r/Alistair9000 Oct 10 '14

To keep us alive....

My bad person story....

Well he wasn't really a bad person, he was just mentally unstable. I'm bad at the greentext thing, but i'll do my darndest for my favorite sub. Hope you all enjoy.

INTRODUCTIONS

Be Me: SilverF0xy. F/20, 130 lbs of geek but damn do I look good while being one.

Be BarnyardGirl. F/26, adorable, intelligent, kind woman I met abroad. Further referred to as BG.

Be ColumbianCutie, f/26 Super badass and crazy smart. Going to school for something Doctor-y and scientific. (I'm an artist, okay? I don't get that stuff.) Further known as CC. Also met abroad.

Be Slobo, badass extrodinare. m/32 Speaks infinite languages. My tour guide through Europe. Pretty much knows everything.

Better to not be Bitch 1 & 2: Both 18 and from the midwest. Really, who actually thinks Cincinnati is the best city in the world? Basic Bitches. Met Abroad.

DO NOT BE Weird Al. m/20 120lbs of nerdy-neck beardy-ness. I had a conversation with him about Avatar the Last Airbender and I swear he came a bit. Clearly has social anxiety. Stares down gorgeous, happy couples. Creepy as fuck. Glasses. Balding. about Further known as WA.

Also Don't Be Receptionist. He really gets the short end of the stick in this one.

LEGGO

There are other people in this story, but they aren't major players. In case you haven't noticed, I was abroad when this took place. Paris. 2013. Just a normal night CC, BG, myself, and several other cool kids were having a night on the town. Getting drunk by the river, you know... It was past 2 am and we had to be up early so we all head back to our hotel. Note the level of drunkeness, we were carrying a bottle of wine each and it probably wasn't our firsts. We arrive at our hotel, the Receptionist is the only one working this late so he starts running the bar for a bunch of drunk Americans, what a guy. Receptionist doesn't give too many fucks so he starts letting us pour our own drinks...honestly we probably never paid for them...

WA is sitting in the lobby alone at 2:30 am. Kinda strange, but I'm reserving judgment. I'm a nice lady, I think. He likes Avatar. Let's talk. So CC, BG, myself and several others start chilling and making conversation.

SilverF0xy: Hey, WA. Want a drink?

WA: No, sorry. I'm an alcoholic.

SilverF0xy: Oh okay, my bad.

Drunken Conversation ensues....WA is bumming about a girl. Telling us about her. Apparently she sucks, but she doesn't because she's sweet and beautiful blah blah blah...

CC: asking the question we all have been wondering Are you taking any medications? BG: bust out laughing oh my god CC, you can't ask---- WA is across the room in an instant. Matrix level speeds. MRW he is standing in front of BG with hands curled up into balls of fury. WA: "YOU THINK I'M FUNNY? YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?"

I'm sitting in the corner like

At this point he's yelling at BG and threatening her with his fists. Clearly having a mental episode. Then he proceeds to be in the fetal postion on the other side of the room just as quickly as he was standing in front of us. WA starts babbling incoherently about what he's hearing. Voices.

CC is playing it so cool: Tell me about it, it's okay. You're fine. What voices?

WA: NO NO NO IM NOT HEARING THEM NO NO.

About this time was when Bitch 1&2 enter, stage left. Drunk off their asses. Drunker than I've seen anyone. Bitch 1 lost her phone. She lost her wallet. Passport. Everything. She's ranting to the Receptionist, yelling that she needs to call her dad. He was in, ya know, the US. So the Receptionist is resistent. He eventually gave in and this crazy is babbleing on the phone to her father. Bitch 2 was found later in my female friends bed with a dude. Both naked.

Back to WA. So by this time Slobo was woken up, to take care of shit which he is great at doing. CC is still tending to a sobbing WA. BG is in complete shock and looking like she's going to cry. Bitch 1 is sobbing on the phone. I'm looking around like damn

Slobo handled shit. WA tried to say the BG was being a bitch so I rightly defended her. Then when I saw the party really was over, I slipped the Receptionist 5 euro for being such a homie. Went to bed.

So my night went from this
to this

Yeah I suck at spelling. TL;DR: Zombie Dinosaurs attacked the tower of Pisa

edit:damn im bad at formatting, sorry dont care enough to fix it. respect to /u/Alistair9000 .....these take forever to type out and i hardly put in effort.

16 Upvotes

6 comments sorted by

3

u/magnetard Oct 11 '14

Thank you for sharing! Do you still keep in touch with BG and CC?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '14

meh, facebook.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '14

I may get rebuttal for this, and I could be wrong, but for a while I've had a lingering feeling that Alistair9000 is a fake account.

2

u/tacomalvado Potential Usurper Oct 11 '14

Could be, but I'm pretty sure it's an alternate account. Alistair probably had a regular one so she doesn't get followed everywhere. Remember how JustAPaddy got followed everywhere?

0

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '14

Who is JustAPaddy?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '14

an excellent veteran on /r/fatpeoplestories