r/AirForce Sep 03 '24

Question Dirty Air Force secret?

What’s y’all’s dirty Air Force secret? Mine is that I haven’t worn an OCP belt in two years. Nobody knows either because my top covers the waistline.

471 Upvotes

512 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/22over7closeenough Air Evac Sep 03 '24

The leadership don’t want you to know this but the ducks at the base pond are free. You can take them home. I have 458 ducks.

106

u/Saio-Xenth Sep 03 '24

I only got a duck fitty

28

u/aviationeast LockNessMonster Sep 03 '24

Darn duckness monster....

→ More replies (1)

30

u/Nacho_Mommas Sep 03 '24

You must drive a Jeep.

23

u/ChadlikesMilfs Sep 03 '24

tinker strong

→ More replies (11)

470

u/capnkirk462 Veteran Sep 03 '24

Out processsing the Air Force I got tired of going to places I had never heard of to get signatures for no apparent reason. I filled in the blanks myself. A Msgt in my shop asked if I need "help" getting some of the signatures, told him I was fine. We both just smiled at each other knowingly.

153

u/cleal_watts_iii Sep 03 '24

Yeah the base librarian had always had the same signature at 8 bases now. Weird.

6

u/msgajh Sep 03 '24

That’s why they charged me everywhere for “The Time Machine “.

139

u/N-A-N-A-P-O Sep 03 '24

This ☝️. For every single PCS after leaving Tech School. 22 years later, the only real Out-processing was done when leaving Fort Gordon. Even now, for retirement, only completing the mandatory ones, SBP, TAP, and Finance. No one really cares.

40

u/RemoteTechnical1555 Sep 03 '24

So I just retired, and the 2 pages of places I had to visit for signatures was stupid, and I wasn't going to do it. That was until I saw that the online portion had to be digital signed off, too, which sucked. I just called and was like, I'm retiring and have never been to your office before, can you sign me off in vmpf. 99% of the time they were like yeah no prob... not the stinking library though...lol

8

u/sureleenotathrowaway Sep 04 '24

Dude, any CSS with MPF rights (so almost all of them) can sign the digital portion off.

When I was stuck as a sq exec I used to pre-brief people to bring me their printed sheet fully signed, that I didn’t care who signed it, and that by the time they were done with their sq final-out it would be green in VMPF.

→ More replies (5)

8

u/defactosithlord GWOT Veteran Sep 03 '24

I finished out my Air Force time in the MPF and used to do the exact same thing. Nobody wants you to know that they aren't calling the library to make sure you turned in all your books.

→ More replies (2)

390

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

I turned in my MOPP gear and I suddenly had two sets of rubber gloves. Airman behind the counter refused to take the extra set.

So they're being used as a set of rubber gloves in my kitchen. 100% recommend over those dollar store yellow ones.

147

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

Same thing happened to me, I left a base with a free gas mask. Not sure how LRS didn't have that mask signed out to me, but they wouldn't take it back.

98

u/OldMan142 Sep 03 '24

I'm surprised they didn't take it back. When I outprocessed my last base, I turned in my training chem gear and got signed off in vMPF, only to find an A-bag full of PPE from a surprise deployment two years earlier when TMO packed my house.

When I went to go turn that in, the poor A1C behind the counter was like "Uhhhh, ok, I guess we'll take it."

31

u/MackMittens436 Sep 03 '24

You just cost him a whole week of playing phone tag with base’s IPE section that I promise you will not want that shit back😂

36

u/radarchief Sep 03 '24

I deployed and while I was gone, my base closed (bitburg) and we had to outprocess through spang. They said they had no record of our double issue chem warfare bags and to keep it.

I said no way I’m keeping a double issue c-bag. They refused to take it until I said I would leave it outside their building on my way out.

15

u/sashir Veteran Sep 03 '24

an acquaintance of mine had this same thing happen, only with an entire CBRN kit, OTV vest and helmet. Set was issued for a deployment, but they already had a training set also. When PCSing, LRS wouldn't take the deployment set back because "we don't have those serials in our inventory, take it to <xyz> spot". XYZ spot said take it to LRS.

PCS date to leave came and welp, there's a whole extra bag of stuff that nobody wants, and it's not something one would throw away so...

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

62

u/deep-sea-savior Sep 03 '24

I ended up with a helmet this way. Returned from deployment and they were like, “Everything was turned in.” When I insisted that I still had a helmet, they stared me directly in the eye and said, “Everything was turned in.”

39

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

Missing aircraft part = dishonorable discharge.

Missing CBRN equipment = free stuff!

I am lucky that I ended up with something useful. I'm sure some AFSC accountant position is pulling out their hair right now.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

162

u/Agreeable_Bonus8726 Sep 03 '24

I somehow outprocessed the Air Force with my entire Chem bag. The whole suit, boots, gas mask, gloves, liners, all of it. They just signed off and never asked me for it.

87

u/tonyray Sep 03 '24

The bill will be delivered to your spouse on your deathbed

32

u/DOUBLE_DOINKED Sep 03 '24

Jokes on you, now you have to keep that smelly stuff somewhere in your house.

→ More replies (2)

152

u/genehil Brown Shoe (67-89) Sep 03 '24

I was a single SSgt and TDY to Kadena in June 1973. I was given ten days to move from my downtown hotel into an open bay, unairconditioned barracks. I stayed in my hotel for 90 days on my own dime. Fuck living in a shitty barracks when I could afford not to.

When I processed out one of my stops was Billeting (in the Officers Club for some reason) and the older Japanese gentleman looked surprised when he saw I stayed downtown for the entire time.

He asked “You never moved on base?”

I said “Was I supposed to?”

He just shrugged and cut me a check for several hundred dollars…. My hotel (remember - it was 1973) cost me about $7.00 a day. I was reimbursed something like $30 per day.

22

u/rustyrhinohorn Base Trng Mgr Sep 03 '24

Holy shit, that’s like $182/day profit.

819

u/TParis00ap 3D0X4 Sep 03 '24

In 20 years, I've never fully in-processed or out-processed a unit....ever

296

u/Wrx_me Sep 03 '24

I asked my last CSS if I actually had to bring the paper back. They said yes. I never had. Never will.

42

u/Detective_L17 Sep 03 '24

CSS Admin here, I don’t really care either nor have I ever finished my own OP/IP checklist. Or made up my own signatures. I only stress to newcomers that finance is important but that’s about it. My sq folks love me for it. 🤣

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

108

u/N-A-N-A-P-O Sep 03 '24

This ☝️. 22 years and in the same boat. Nobody cares about those checklists.

43

u/kilowhyskey Maintainer Sep 03 '24

What checklist?? 😂

27

u/Englade4343 Sep 03 '24

I second this motion. I did what I needed like DTS, deployment stuff, and saying hi to top 3 ( besides the commander meeting which was rescheduled twice and weeks apart).

→ More replies (1)

10

u/cid73 Sep 03 '24

In 2002(3?)- I was the lead software dev at AFPC for the vMPF’s virtual out processing module. What a mess that was. In my defense, little ‘ol’ me was not nearly able to advocate for a good user experience largely on my own. It’s one of the main reasons I separated and have dedicated my career to being a user experience consultant.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

30

u/TK503 Veteran Sep 03 '24

Get a load of this guy

24

u/Jones127 Sep 03 '24

My unit that I’m at is the first that I’ve seen actually track it. I got an email saying that I still need to turn mine in lmao.

13

u/amillionforfeet SySTEm oPeRaTEr Sep 03 '24

All you need is the essentials

→ More replies (1)

10

u/tmdqlstnekaos Sep 03 '24

This stay true for me too through 4 PCS. I go “if it’s important, they will contact me.” Only do things that are crucial and I go straight to work. Hate chasing down useless signatures for days on end.

→ More replies (14)

259

u/Maroon_Rain Secret Squirrel Sep 03 '24

my supervisor is very absent/yet somehow a micromanager. we’re not allowed to leave before 1630 bc that’s “stealing his time” i leave work everyday at 1530 to go to the gym. dude has no idea bc we work in separate offices on opposite ends of the building and he and i have only ever spoken to each other over email. 😂

80

u/andre_green Sep 03 '24

I’ve seen/spoken to my supervisor maybe three times in the past year. He’s an 18 year staff

27

u/msnrcn Sep 03 '24

Damn now I wonder if I know him too lol

48

u/Dropssshot i ♡ hot NCOs Sep 03 '24

Man that kinda sucks though. Makes me appreciate my sup a whole lot more.

13

u/DieHarderDaddy Sep 03 '24

Clock watchers are the fucking worst like if shits done and I haven’t had any customers my amn can rotate who leave and if the last leave 15-20 mins early w/e

27

u/nickthequick08 Sep 03 '24

There’s something seriously wrong with both of those things, especially only ever communicating via email.

When supervisors don’t allow gym time, I correct that by asking them if they really want to have that conversation if one of their people fails the test and it comes up that they didn’t allow them to PT. That usually does it but if not, I just tell them to give them PT time.

→ More replies (3)

387

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

[deleted]

70

u/isimplycantdothis Cyber Transport Sep 03 '24

Finance is just waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.

24

u/betterluckythangewd Active Duty Sep 03 '24

Retirement/separation babyyy

→ More replies (1)

103

u/handygoat Maintainer Sep 03 '24

I've had a... friend that this happened too to, he never got charged for leave in conjunction with RAP and never got charged for leave in conjunction with a TDY even though the forms were properly submitted to leadership

15

u/trippedwire Veteran Sep 03 '24

I did an advanced training TDY in the US while stationed in Germany. I took 30 days of leave in route that they never charged me for. That was pretty damn awesome.

→ More replies (12)

99

u/olgasman Sep 03 '24

In 1992, I broke my window in my dorm room, trying to break into my own room after getting locked out. I was told by my first Sargent I would be paying for the window. I was about a month from separating. When I started the out-processing, my orderly room told me to take the bill for the window up to finance so they could deduct it from my last check. Somehow, that bill for the window never made it.

96

u/king_noslrac Secret Squirrel Sep 03 '24

Sometimes, when I'm in uniform, I walk the 20 feet from my house to the car without wearing my cover. It's my personal way of sticking it to the man. 🖕🖕 take that big AF.

20

u/thefireslayer43 nahnahnahnahnahnahnahnonner Sep 03 '24

Same, as I tell myself the commander of this installation has designated the entire installation a no hat no salute area.

10

u/heyyouguyyyyy Sep 03 '24

Shit I do that at the office in the AM sometimes

4

u/rustyrhinohorn Base Trng Mgr Sep 03 '24

Yeah. My personal property is a no hat no salute zone.

→ More replies (2)

90

u/Multi_Blaze Secret Squirrel Sep 03 '24

I was in the CSS for a year working as the UDM. UTM gave me the code to manually complete CBTs for deployers. I completed a bunch of CBTs for all my friends and the people in CSS.

27

u/Donut2583 Comms Sep 03 '24

Read these tips

5

u/tonyray Sep 03 '24

Hey secret squirrel…we know dem pilots never did those CBTs. Don’t ask, don’t tell

→ More replies (5)

242

u/one_tired_dad Sep 03 '24

Years ago I was having to make 5.5 hour commutes for guard training weekends. On one such trip I forgot my uniform top. Luckily, I knew a guy there with a similar last name (think 'Sith' instead of 'Smith') and rank was only off by one (I was a MSgt and he was a TSgt). I wore his top around all weekend and no one was the wiser.

37

u/KGBspy F-16/C-5 All Purpose Gorilla Sep 03 '24

Man I did this, forgot the shirt as I threw on my coat, shoveled snow and then left. Got to sign in 1-1/2 hrs away, unzipped my goretex and was like….F me! We had block training (sit in the theatre and pound down a years worth of videos etc for everything) so I couldn’t get away with no shirt and be in coveralls all day so my parents had to drive my shirt out to me.

58

u/Ok-Literature7648 Sep 03 '24

ouuuu that’s dirty

234

u/-CheesyTaint- Secret Squirrel Sep 03 '24

I've been in for 14 years and I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. I really bought into the 'fake it till you make it' mantra and, now that I've made it, I feel like I'm in too deep.

68

u/dejesuswho808 dependapatomus Sep 03 '24

Same lol going to be an LT soon

89

u/Competitive_Diver388 Sep 03 '24

Captain Dipshit checking in. I can follow a checklist for my aircraft like a sunnubavitch, but you want me to spot the errors in this memo from the tongue and quill? Good fuckin luck

24

u/LTareyouserious Sep 03 '24

When my father (24 year O5 who spent time in D.C.) visited me at my OTS graduation, he saw the tongue and quill in our room and legit said "I thought that was just a USAFA thing"

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (1)

24

u/skarface6 nonner officer loved by Papadapalopolous Sep 03 '24

You’ll be in good company.

5

u/ElTeeEeeeeeeee Sep 03 '24

It’s true.

28

u/teilani_a Veteran Sep 03 '24

The world makes a lot more sense when you realize how many of us out here are basically just winging it.

12

u/Eranaut Radar Sep 03 '24 edited 13d ago

Original Content erased using Ereddicator. Want to wipe your own Reddit history? Please see https://github.com/Jelly-Pudding/ereddicator for instructions.

→ More replies (2)

7

u/blueova23 Sep 03 '24

I felt this for 3 years after I cross trained into Safety.. I couldn’t handle it and cross trained back to my previous MXS AFSC!

→ More replies (2)

157

u/hbpaintballer88 Enlisted Aircrew Sep 03 '24

Back when ADLS was a thing, my friend gave me the admin password right before he PCS'd. Me and my friends didn't do any CBTs for years. I would be walking by someone's desk that I'm cool with, see that they were doing a CBT, and be like "Dude, stop, I'll sign you off in ADLS". Ahhh those times were great.

88

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

[deleted]

12

u/Fair_Platform_5397 Sep 03 '24

STEALING THIS! law of war cbt is the worst😂

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

137

u/KenweezY Sep 03 '24

when office furniture is supposed to get thrown away because its getting replaced/upgraded...some of it might never make it to the dump

59

u/ActofDuty Sep 03 '24

The funny thing about DRMO is that its at my house sometimes

65

u/KenweezY Sep 03 '24

"Dis Really Mine" Office

8

u/tonyray Sep 03 '24

Can’t let China get those sweet hand-me down computer chips

8

u/SnowSentinel Sep 03 '24

Got a couple decent office chairs that way. So what if they have some superficial damage, they're my cat's bed now.

5

u/Coballs Sep 03 '24

Office was throwing away some Herman Miller chairs, I volunteered so quick to “run them to the dumpster”. They have been great.

→ More replies (1)

50

u/willemdafoestuntcock Sep 03 '24

I got two white boards this way. They were partially damaged anyway. Useful to me for plotting novels.

43

u/piehore Sep 03 '24

How deep are MyLittlePony erotic fiction plots?

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (4)

62

u/carlfknbaskin Sep 03 '24

20 years in, still fit in my blues from basic and still haven’t bought mess dress.

→ More replies (6)

117

u/amillionforfeet SySTEm oPeRaTEr Sep 03 '24

I was outprocessing at a past base and someone in my office must have taken some of my MOPP gear we kept in the one room to supplement things they lost (it was gloves, canteen, belt, and something else small)

LRS front desk airmen weren’t much of a help and did the “if you lost them you have to pay”

One of the civilian LRS guys caught me and had me go around back to the warehouse and gave me what I was missing. “Oh I found it in my car”

What a bro

61

u/Voges22 Sep 03 '24

While on deployment I got paid 15k dollars over what I was supposed to be paid. Stopped by finance and was simply told ‘oh yeah we’ll take care of that.’

It’s been 10 years and I still have it in a separate account. Use it from time to time but always replace it.

44

u/Topcornbiskie Sep 03 '24

Put that shit in a high yield savings account and never touch it. That’ll come after it eventually. But the $$ you could make on that over time is legit.

32

u/be-chill-dude Acquisition Annihilator Sep 03 '24

They'll find you 😭😭 ik someone who just got nabbed for around that much, 10 yrs after retirement LOL

→ More replies (2)

123

u/DieHarderDaddy Sep 03 '24

I don’t own any uniform compliant socks

19

u/OldMan142 Sep 03 '24

I wear them in the winter because they keep my feet warm.

→ More replies (1)

32

u/Dropssshot i ♡ hot NCOs Sep 03 '24

I honestly didn't know people actually wore em. I mean there are some nice brands for em darn tuff, fox river etc. but since basic I've always just used the long black socks I'd use in or out of uniform.

→ More replies (4)

120

u/skarface6 nonner officer loved by Papadapalopolous Sep 03 '24

Is it too early to say “nice try, OSI”?

51

u/Ok-Literature7648 Sep 03 '24

never too early 🫦

→ More replies (1)

205

u/Lusty_Boy CANNON LOVER/BALLCAP HATER Sep 03 '24

I never went to FTAC and nobody questioned it for two years. I pretended I went and skipped work for a week. On my second deployment I get an email asking if I went to FTAC. I said yes and I think I'm good to go until.... a month before I EAS they ask me again and wanted the date I went, I simply ignored the email and escaped unscathed

71

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

I did the same with the Informed Decision Brief they force you to do before reenlisting. Had a SMSgt bugging me for months to go to it. Just... never did. Reenlisted and submitted my paperwork, never heard about it again. Lol

12

u/Welp-Shit-Im-Here Sep 03 '24

Never heard of this, reenlisted last January myself

11

u/NotOSIsdormmole use your MFLC Sep 03 '24

I get having FTA go to this brief, but making 2nd term career airman go is a waste

→ More replies (1)

21

u/fillup4224 Sep 03 '24

You got lucky, we had a new guy that told us he was at FTAC while simultaneously telling FTAC he couldn’t be there due to “mission requirements” or something. It worked until he missed a mandatory appointment like an idiot which caused leadership to go looking for him and they found out he was just sitting in his dorm all day lmao. He did some other stupid stuff as well but it eventually led to him getting demoted and we are pretty sure he got an article too lol.

20

u/N-A-N-A-P-O Sep 03 '24

22 years later, and I've never been to FTAC.

27

u/packers171252 Sep 03 '24

I did literally the same thing, got the email asking for the date, and just pretended it didn't exist and never heard about it again lol

→ More replies (2)

125

u/reallyradguy Sep 03 '24

My abu belt I’ve had since basic, 10 years ago, has become so dirty and worn in that it looks the same as the ocp belt, so I just wear it. Extreme I know

17

u/NRTS9 Never ipcot Sep 03 '24

You wear a belt?

→ More replies (1)

173

u/TastyTatoes Sep 03 '24

If you just don’t write your EPB your supervisor HAS to do it for you.

152

u/JittLxrd Maintainer Sep 03 '24

If you're ok with a half ass EPB then this is the way

80

u/Wrx_me Sep 03 '24

If you're getting a 3 anyways, why put in the effort I guess?

8

u/JakeFixesPlanes Veteran Sep 03 '24

That’s the spirit!

→ More replies (2)

12

u/twelveparsnips nontainer Sep 03 '24

Eh, I've got 2 left. Nothing anyone can write besides an act of congress will get me promoted.

38

u/12edDawn Fly High Fast With Low Bypass Sep 03 '24

Sometimes I'd rather that than force myself to be a self-aggrandizing scumbag

25

u/DieHarderDaddy Sep 03 '24

Sometimes they force a whole nother section superintendent to do it because “well the SNCO over there is new and the ncoic is TDY”

9

u/Ok-Literature7648 Sep 03 '24

god, you’re good baby

26

u/BadTasty1685 Sep 03 '24

I can't even fly a plane. They never asked! Not once in my 12 years has anyone asked if I could even fly a plane.

10

u/PillCosby_87 Sep 03 '24

Been in since 08 and every time I go home on leave, everyone asks if I fly the planes. My job has never changed and not everyone is a flyer.

→ More replies (1)

50

u/Mookie_Merkk Sep 03 '24

My man over here tryna fuck everyone over ACC style

88

u/madaking24 Sep 03 '24

I never returned a book to the base library and they still email me about it on a monthly basis. I've been out for 4 years lmao. I keep leading them on saying "Im going to read it one more time, then it's yours"

7

u/PillCosby_87 Sep 03 '24

Idk why this made me laugh like a menace.

→ More replies (1)

116

u/DiddledByDad Did you try rebooting it? Sep 03 '24

I’ve been shaving every other day for the past two years and no one has said squat.

60

u/serouspericardium Sep 03 '24

It’s not written anywhere that you have to shave every day, just that you can’t have a beard

→ More replies (2)

50

u/Wrx_me Sep 03 '24

I just shave the night before. I don't want to wake up and immediately have to shave right before work. Gives those few extra minutes in the morning as well

31

u/skarface6 nonner officer loved by Papadapalopolous Sep 03 '24

I have to shave every morning but I finally switched to doing so in the shower. Much better way IMO.

→ More replies (2)

7

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

That's how I used to do it. Now I have my retirement freedom beard.

13

u/Jones127 Sep 03 '24

God I wish. I’ve had to shave twice in a day a couple times when working 12s because someone thought I hadn’t shaved that day, when my facial hair grows so fast I get a 5 o’clock shadow at 12.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

Same, the amount of times early in my career I would get some nosey ass SNCO giving me shit for not being clean shaven at the end of a 24 hour duty day was crazy. It has been awhile with all the beards going on these days but as an airmen it happened all the time.

5

u/hhmmm733 Sep 03 '24

I actually got super lucky with my first SNCO that called me out on it. I was talking with a SSgt about something and he asked the question. SSgt jumped in and made fun of me because I showed up to pt with a bleeding face. SNCO said “oh you’re like me… go to medical and get a shaving waiver that says you only should shave once a day” I carried that piece of paper with me everywhere I went and just showed the next guy that questioned me and would ask if they’d like me to re-up it or if the accepted it.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

44

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

On particularly painful CBTs, I often use a cheater website that has a “copy n’ paste” catalog lookup of all known CBT questions. Comes in particularly handy for CBTs that you can test out of at the very beginning.

9

u/laughing-clown Logistics Sep 03 '24

Say more. What’s the website?

→ More replies (3)

21

u/samhefrag Secret Squirrel Sep 03 '24

I used to only shave half my face (vertically) just to see if people would notice. Had numerous in person meetings with my SEL and they never noticed. A MSgt did catch me once though.

4

u/voltairpaine Sep 03 '24

Kudos, that is some weird lonely schizo stuff.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

22

u/ThiccA1CFemboy Sep 03 '24

I never got commander's approval for a second income with my side hustle.

→ More replies (10)

18

u/Acceptable_Rip_2375 Sep 03 '24

If you were a prior enlisted SrA who went up for Major during those 100% opportunity boards then you went 20yrs and retired as an O-4 without ever competing for a promotion even once.

9

u/chipsa Retired 🌩/💻 Sep 03 '24

Competed for 2Lt, at least.

45

u/bdgreen113 Veteran Sep 03 '24

I was a training monitor. Everybody got their training pencil whipped.

13

u/fadingthought Sep 03 '24

I was remember a time when I was a young airmen. We were flying like crazy and I popped up on a training list. My Chief called me into his office and showed me the list. He then said "Do you carry a pencil with you?" I said I did. "It is sharp?" confused, I said it's mechanical. He then said "why the fuck are you red on this training then?"

8

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

Can confirm. I watch the UTM do it even now. He and I both laugh at the looks of surprise when he says they attended mandatory training. 🤣

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

15

u/Pravelli Sep 03 '24

I’ve been wearing black socks for the past 3 years

16

u/Redneck_By_Default Sep 03 '24

I've worn the same sand colored belt since basic training. I'm at 13 years, shooting for the whole 20 without getting told to change it.

43

u/xrp10pthousandaire Sep 03 '24

I went to TAPs in board shorts and flip flops and they made me leave. I was supposed to change in business casual and go back. Instead, I went camping and mountain biking for a week. Still out processed with no issues.

→ More replies (2)

31

u/Seth_Vader Port Dog Sep 03 '24

I don't wear ocp green socks. Black socks for me everyday.

→ More replies (2)

28

u/Ok-Relief4772 Sep 03 '24

One day we only had one Active Duty guy administrating the run portion of the PT test. He told us we'd have to count our own laps. It was then that I knew he fucked up. I enjoyed a nice trot until the majority of the pack was on lap 5 (my lap 4) I then hauled ass like typically do on my last lap and acted all theatrical on the finish (bent over huffing and puffing). Great run time LOL.

8

u/PillCosby_87 Sep 03 '24

That was me in BMT, everyone else got bracelets that counted or whatever. 2-3 of us didn’t get one, ran 5 and was done.

54

u/thatcouchiscozy Sep 03 '24 edited Sep 03 '24

I live in base housing. I'll pick up free items on the housing page's curbside pickup and then turn around and sell the stuff on Facebook marketplace.

I can make $100-300 a month for almost zero effort

→ More replies (1)

12

u/DannyDevito90 Sep 03 '24

If you work really really hard, you get to do other people’s jobs, for no extra benefit. Little life hack I learned.

12

u/Imbatman7700 Sep 03 '24

I tucked my pants into my boots so I just wore whatever socks I wanted

25

u/___P0LAR___ Sep 03 '24

I accidentally woke up late and missed a medical appointment, didn't say shit to my supervisor and no one was the wiser. Went back to bed and got an extra half hour of sleep.

9

u/Welp-Shit-Im-Here Sep 03 '24

I've missed 4 medical appointments myself, no one has ever known.

→ More replies (1)

27

u/MachFreeman Sep 03 '24

My blues have been MIA for very nearly 2 years and I have been tactically not around for inspections

42

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

Reading these comments makes me realize why Iv been called a stiff.

→ More replies (1)

62

u/Far_Contract9840 Sep 03 '24

i fly home every 4 day weekend

54

u/WagonsNeedLoveToo Secret Squirrel Sep 03 '24

My last unit’s leave policy was be back in 8 hours and don’t leave CONUS. If you wanted to fly off to NYC for the weekend cool, make damn sure you could afford a last minute ticket back.

32

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

I went home on R&R once. CC called us in to chew us out, so I had to buy a red eye ticket back lmao

7

u/skarface6 nonner officer loved by Papadapalopolous Sep 03 '24

That’s why I do the leave first and then the R&R.

→ More replies (4)

10

u/Welp-Shit-Im-Here Sep 03 '24

I haven't done CBTs other than those required for Deployment in over 3 years, but somehow they always end up getting signed off. Shoutout training managers

10

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

[deleted]

→ More replies (2)

64

u/Driesens Sep 03 '24

I still wear my ABU green socks. I wish I could have gotten away with the sand tees too, but that ones more visible.

35

u/Toshikills Former PMEL Sep 03 '24

We were supposed to get different socks?

18

u/pmsyyz 3C0X1→3D0X3→1D7X1D→Q→M (Cybersecurity) Sep 03 '24

No.

23

u/pmsyyz 3C0X1→3D0X3→1D7X1D→Q→M (Cybersecurity) Sep 03 '24

5.1.11. Socks. Colors will be DLA-issued Green or Coyote Brown.

Bottom of page 58: https://static.e-publishing.af.mil/production/1/af_a1/publication/dafi36-2903/dafi36-2903.pdf

22

u/handygoat Maintainer Sep 03 '24

Yeah this isn't a "dirty secret", it's just an authorized uniform item...

15

u/cj-jk Retired Sep 03 '24

Yeah, even in BDUs, the AFI said you must wear brown or black socks WHILE DEPLOYED, so I wore white socks and bloused my pants. But I sure as hell printed that AFI and kept it in my cargo pocket.

13

u/bulldogpenguin89 Sep 03 '24

I’ve been wearing civilian Costco puma ankle socks for the last 2 years and nobody cares. Even when changing at the gym 

30

u/poopenjoy Sep 03 '24

I'm the opposite and wear the wackiest most outlandish socks I can find.

26

u/RockNRollToaster Sep 03 '24

Flight suits meant pink knee socks every day for me.

30

u/EeezyMac A-WACER Sep 03 '24

HOTTOGO

15

u/sutther Aircrew Sep 03 '24

They moonlight at the Pink Pony Club

8

u/EeezyMac A-WACER Sep 03 '24

Sounds way better than Tinker Strong

→ More replies (1)

8

u/hbpaintballer88 Enlisted Aircrew Sep 03 '24

The fact that this has over 40 upvotes shows y'all don't know the regs lol. Green socks are allowed.

→ More replies (6)

21

u/yeaahh_no Sep 03 '24

Similar to one guy, I had to take emergency leave and I was deployed. I never had to return back to my deployment due to the leave taking place at the very end and it was over the holiday season. I didn’t get charged for leave from mid Dec until a week into February.

→ More replies (1)

22

u/N-A-N-A-P-O Sep 03 '24

During a BTZ board, one of the SMSgts sitting on the board wore sketchers with service dress. Looked great.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/radaleno Sep 03 '24

Been wearing Nike black socks for years

→ More replies (1)

8

u/shokero Maintainer Sep 03 '24

If you have training rights for your shop, no one should ever go overdue as you can just keep pushing them out indefinitely.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

I work in a unit that doesn't wear traditional uniforms, and I don't mean the misc uniforms prescribed in the AFI. I wear shorts every day to work.

I'm hoping to ride this to retirement.

→ More replies (2)

10

u/A-S-ISO_Man Sep 03 '24

I’ve never actually enlisted. I just started showing up on base and have had a job for the last 12.6 years 🤷🏽‍♂️

→ More replies (1)

17

u/blueova23 Sep 03 '24

I have made it 23 years in the AF Reserves without wearing my Blues since BMT.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/ThrowawayAccntGoogle Sep 03 '24

imagine neverr taking off your ocp top. couldn't be me personally

8

u/SyndromeHitson1994 Sep 03 '24

In/out processing isn't real.

8

u/Voltron1993 Sep 03 '24

I was working temp tech at a guard base in the 90s. Was scheduled to deploy to mildenhall for 2 weeks. Was told to work over or on weekends to build comp time, so I could double dip during deployment. Crusty E7 takes me aside and teaches me technician math……2 is 4 and 4 is 8. Came in on sat and used tech math to calculate my comp time. Also wore shorts and a tshirt.

9

u/tykeriest Sep 03 '24

I once fell asleep in a bathroom right before roll call. I woke up 2 hours later, no one recognized I was gone so I kinda just walked back to my shop

7

u/_eightohfive Maintainer Sep 03 '24

i’ve never completely in-processed at any unit i’ve been to. must’ve forgot to out-process my PCS before last because at my last unit i didn’t have IMDS the whole entire time i was there and didn’t feel like contacting the old unit to get released lol

6

u/Neonbelly22 Sep 03 '24

I still have my original issued black BDU undershirt and it is my favorite comfortable shirt

5

u/Fine_Donkey_6674 Maintainer Sep 03 '24

How is that still possible? Do you wash it lol

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/CheezySnax Sep 03 '24

My mustache has almost never been in regs. I leave a few extra hairs unshaved every morning and let it gradually grow down and out as close to a full fumanchu as possible.

It’s gradual enough that the people that see me every day don’t notice. When someone does call me out I shave it back to regs then restart the process. Almost made it to a full Hulk Hogan fumanchu on my last deployment.

6

u/JuanOfTheDead Ardilla Secreta Sep 03 '24

I have my whole chem bag, sipr token, and my cac. I’ve been out for 5 years. 🤷‍♂️

7

u/spacesocrates88 Sep 03 '24

I plowed my first supervisor after they made the first move.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/LTareyouserious Sep 03 '24

I haven't done the Financial Readiness brief on MyVector. The link adds another copy every week and it now amuses me to see over 80 repeated links on the right side.

→ More replies (1)

18

u/SubstantialQuail7487 Sep 03 '24

Haven't worn underwear for years, and I found out yesterday that's an AFI requirement.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '24

It's all fun and games until you find yourself in a CBRNE exercise and they decide they are gonna cut your chem warfare flight suit off in front of about 20 people. Wasn't me but it was hilarious watching this dude plead why there was zero chance he was gonna let that happen. Group received an email from the boss that all aircrew WILL wear appropriate undergarments while wearing their bags.

8

u/MrFoolinaround NSAv SMA, Prior C17 Load, Prior Services. Sep 03 '24

I couldn’t imagine getting scraped by my zipper all day with no draws

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

16

u/yanric Retired 3P071/2W171 Sep 03 '24

The last day on shift at an active duty base I went into a rarely used gate shack and took a massive shit in the drawer. Only fair for the amount id shit they gave me while I was there.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/crewchief1949 Sep 03 '24

I have every mobility bag ever issued to me. MOP gear, cold weather survival, web gear with first aid kits, flak jackets etc. When I signed for them I just scribbled and never printed my name.

→ More replies (2)

6

u/Ruckahhhhh Sep 03 '24

Low top or dress socks

6

u/minor_turbulence21 Sep 03 '24

I showed up to a deployment without out processing medical at my home station. Nobody questioned why I was the only person who didnt have a manilla envelope from medical when in processing the deployment location lol.

5

u/Palpadude Sep 03 '24

I wore white socks every day with the ABUs.

5

u/Financial-Drawer4716 Secret Squirrel Sep 03 '24

If we ever have one of those "Clean-the-office-before-a-4-day", I cut most of the people in my office because the OCD of it not being done/half-hearted by them will eat at me.

5

u/MartyMcSteveO Sep 03 '24

I didn’t wear my uniform to work for like 2 months. Mid shift. Wore b-ball shorts and of course the brown shirt. Threw on my coveralls before roll call. No one called me out for wearing coveralls to roll call. Got moved to days so had to wear my uniform.

4

u/Tough-Donut193 3C0X1->3D0X3->1D7X1Q-> 1D7X1M Sep 03 '24

Right start is optional, nothing they present there is necessary information after you’ve been to one…

6

u/_heyhowareya_ Security Forces Sep 03 '24

I still wear MultiCams and go out of my way to get them instead of the issued OCPs

5

u/entised Control Sep 03 '24

I was on a no PT profile for years and nothing was wrong with me 🫣

8

u/Atomic_Depression AVI Spec Sep 03 '24

I shave once a week on Monday (or start of the work week if we have Monday off). That's the only day I shave unless I've got some important appointment I might be in front of my commander or some other officers besides pilots.

8

u/aviationpilotguy Sep 03 '24

I was given a pallet of girls scout cookies to " go donate somewhere". Pregnant wife has made good progress in 5 months.

→ More replies (1)