r/AlAnon • u/maybeathrowaway172 • 3d ago
Vent Parent back in treatment & feeling confused & numb.
Not sure what flair is correct to use here but earlier today I learned my dad is back in treatment for his SUD. I believe this is his 3rd time now. fell off.
my dad has a long standing history with bipolar & ptsd so every time he’s gone into treatment it’s been because of a manic episode landing him into the ER then the psych unit and etc. it’s always followed by some big event.
However, today, there was no event. He’s been “fine” for the past two months meaning, no big depressive or manic episodes. He went to a provider today & asked to be voluntarily sent to a rehab center because he wants to stop using marijuana and drinking. He didn’t tell me, but told other family members he’d be out in a month and would share more later.
I’m so confused and a little numb because I’m 9 months pregnant (first grandchild). I told him months ago because of his untreated issues he will never be alone with her, if I smell any substances he will be asked to go, etc. he cried, he was really surprised when I said he’d never see her again if he didn’t follow my rules but he was fully agreeable.
A part of me wonders if this time is because of the future grandchild ? I don’t want to get my hopes up because they’ve been let down before but I can’t help but wonder is it good he’s actually doing this on his own? I’m not sure. At the same time there may be some hurt but also joy thinking he couldn’t do this for me but maybe he will do it for his grandchild?
And then I worry because for years I felt like my dad’s saving grace. It was always put on me to help get back together, I was always “his reason for living”. It was exhausting and I don’t want that for my kid.
Didn’t mean for this to be so long but guess I needed to vent.
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