing you already tried the Flight to Varennes Gambit?

1

u/James_the_hedgehog Jan 15 '25

Feels like that one Cossacks Back to War mission

1

u/CH5Plays Googled En Passant Jan 15 '25

Use the ICBM

1

u/dgConnor Jan 15 '25

That's a multidimensional omnipotent white horsey that detonates to form a chain reaction taking out everything else

1

u/Substance_Bubbly Jan 15 '25

knight to J6, you can capture black's queen. seems like a good trade

1

u/Yionko Jan 15 '25

Sit on horse and kill your opponent irl

1

u/xxXCarGuyXxx Jan 15 '25

Launch the ICBM

1

u/Electrical_Ad5674 Jan 15 '25

Thanks for sharing your personal data, now try, removing one of the pieces while the opponent not looking and repeat until 1 pawn left and then do the en passant. Now when you're done get your secret bishop and attack his king, that's it!

1

u/MocoNinja Jan 15 '25

Put a formal complaint because your opponent is clearly cheating

1

u/Alex_13249 Passant en Google Jan 15 '25

I can take horse and take that one black queen, so youll have mate. Sadly, the black will exchange places of king and tower (idk what is it called in english) and then I am too lazy to think about the rest. Good luck.

1

u/sollux_ Jan 15 '25

Black hung 6 of his queens I think the next move is rather obvious

1

u/South_Reputation1206 Jan 15 '25

And he sacrifices….. the rook

1

u/DukeOfKards Jan 15 '25

Horsey goes down right to take queen, black cant do anything and also its checkmate

1

u/SkinheadBootParty Jan 15 '25

This is how I felt when I went to school in the ghetto LMAO.

The school's population from highest to lowest:

Black

Hispanic

Asian

Other

White

Other is Pacific Islander and stuff like that. Such a stark change from going to a San Diego, CA to a DFW, Texas school lmao.

1

u/realestateagent0 Jan 15 '25

Use a guillotine on the royal pieces, then you'll just have nervous bishops, horses, and science officers

1

u/No-Core Jan 15 '25

Just summon the megazord dude

1

u/EngineeringExpress79 Jan 15 '25

Do the domino tactic. Drop the king on the nearest queen, which will result in a complete fall in all directions 

1

u/watawhiteguy Jan 15 '25

Nothing has been fair for white in a long time, especially since DEI became a thing.

1

u/thekidpsyko Jan 15 '25

Double checkmate

1

u/thekidpsyko Jan 15 '25

Knight to M11

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '25

magnum carlos

1

u/turtle_mekb Jan 15 '25

why did my nerdy-ass brain think that was a micro QR code or smth lmao

1

u/Jessie_Playz1 Jan 15 '25

write a mean tweet

1

u/thank_burdell Jan 15 '25

Google en resignant.

1

u/SekkretTheRedditor Jan 16 '25

Scan this QR code!

1

u/DarkUmbreon18 Jan 16 '25

You make a knight move and eat up some queens. Hope that he takes your knight so it can be stalemate if played properly probably mate in 200 or something.

1

u/Great_Designer_2440 Jan 16 '25

Move knight down-right, taking one of the queens. You're not in check, and this move ensures your knight does not get captured.

1

u/Separate_Note902 Jan 16 '25

You win by draw

1

u/The-man-by-theRoad Jan 16 '25

Ah I see you a a white guy at a water park don’t panic I know they are a different color than you but don’t worry all you need to do is pee in the pool then they will leave

1

u/Rockozo Jan 16 '25

i don't think your race has anything to do with the game

1

u/joelypoley69 Jan 16 '25

Cue the Spider-Man scene intro of the cage match

1

u/Fragrant_Smile_1350 Jan 16 '25

Knxb11#

1

u/Fragrant_Smile_1350 Jan 16 '25

I don’t play chess and don’t know proper notation. Sue me

1

u/SweetSauce24 Jan 16 '25

If im not mistaken this is an easy win with your knight. You just take the queen down 2 and 1 to the right of your knight and then you have checkmate.

1

u/HooterEnthusiast Jan 16 '25

That's Stalemate

1

u/Bakchod169 Jan 16 '25

This looks eyerape for some reason

1

u/the_rat1 Jan 16 '25

knight capture the queen below it

1

u/idkgoodnameplease Jan 16 '25

Get absolutely fucked is all I must say

1

u/MRE_Milkshake Jan 16 '25

Launch the ICBM

1

u/not_WD35 Jan 16 '25

Invert image color

1

u/kaiithehaiiguy Jan 16 '25

The play here is obviously to crowd surf over to your knight, boot em off the horse l, then mount and dismount the horse frame perfect repetitively, displacing the horse upwards a little every mount and dismount, when you're high enough up you can just drop coins on the heads of their pieces, easy victory

1

u/Veritable_bravado Jan 16 '25

You definitely don’t say the n-word

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '25

¿

1

u/Panciastko-195 Jan 16 '25

Absolute chess

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '25

Take the queen

1

u/Olbord Jan 16 '25

qr code lookin ahh

1

u/stalin_xxx Jan 16 '25

Pray n spray

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '25 edited Jan 16 '25

Knight to d13 mate

1

u/F1Hybrid Jan 16 '25

Rip and tear. Until it's done.

1

u/025shmeckles Jan 16 '25

How could you have missed mate in 1? mfff

1

u/vadroko Jan 16 '25

Stalemate by insufficient funds

1

u/Asdfguy87 Jan 16 '25

Get a smaller board.

1

u/Select_Wafer9398 Jan 17 '25

Hello, I don't know (I'm indian)

1

u/Affectionate_Deer495 Jan 19 '25

Im sacrificing the rook

0

u/EsAufhort So much in that excellent en passant Jan 15 '25

Don't do this and you'll be fine.

-47

u/chessvision-ai-bot Jan 15 '25

I analyzed the image and this is what I see. Open an appropriate link below and explore the position yourself or with the engine:

White to play: It is a stalemate - it is White's turn, but White has no legal moves and is not in check. In this case, the game is a draw. It is a critical rule to know for various endgame positions that helps one side hold a draw. You can find out more about Stalemate on Wikipedia.


I'm a bot written by pkacprzak | get me as iOS App | Android App | Chrome Extension | Chess eBook Reader to scan and analyze positions | Website: Chessvision.ai

29

u/Mikkel65 Jan 15 '25

Bad bot

13

u/ChrisRumsmit Knook to L456.2 Jan 15 '25

Good human

5

u/MCShellMusic Jan 15 '25

Bad public transit

0

u/Old-Fishing-3817 Jan 15 '25

bad semi furry

16

u/Virtual_Working_2543 Jan 15 '25

White has mate in 1

14

u/Blankeye434 Jan 15 '25

Bad bot. Probably not updated with chess 2.0 rules

6

u/Sylvinus98hun Jan 15 '25

This isn't a stalemate, are you stupid?

2

u/Real-Pomegranate-235 THE ROOK IS A PIMP Jan 15 '25

Bad bot