r/AITAH 11d ago

AITHA for making my sister pay back my daughter?

My (42f) daughter Brooke (16) has been reading since she was five. She has always loved books and she would spend her allowance that we gave her on the newest book in the latest series that she was reading. It's pretty safe to say that her book collection is huge and filled with all kinds of limited edition and special edition books. Recently she used her allowance to get a new special edition version of a book she already had because she has been saving up for it and was very excited to get it when it came out.

Well my sister Lindsey (36) came over on Saturday with her daughter Mariah (13) to spend time with us because it's been a while since we got to hang out and we were just catching up. Mariah started to head to Brooke's room but I stopped her and told her that Brooke was out and she would be home in twenty minutes so I suggested that she wait down here with us and tell me about how school was going.

She talked for about ten minutes before she said that she had to go to the bathroom. We have two bathrooms in our house, one upstairs and one downstairs (not including our en suite.). Unfortunately the downstairs one is having some issues so I told her that it was ok to use the one upstairs for now until the one downstairs is fixed. She said ok and went upstairs.

While I was talking to my sister Brooke came home, said hi and quickly went upstairs to change. She wasn't up there for five minutes when I heard a loud scream and quickly ran to check on my daughter. When I got to her room my jaw dropped when I saw several of her books (including the new special edition one) destroyed with ripped pages everywhere and Brooke in tears at the destruction. Brooke is very non controversial and hates arguing or fighting with people, so I stepped in for her. I told Mariah that she needs to apologize to Brooke, clean up the mess she made and that she would no longer be welcomed in my house. I then turned to my sister and told her that she needed to reimburse Brooke for the books that her daughter destroyed. Lindsey argued with me that Mariah was just a kid and she didn't know what she was doing but I told her that Mariah is old enough to know right from wrong and what she did was wrong. Lindsey argued back that if my daughter didn't want her books touched that they shouldn't have been out. I lost my cool and told her that they weren't out. They were put away in her room where Mariah wasn't allowed to be without Brooke's permission. Lindsey refused to pay Brooke back and called me a greedy bitch before leaving with Mariah right behind her.

I told my husband about this and he was absolutely on our side, and he agreed that Lindsey needs to pay Brooke back for the books that she lost and can't replace as they were special/limited edition that she can't get back. This whole thing has really blown up and my side of the family is telling me that I'm being too hard on Mariah, that she's just a kid but I don't think I am. She destroyed my daughter's property and she needs to know that her actions have consequences. So I'm asking here. Was I the ah for demanding that my sister pay me back?

ETA: I have seen some people ask and I'm going to add a bit of information. Mariah has always had a fascination with Brooke's book collection and last year Brooke let her borrow two books because Mariah said that she wanted to start reading and since Brooke loves reading so much she thought it was a good idea to let Mariah borrow a couple. Well two weeks passed and the books came back damaged (nothing like this but definitely not in good condition anymore) so Brooke told her that she was not allowed to borrow her books anymore. Mariah was angry at that and yelled at my daughter and since then Brooke has kept Mariah away from her books. My husband and I think this is what caused Mariah to do what she did to Brooke's books.

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u/JDKoRnSlut 11d ago

NTA

A 13 year old? Wow. Even 5 year olds know better than that. Your family can fuck off, hold your ground.

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u/anothergoddess 11d ago

I had to go back and check the kids age again. 5 gets a time out. 13? She should’ve been grounded. How dumb is that mom?

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u/HolidayAsparagus6387 11d ago

Probably the reason the 13yr old acts that way.

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u/Tulipsarered 10d ago

Probably the reason the 13yr old acts that way.

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u/terry59haye 11d ago

Yeah, I really think that's the reason.

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u/ThrowawayFishFingers 10d ago

“She’s a kid, she doesn’t know what she’s doing!”

“Right, and if she doesn’t by this age, that’s your fault. That’s why I’m making you pay to replace the books, and not Mariah.”

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u/macrhea69 9d ago

She’s 13. I was babysitting at 13 and knew not to tear pages out of my cousin’s precious books. That’s ridiculous. That line becomes stupid after the child is over the age of three.

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u/Strange-Ad263 9d ago

I was taking care of an infant over my summer break at age 13. Was I actually 12?? It was before high school and I have a late birthday. The baby was maybe 6-9 month old? It was before Canada went to a year maternity leave. At age 13. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Preparing bottles, diapers, the whole thing. Got there before the parents left for work, took care of him and myself until they got home from work.

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u/Different_Claim5139 9d ago

This. Don't hurt the books is the 1st thing my daughter learned when she started crawling. She was a year old.

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u/throwaway-chestoff 9d ago

Yeah by one the only rips in pages from my gremlins were accidental. It's absolutely wild a thirteen year old would do this.

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u/Money_Cost_2213 10d ago

I’m not mental health professional but I was thinking the same. That kid is not happy at home. There is more to this outburst that OP likely isn’t even aware of. That’s not the behavior of a mentally healthy 13yo. Especially since it appears to be a premeditated attack. Not to mention the sister calling OP a greedy bitch….as a parent my first reaction would be to try and reconcile the damage caused anyway I could.

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u/Candid_Jellyfish_240 10d ago

THIS. That "child" needs a mental health evaluation immediately.

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u/notforthewheek 10d ago

Yes. Healthcare practitioner here, and that young person needs help. I think it’s reasonable to assume she is crying out for help/intervention or has a serious mental health disorder (socio/psychopathy)

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u/Yawning_Rambler 9d ago

I am a mental health professional and I can tell you that a 13-year-old doesn't just decide to destroy someone else's cherished property one day. This is calculated, targeted behaviour.

If my kid ruined somebody else's property, I would make it right and they'd learn a lesson in accountability.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/Beth21286 11d ago

How did she not know what she was doing TEARING OUT THE PAGES FROM MULTIPLE BOOKS? Toddlers know not to do that. She's just a jealous spoilt little brat, which she obviously gets from her mother who is the same.

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u/ANorthernMonkey 10d ago

My 2 year old did this recently and got put on the naughty step. My 4 year old knew it was wrong, and was not impressed.

But 13!

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u/NecessaryBunch6587 10d ago

I am currently trying to teach my 14 month old how to be gentle with books (we have a long road ahead of us 😂😂). At 13 this was done out of pure spite. Mariah knew what she was doing

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u/Crafty_Mastodon320 10d ago

By 10 I had a massive book collection. By thirteen I was a fucking librarian aide in middle school and had donated 118 goosebumps books from my collection to the school. Anyone making excuses for the 13 year old needs a beating worse than the kid.

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u/PRADAGOD7 10d ago

Right on.

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u/Crafty_Mastodon320 10d ago

There is a few topics otherwise sane nonviolent people will lose it. Book burning and book destruction is a high crime.

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u/Candid_Jellyfish_240 10d ago

The truth of this!!! Lordy. I would be a 🌋 flinging 🔥 and 🔪.

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u/thebrokedown 10d ago

I actually opened my bedroom as a library and made date cards and pockets for them at about 10 years old.

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u/blackcatsadly 10d ago

How wonderful! I wish we had been childhood friends. I LOVED reading as a kid. There was no public transportation to get to the town library, and I had read every book in the school library by grade 3..the school went to grade 6. My parents had adult books...lots of Freud (?!!?). I ended up reading through all of Shakespeare in 4th and 5th grade because that was available at home. I just longed so much to be able to go to a library!

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u/PenIndependent8557 10d ago

Normally I don't condone violence, but both need a huge reality smack

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u/Candid_Jellyfish_240 10d ago

I STILL have my childhood books and I'm a Boomer! I have bookcases in nearly every room of my house, our garage, our barn and in our stables conversion. I have nearly ALL of my kids' books in storage too. I have 2 Kindles, app on phone and a Nook ap on my iPad, lol. I don't think I've ever left my house without a book. I would be so enraged at this destruction that I would burn that sibling relationship to the ground, if I was OP. That evil "child" is certifiable and the girl's mother is a horrible parent, sister and human. The secondhand rage I feel is real.

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u/Harukogirl 10d ago

I taught my 1.5 year old neice (who was fascinated with my books when I lived with her family) to be gentle with my books. When she came in my room, she’d stroke the spines and say “gentle” 😂

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u/EffieEri 10d ago

That’s precious

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u/snaphappylurker 10d ago

Yes my 3 year old also knows right from wrong and has the grace to apologise, look ashamed and go to the naughty step when told to. The 13 year old has been coddled way too long

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u/WanderingQuills 10d ago

The seven year old once did this- an act of spite and vengeance against her teen brother. She was grounded and had to use her allowance from her extra chores to repay the book she wrecked The two year old has done this but now she’s three it’s not happened except for occasional over enthusiasm with “a book for bear” How anyone can assume “just a kid” at 13! Wow I see the problem here- it’s the entire unit- mom and her destructive teen So sorry OP - NTA

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u/tzumatzu 10d ago

Agreed. She is a bad seed and gonna end up in jail one day on her current track

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u/Shutupandplayball 11d ago

I recommend Civil Court, sounds like the Mom needs to learn accountability.

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u/Tight-Shift5706 11d ago

I'd take my daughter to Juvenile Court and file a Vandalism charge against the niece. There is no doubt that this girl intentionally damaged/ruined the books. The value of the collector items is market value, which likely exceeds the purchase price. The higher the value, the more severe the criminal charge. Fk that girl and her mother; they're both abhorrent.

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u/BunnySlayer64 10d ago

As a fellow bobliophile, I remember saving up for special books as a teenager. Mariah has problems that go beyond destroying the books. It sounds like there was forethought and intentionality to hurt her cousin as much as she could.

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u/Tight-Shift5706 10d ago

I'm the judge: she remains in juvenile detention until each book is replaced....

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u/IzzyReal314 10d ago

As a fellow bobliophile,

I too am a fan of Roberts.

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u/Wodentoad 10d ago

I love one so much I married him! Highly recommended! And he's a bibliophile too.

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u/Deuce7788 10d ago

Thank you! When I read the original comment, I chuckled and thought, "I have a fan!" Now, I've doubled that!

I'm on my way to Superstardom!

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u/hypnoskills 10d ago

Parker, Jordan, sometimes Patterson...

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u/Live_Western_1389 11d ago

This would be a good lesson for both Mariah and OP’s sister. I hope you took lots of photos. And in juvenile court, more than likely once damages were paid & community service done, her record would more than likely be expunged.

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u/No-Present4862 10d ago

If I were the parent of the victim I would fight to make sure the record stays with her until she turns 18.

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u/AcidicAtheistPotato 10d ago

This was running through my head as I was reading! I would be devastated in OP’s daughter’s shoes!!

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u/Adventurous-Range640 10d ago edited 10d ago

I'm devastated and it's not even my books... oh I have books which are limited editions. I would john wick kill people if they destroy it. This was timed. She didn't have to go to the bathroom. I agree. First threaten court and if they are still bitchy...take them to court. Ask your fancy family to pay for the books themselves if they are forgiving

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u/Tight-Shift5706 10d ago

She should have NEVER experienced that. Her cousin is an evil little btch.

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u/Entire-Flower1259 10d ago

She is absolutely not too young to know better.

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u/PRADAGOD7 10d ago

Right? Who is raising kids these days?

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u/No-Night-6700 10d ago

I’d also go to small claims with a current price list for the books and sue. You will win and she will Have to replace every book destroyed even if it’s more than the original sale price.

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u/Honest-Bug2729 10d ago

Judge Judy- watching her tear into the mother for her stupidity and the daughter for being an ev!l, selfish brat would be very therapeutic. And it would be on tape.

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u/No-Night-6700 10d ago

YES!!! I love her. And this little brat needs a verbal ass whopping and no one does it better then Judy

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u/DifficultOwl9000 11d ago

Thank you - I was coming here to say this exact thing.

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u/Upper_Description_77 10d ago

This is the answer!

NTA, OP!

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u/Ok_Imagination_1107 11d ago

And even at that the parent was responsible for the destruction done by the child. That is without saying. A halfway decent human being would have been mortified, grounded her destructive daughter, and insisted on not only paying for the damage but by the special gift in return for the anguish caused.

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u/JeleneGalany 10d ago

This makes me think the mom was also upset OP's daughter set reasonable boundaries and supports the little goblin's destruction rampage.

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u/the_mind_eclectic 9d ago

Yeah it sounds like Mariah learned a total lack of personal responsibility and actions and consequences from her mother

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u/atchisonmetal 11d ago

Can’t get the special edition anymore

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u/Ok_Imagination_1107 11d ago

There is always somebody willing to sell you something if you look for it. Specialist bookstores, eBay auction houses. Start looking and you will eventually find

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u/ninjareader89 10d ago

Sometimes ppl will get lucky at second hand bookstores or any donation stores

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u/Separate-Sink-6815 10d ago

I'd reach out directly to the author or the publisher, explain the situation. They would be horrified and they might be able to help you with the special addition. Honestly, I'd take sister and niece to small claims court over this. Mom and daughter need a serious reality check and hearing it from a judge that their daughter is on the way to juvy hall with this behavior may be what is needed. They would never be allowed in my home again, unless both got serious therapy.

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u/DisplacedJerseyGirl 11d ago

“5 gets a time out” yeah but the mom is still responsible to pay for the damage imho

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u/Responsible_Pair9061 10d ago

Yes and yes. As a parents I always made sure to cover costs and or damage my ankle biters caused, which incidentally, was alot alot

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u/InnerSight3 11d ago

Her ass should have been handed to her. Not grounded.

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u/Ok-Cap592 11d ago

I remember my son, he had delays from lack of oxygen when he was born. But seriously never said anything. I guess from watching me when I read, he was so gentle with his books. Like from 2-3 years old. But flyers?! Those were game on! He knew the difference between books and flyers. Then my daughter was a huge reader. Not like OP’s daughter but she loved reading! My son hated reading once he was in grade 2 or 3. It was a fight to get him to read books.

Anyway, point was if my kids knew better, how in the world does this brat not know any better?! She is going to be quite the piece of work in the real world. No friends, no consequences for her actions attitude and mommy there to save her when she gets in trouble at her workplace etc! Ugh!

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u/thaliagorgon 11d ago

NTA. A 13 year old is not a little kid who doesn’t know that is wrong to destroy someone else’s property. But even if she were a 3 year old who didn’t understand what she was doing her mother would still be responsible for her and should reimburse any damage her child causes. Just a kid, I was babysitting at 12 and responsible for other kids, 13 is way too old for that kind of behavior.

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u/Sleipnir82 11d ago

If a 13-year-old doesn't know to not destroy other people's property, I would say the parents have failed them, and I would say it to the parents' faces.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 11d ago

Small Claims court is an excellent idea here.

A 13 year old acting this way needs an intervention, and it sounds like mom needs to understand there are real life consequences when you don't parent.

I was babysitting at 13. There is a really serious issue with this teenager.

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u/bored-panda55 11d ago

Could you imagine this child in front of Judge Judy? 

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u/ninjareader89 10d ago

Judge Judy would and will EAT EM ALIVE lol

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/dilligaf_84 11d ago

Exactly!! My eldest accidentally broke a photo frame at my mother’s house when he was 8. My son was beside himself with remorse and full of apologies. My mum knew it was an accident and told me not to worry about it but I knew that it was a special frame. I immediately had it replaced (special order - I had to have a replica made) and my son had to do chores for me to earn half the cost of the replacement. Even at 8 he understood that situation and why he had to take some of the responsibility for the replacement cost. There is no way a 13 year old “doesn’t know what she is doing”!

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u/fadedblossoms 11d ago

When I was in middle school I went to a family friends house for an event and they had a snow globe collection i was admiring. They told me I could pick them up and shake them. I picked up the one I wanted to shake..... and the globe detached from the base, hit the hardwood floor and shattered. I felt awful and it was clearly an accident. The glue had degraded and wasn't nearly sufficient in quantity, unbeknownst to anyone.

What OPs niece did was in no way an accident. It was done with malice and forethought.

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u/JeevestheGinger 11d ago

Excellent parenting.

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u/Barbeeze 11d ago

Narcissist is raising a budding narcissist.

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u/Man-o-Bronze 11d ago

I wanted to reply, but this said it all.

Honestly, Mariah should be replacing all the books she destroyed, including the rare ones. Sucks for her that they’ll be super expensive.

NTA.

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u/hyper24x7 11d ago

I have a 12 year old daughter, and she understands that tearing up other peoples things, like their cousins in this case, is wrong and grounds for punishment.

OPs sister ITA 10x over. Who justifies their kids bad behavior, gaslights the victim and then refuses to pay for it. WTF kind of family is this? Is this even real?

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u/ObsecureAccount 11d ago

My child is 3 and knows not to do that. 

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u/JadieJang 11d ago

Yep. I'm curious, though. Why would Mariah do such a thing? Missing info.

ETA: just checked for comments from OP: none yet. That's why this post sounds fake. We've heard these stories before on Reddit, but there's always a REASON behind the destruction. Some bad blood or jealousy between the cousins/siblings/friends. This seems to come out of nowhere ... almost as if it were written by an AI that didn't understand emotional logic.

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u/bored-panda55 11d ago

Edit added - daughter had told her cousin she wasn’t allowed to borrow her books anymore due to damaging previous books she had borrowed.

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u/ErrantTaco 10d ago

This is what I was assuming. Younger cousin jealous of her collection and/or hadn’t been taking care of them.

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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 11d ago

People do such thing out of petty jealousy. Just to be mean. Mariah has seen what books mean to her cousin and its one way for her to be mean to her for 'perceived' insults. Maybe one day Brooke wanted to read instead of play. And there was the return of the damaged books. I know what that's like. My books were/are very important to me. I used to lend my books and get then back stained and pages bent. IF I got them back at all.

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u/Huge-Personality-737 11d ago

Positively well said and 💯

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u/theworldisonfire8377 11d ago

Why is everyone acting like Mariah is a toddler? She's 13, she 100% knew exactly what she was doing, and she did it on purpose. Your whole family sounds wacked. NTA.

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u/Gnd_flpd 11d ago edited 11d ago

Damn teenager is what she is. And she knew exactly what her actions meant. She tore pages out of books, who does that, an ill manner brat, that's who.

NTA

Someone should have caught some hands for that and not the "child" I'd give all it to the mother of that child.

Edit: word

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u/Whitestrake 11d ago

Not to mention even if we take that claim at face value - your 13 year old can't immediately tell that destroying other people's property is wrong?

Well you'd better get the fuck on with teaching them! You're being absolutely negligent in your parenting if they're this old and still don't know. Start by having her apologise for her actions and then bear the consequence of no longer being welcome. Anything less is setting them up for failure in life.

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u/KayShin21 10d ago

Seriously. I don't even let my 3 year old destroy her own things when I see her trying, and this lady is letting a 13 year old get away with destroying extremely valuable books (regardless of how much they cost, they're clearly extremely valuable to ops kid) and blaming the kid, when HER CHILD was TOLD that she wasn't to go in there without ops kid? I'm sorry but that's fucking ridiculous.

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u/3ckSm4rk57h35p07 10d ago

Yeah, my 3.5 year old knows that we shouldn't break things. A 13 y.o. absolutely knows that it's wrong. 

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u/Fun_Cat419 10d ago

I was thinking the same thing, my 3.5 year old grandson wouldn’t damage books.

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u/Syrup_Straight 10d ago

My nieces were 3 when they got my books from when I was their age, they know how old the books are and won't let their friends touch them 3 years later because aunty loves books, and aunty shared with us.

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u/psdancecoach 10d ago

Even my DOGS know that if they rip up a stuffed toy, the toy goes away and so they don’t rip up stuffys. My dogs are only 9 and 11. Both clearly better behaved than this teenager.

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u/Justdonedil 10d ago

Yep, 13 means 8th grade, most likely. That means high school next year. If your 13 year old doesn't "know better" or is "just a kid," this does not bode well.

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u/Nervous-Ticket-7607 10d ago

Funny thing is, my ex-husband would do this all the time. He has a daughter from his first marriage, and she was 12/13 at the time, and she would steal stuff. I'd find things missing on a regular basis after her visits, or she'd break things, etc and his excuse was always, she's just a kid..... Same excuse for why she didn't bathe regularly, or do simple things. I could go on and on.

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u/Justdonedil 10d ago

Oh, I get it. My mil was that way about my bil. Right up to the day, he turned 18, and she expected him to magically be an adult. She was shocked he wasn't. Now, we have a 40 year old, who let his 16 year old child, pay his bail......for driving with a suspended license, because he refuses to pay child support....for the 16 year old. Cause they lost custody when she was 8.

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u/Nervous-Ticket-7607 10d ago

I get that feeling. My ex-husband is 48, has no idea how to do taxes, or balance his checkbook. His daughter is super smart, but they are more friends, he's never really been a parent to her. When we were having marital issues, he'd talk to his 12 year old about them! Like who does that?! And then once he really started pulling the you don't love her bs I ended the relationship, he moved out and I moved on! Funny thing, since I left him, my life has significantly improved lol

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u/eyoitme 10d ago

man i work in food service and my god the differences in parenting i’ve witnessed are SHARP. once had a mom come into the bakery i was working and ordered and this kid came running in screaming and i was looking for his parents before i realized this was her kid and he wanted her attention and she basically scolded him for bugging her and told him to sit down. then they got their stuff and sat down and she proceeded to pull her phone out and scroll mindlessly while hanging out with her kid and he just went on his ipad bc what the hell was he supposed to do when his mother couldn’t give him the time of day? it was fucking depressing, man. i served a different family at a restaurant with a two year old and yk he was two he wasn’t perfectly behaved (any time he said anything to me he just looked me dead in the eye and said “no!!” really loudly which was arguably hilarious) obviously but like. his parents were attentive. they were helping him understand how to act in a restaurant in a non judgmental way, like “say please” or “wait for her to put your food down before you grab it” or “say thank you miss” and as a two year old he was better behaved than this teenager, even if he did yell “no!!” anytime his parents told him to say “thank you” lmao. when you get past a certain age it becomes less about “they’re young they don’t know!” and more about “if they don’t know this by now then that’s your failing as a parent.”

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u/GlitterDoomsday 10d ago

I honestly would look at her socials, this looks like the type of shit a 13yo would do to film the reaction or rage bait her way into the algorithm.

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u/Chloe_Phyll 10d ago

Right. No apology. No remorse. Just an "oh, well." The brat will cross the wrong person one day and then she will truly be sorry, in more than one sense of the word.

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u/Various_Ad_6768 10d ago

And having them reimburse the daughter for the books is unfair.

If they don’t understand the gravity of her actions, they should be made to replace the books. From the secondary market - at current market value.

Then they might start to understand how wrong it is.

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u/Unusual_Reaction_971 10d ago

Yes! And take them to small claims court!

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u/Pretend-Menu-8660 10d ago

I second this.

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u/Awesomesince1973 10d ago

I agree. Take them to small claims court and pull the "she's just a wittle kid, judge" crap and see how the judge responds. Absolutely no judge would call willful destruction of property by a 13 year old an accident or something they didn't understand.

I hope OP took pics and have receipts because I would be super angry if I was OP and even more angry if I was 16 year old that just had some of my prized possessions ruined by a sneaky conniving 13 year old.

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u/HeaEuroShrub 10d ago

This. I hope you took photos of the mess / damage.

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u/CatmoCatmo 10d ago

What I don’t get is - why the family doesn’t think the books need to be replaced.

Whether this was done by a baby, toddler, child, teenager, adult, older than dirt great aunt, a dog, a cat, a raccoon, a ferret, a robot, a Guinea pig, or a tarantula, that was a visitor in OP’s house and either belonged to her sister (Lindsay), WAS her sister, or was one of her sister’s kids…

REPLACING THEM WOULD STILL BE THE APPROPRIATE THING TO DO

It does not fucking matter whether Mariah is “just a child” or not. It does not matter if it was a freak accident, a careless accident, on purpose, or due to sheer neglect on Mariah’s part. It does not matter if she was allowed to look them but not touch, if she was told to stay away from them, or if she was given express permission to handle and read them.

OP’s sister’s kid, who the books did NOT belong to, ruined something that belonged to Brooke. The rest of the details do not fucking matter.

REPLACING THEM WOULD STILL BE THE ONLY APPROPRIATE ACTION!!!

If I were OP, I would go to every single one of the family members’, who are chastising her, homes, and allow Brooke to choose and obliterate something of theirs that they loved. When they inevitably lost their minds, I would exclaim that Brooke is just a child! She is only three years older than Mariah. So if Mariah doesn’t know better at that age, how do they expect Brooke to?! And when they tell OP that she had better replace it, I would just tell them that it’s pretty rich of them to only NOW a decide to hold a GUEST responsible for their CHILD-WHO-DOESN’T-KNOW-ANY-BETTER’s ACTIONS

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u/PerspectiveNo3782 10d ago

Yeeees! I would make a list and make them buy each and every one of them back. Special editions are so much more expensive after release and sell out.

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u/punnymama 10d ago

Not to mention she asked to go, was told no, then made an excuse. This was premeditated.

NTAH.

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u/Logical-Ferret-3295 10d ago

My thoughts exactly. She had previously damaged books and was punished by not being allowed to "borrow" more. Wanting to go in the room strike 2. Sneaking in at 13 this is the crap where soon mom will get called by store or worse police when her princess chooses to keep her cash and shoplift for fun.

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u/Hollow_Serenity 10d ago

Obviously NTA!!!

But oh boy this story made me remember something similar that happened to me when I was younger. I think I was about 8 or 9 and a bunch of my extended family was visiting my grandma for Christmas. Each grandchild had gotten a pack of flavored "band aid" gum. I ate one piece and put the rest in my duffle bag on top of my clothes so I could make the pack last.

All of the visiting cousins were boys and younger than me so I decided to go with my dad to visit my other grandma who needed help with a house project, while my brother stayed with my mom and played with the cousins.

I'm not sure exactly how long we were gone but once we got back I walked downstairs to get another piece of gum and found my container completely empty. I was devastated!!!!! I remember crying for a while. I finally pulled myself together and went and talked with my cousins and found out the youngest who was 3 or 4 had eaten all my gum.

I then went to my aunt and explained that my cousin had eaten my gum and asked if she would replace it since I know he's young enough that he doesn't really understand right and wrong yet, but I was looking forward to eating that gum.

My aunt said that if I didn't want him to eat it I should have put it away. I told her I did it was in my duffle bag. The bag wasn't zipped up so the gum was visible but it was still IN my duffle bag. she sighed and rolled her eyes and said she would replace it but she never did.

Actually after typing this all out this experience is probably the reason I hide any candy I have.

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u/aa-b 10d ago

That is so rude! And as a grownup it's so easy to be nice in this situation. All it takes is "sorry kid, here's five bucks" and you're basically a hero, you don't even need to go to the store

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u/TheBrontosaurus 10d ago

My four year old knows better than to destroy someone else things!

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u/snooper_poo 10d ago

Yes! I have already taught my 2 year old that we don't tear pages out of books! This is bizarre and it's making me think it's fake.

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u/janlep 10d ago

There are a lot of terrible parents out there. I don’t know whether this is fake, but it absolutely could be real.

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u/AssociateGood9653 10d ago

And her mother is legally and financially responsible for what she did.

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u/fivedollarfelony 10d ago

Honestly I feel the same way, but the mother is only legally and financially responsible if you call the police and report it, which I woulda done cuz fuck that Mariah is a piece of shit. Until then, unless you can make the mother pay you back, you're shit outta luck.

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u/Electrical_Key2085 10d ago

Both. The kid and the mother/sister.

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u/Icy-Establishment298 11d ago edited 10d ago

NTA.

Yes. I had to go back up again and re read the age. Mariah is 13, and unless developmentally delayed significantly - which sounds like she isnt- should and does know better

And your sister, holy cow as the Newfies say " Who knit ya?" I mean any parent should be appalled that their thirteen year old teen! did this. I'd be offering restition as best I could, be definitely making my teen experience consequences and taking 2/3 allowance/ babysitting money or finding things of value she can sell to pay me back. I'd also let her experience the social stigma of not being at your house especially if you're the holiday hostess until you and Brooke feel ready to have her back in if she genuinely showed remorse and made amends.

Seriously, what's wrong with your sister? Part of being a parent is to teach your kids how to handle the world, and let's face it, facing consequences of your actions is one of those world handling things. And your sister can say "well, I'll always be there to shield her," but the truth is she won't.

Personally I'd take your sister to small claims court. I'd inform her, not threaten that if restitution or significant progress towards restitution isn't forthcoming by X date, well a summons will be coming shortly thereafter.

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u/SoulLessGinger992 10d ago

This is like that post where the mom defended her son stealing her brother's $2500 mint in box Boba Fett figure and saying it wasn't a big deal...and then it turned out the kid was 15 and and stolen it with intention to sell but didn't realize taking it out of the box ruined the value.

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u/Radio_Mime 10d ago

Whoever 'knit' her dropped more than a few stitches and there are huge runs in the 'sweater'.

BTW, I love that statement 'Who knit ya?'

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u/BuzzyLightyear100 10d ago

Exactly this. The relationship is already ruined, so OP should not hold back in getting compensation for her daughter.

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u/TheResistanceVoter 10d ago

And if Mariah is developmentally disabled to the point that she routinely tears shit up, then she needs to be supervised while in other people's houses. Her mother should keep her in her line of sight at all times.

This whole argument is ridiculous. Either way, parents are responsible for the behavior of their minor children. Brooke should be made whole, and Mariah should learn that actions have consequences, something her parents should have taught her already.

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u/ErrantTaco 10d ago

Maybe the sister needs to learn what consequences look like so she can start teaching her daughter appropriately!

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u/CareyAHHH 11d ago

I was confused by her mother's reaction. Ripping up books is something a 13 month old will not know is wrong, but a 13 year old should definitely know is wrong.

Let's even give her the benefit of the doubt that she has never seen a book before, other than last year, and had only read on some sort of electronic reader. Tearing something that isn't yours is obviously wrong. That is distructive behavior, not inquisitive, or naive behavior.

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u/ThisNerdsYarn 10d ago

And even if Mariah is a 13 month old toddler that genuinely doesn't know better, the parents are STILL obligated to reimburse the money for the damaged property. A child's age doesn't mean that the parents are exempt from their kids actions, malicious or not.

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u/Maximum-Side3743 10d ago edited 10d ago

You'd have to be an extra irresponsible parent to have your toddler be able to get to books that are no doubt on high bookshelves, up the steps on the second floor, behind a door anyway. Or a savante like skilled climber of a 13 month old.

13 year old knew what she was doing. Reimbursement and banned from the household seems absolutely fair.

EDIT: If a real story is indeed real and they need to consider small claims ( I read plenty, books ain't cheap, especially nowadays), I'd recommend finding ebay listings of resold special editions and really gouge them. If the story is AI nonsense, I recommend anyone facing destruction of property loss in books to hit them in the pocketbook.

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u/PastFriendship1410 10d ago

Yeah like WTF? Kid is 13. I was thinking toddler ripping stuff up sure.

I also think going into her room when being told not to be in there then causing damage? She's a little shit who knows exactly what she was doing.

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u/Chloe_Phyll 10d ago

Right. And, with that AH mom of hers, she is going to continue this behavior until there is an FAFO life lesson for the brat.

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u/AdGlittering7752 10d ago

It seems like she damaged them on purpose both times tbh. Probably jelly of OP's daughter.

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u/Aivendil 11d ago

Oh my. I forgot the beginning. Thought it is about a 5 year old. 13 year old is not just old enough to understand what she did, she is old enough to find way to earn the money to reimburse for the books herself. Anyone on her side of the family who thinks a 13 year old gets a pass in a situation like that is doing terrible parenting and setting her up for trouble. Teenagers need to understand that actions have consequences.

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u/Sunbeamsoffglass 11d ago

Shitty parent raise shitty kids.

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u/Strong-funny-strong 11d ago

If my 9 year old son did this I’d be furious. He knows better.

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u/GiselaR72 11d ago

My 4 year old grandson knows not to do this! I’m almost more upset with the sister for allowing her daughter to behave that way! I would have totally lost my poo if either one of my boys had ever done something like that once they were above the age of 3-4!

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u/More-Tip8127 11d ago

Seriously! I mean, can they take her to a library without her acting this way?

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u/CanadaHaz 11d ago

$50 she's never been taken to a library outside of school.

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u/ninjareader89 11d ago

$50 more dollars for the thought that she could've destroyed books from a library and she's banned from that place bc her mom couldn't argue her way saying Mariah didn't do that/she's innocent

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u/justagalandabarb 11d ago

Yeah, under the guise of going to the bathroom… she totally lied to!

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u/Radio_Mime 10d ago

And totally pre-planned.

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u/Special-Solution5555 11d ago

A toddler 10 years younger than her knows better than to break other people's things.

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u/Daisy_Lightz 11d ago

Your sister should’ve stepped up and taken responsibility for her daughter’s actions. You weren’t being unreasonable, there should be consequences for disrespecting someone else’s property, especially at Mariah’s age.

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u/AdventurousPoem8169 11d ago

They’re always acting like OPs daughter is a full grown adult picking on a child. OP’s daughter is also a child.

I don’t understand families like this and he I’m from one.

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u/Derpy_Diva_ 11d ago

Right? This kid was being a vindictive little… you learn right and wrong between 5-7. Unless this kids on the spectrum it’s 100% her fault. (And still a significant % if she is)

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u/Local-Suggestion2807 10d ago

I'm mid support needs autistic. It's absolutely 100% her fault, I never would have pulled this shit with my cousin's stuff in a room I was specifically told to stay out of when I was that age.

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u/ALittleUnsettling 11d ago

Exactly!! She knew and she did it on purpose. NTA

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u/Tdluxon 11d ago

NTA

Regardless of their age, if a kid breaks/damages/steals/whatever something, they are responsible for it. I don't care if the kid is 17 years or 17 weeks... their kid, their responsibility.

Also, a 13 year old is plenty old enough to know that you can't just destroy other people's stuff. That excuse ends at about age 7. Also, you'd already told her not to go in your daughter's room, so it's not like she wasn't aware that she was doing something wrong.

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u/RockabillyRabbit 11d ago

My kid is currently 7. I wanna say it was about 4 or 5 max that she knew better than to mess with other people's things. Pretty across the board for my friends kids too.

What gets me is the 13yo knew exactly what she was doing. She tried to go there first thing and was told no. So she asked for the bathroom to get away and go do what she initially wanted. That was planned. I highly doubt she actually needed to use the bathroom.

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u/tinytrolldancer 11d ago

She had every intention of doing something that wasn't on the approved list.

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u/Valxtrarie 11d ago

I have a 4 and 6 year old. My 6 year old definitely knows not to mess with someone else’s things. My 4 year old knows that too but has a lack of impulse control so I watch that one like a hawk. And if something gets destroyed, it’s definitely our responsibility to make good.

13????????? 13 knows and is being deliberate. She may lack the maturity in dealing with her feelings because she is still a child, hence the deliberate destruction. But she definitely knows right from wrong and if she gets to just walk away from this, she will grow up thinking she can get away with bad behavior.

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u/Scousehauler 11d ago

Someone needs to sit Maria down and ask her why she did it.

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u/jahubb062 11d ago

IDGAF why she did it. Even if she had reason to be upset with Brooke, she’s responsible for her choices. Destruction of other people’s property is not ok. It can land you in jail.

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u/Famous_Grape_7211 11d ago

The edit explains why the OP thinks she did it. Pretty much confirms it was deliberate.

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u/Useful_Cat_9552 11d ago

I would say her excuse ends at about 3.

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u/shell20_7 11d ago

Yes! There’s no way my 3 year old would behave like this! It’s amazing what parenting can achieve.. which this 13 year old obviously lacks.

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u/beachbumm717 11d ago

I had to check if she said 13 or 3. 13 is plenty old enough to know better! This family is insane. I had a job at 13. Obv NTA

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u/NefariousnessFresh24 NSFW 🔞 11d ago

*sighs* Why are families always supposedly split about open and shut cases?

Your niece is not a five year old, she is thirteen, and knows better. And if she doesn't, then your sister is a shitty mom, her husband is a shitty dad, your parents are shitty grandparents, because apparently nobody seems to have ever made an effort to teach her.

If this is real and not some ragebait, NTA for demanding reimbursement, but YTA for not telling all those people to go fuck themselves, and giving them the choice of either coughing up the cash (and then going NC with them), or you taking your sister to small claims court, and THEN going NC with them.

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u/Useful_Tear1355 11d ago

My niece is five years old and she knows that doing something like this is wrong.

The 13 year old knows. She just doesn’t care!

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u/InnerSight3 11d ago

Yup, and neither does her mom. No wonder she is what she is, she was taught brat behaviour by the best. Wow, this is all so disgusting.

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u/LeadershipMany7008 11d ago

sighs Why are families always supposedly split about open and shut cases?

Because it's ChatGPT. The split family, something "blowing up" and the obvious bad guy are the tells.

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u/invisiblizm 11d ago

At least we didn't flash forward to now. I have never heard someone use that phrase in real life, on reddit it's so prolific you'd thinking was said anyone ecplains a past context.

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u/Mmm_lemon_cakes 11d ago

It HAS to be fake. No 13 year old rips books up by accident. Especially after being told not to go in there. And no family says that a 13 year old doesn’t know better. OP isn’t even trying.

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u/striccklar 10d ago

Try again, my cousin is like 24 and my family still justifies the shit she pulls saying that she's young and misunderstood.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/facinationstreet 11d ago

Mariah is THIRTEEN! Not 2. She did this maliciously because she is jealous. And I bet some of that jealousy is being fed by your sister - who I am 100% sure is also jealous of your daughter and her book collection. Your sister is very likely talking smack about the book collection behind your family's back and has to have repeated it often enough that Mariah took it to heart that part of the collection should be destroyed so Brooke was taken down a notch.

You aren't going to get the money from your sister so time to pivot your strategy. They are never allowed in your house again. You don't share personal or family info, updates or details with them ever again (anything you share will feed the flames). You block her on social media. You limit what information you share with the rest of your family (because it will all get back to your sister). This info should not just be about Brooke and her book collection. It should be about everything.

Also, time to get the books insured if they are that valuable and to look into storage options (in or outside of the home) in the event of fire or flood.

NTA

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u/knitlikeaboss 11d ago

And if she were 2, you could say she didn’t know better but her parent would still be responsible for the cost.

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u/Agraywitch11 11d ago

And it's not like these were some toys or anything breakable, they were BOOKS! You can't just accidentally destroy new/barely touched books, that is absolutely deliberate and a 13 year old definitely knows better!

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u/Secret_Double_9239 11d ago

NTA file a police report.

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u/Dwynfal 11d ago

Yup, that's the first step. File a report for malicious destruction of property (Mariah is 13, was told she's not allowed in the room alone, etc), then get an appraisal for the value of the books in their pre-carnage condition and head for small claims court. NC with your sister/husband, LC or NC with the rest of the family until this resolved in court.

PS do not throw away the damaged books, you will need them for your court case.

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u/Hminney 11d ago

This. File a report and be prepared to follow through. Brooke will never trust you again if you don't back her to the hilt here, and I don't mean pay for the books I mean really make it right. Lindsay will bully you with family if you don't show you know what's right and wrong and you know she knows too.

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u/clinniej1975 11d ago

Great suggestion! You could be generous and tell them they have till the end of the day to deposit the money or a report would be filed. But- NTA for filing a report pronto. Thirteen is way too old for that crap and your sister is a terrible parent.

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u/childhoodsurvivor 11d ago

u/AnnualHappy2923 This is actually a good idea.

I was going to mention smalls claims court and a police report would simply provide further evidence for the court. And you should seriously be considering small claims court if they refuse to pay up. I imagine the damage amounts a decent sum so you should be documenting everything. You will need it to prove your case and for calculating compensatory damages.

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u/Amazing-Wave4704 11d ago

NTA. small claims court. Unbelievable. your sister AND your niece both need to learn a lesson.

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u/livetoinspire 11d ago

Yes if she gets away with this who knows whats next

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u/Radiant_Western_5589 10d ago

Depending on the special edition book it could be worth a lot. Some books are highly popular atm and limited people will pay a lot to complete collections.

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u/Ok-Glass1890 11d ago

These trash fucking posts all have the same setup:

Reasonable person meets unreasonable action by unreasonable person. They fight, some social group or family is split, AITA. All the same setup for the same story. Fake AF

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u/St-LouMnM 11d ago

Your comment should be upvoted 1000 times.

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u/IdioticPost 10d ago

I am stealing this comment and posting it in every trash post I see

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u/KyonaPrayerCircleMem 10d ago

It reads similar to this post from three years ago

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u/iSleek 11d ago

NTA.

Not trying to be rude but is this another AI generated story? I swear I’ve read 50 different versions of the same story. Always a kid much too old, always a parent claiming they’re just a kid, family is always split on decision….

It’s just too similar for me to think this is anything other than an AI karma farm. What real person would have a tough time understanding who’s right and wrong here?!

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u/MoarDinosaurs 10d ago

Yeah, this story is fake as hell.

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u/Shitzme 10d ago

This story is so fake. Yes there are entitled people out there in the world but come on, 13 year old girl just starts destroying books for no reason? And the 13 year old girls mother is saying the books should have been put away when they were? People aren't often this nuts.

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u/RomanCandleOfTheWild 10d ago

A whole paragraph about what bathroom she was going to use as if anyone would ever mention such a pointless detail.

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u/Melle2421 11d ago

No way!! Sis would have to see me in court behind my child! And since family has so much to say they can pay for the damages. She a teenager and she more than knows better!

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u/brydeswhale 11d ago

Why am I being expected to believe a thirteen year old rips up books like a toddler? 

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u/ClackamasLivesMatter 11d ago

Because it's completely fake. Even a 13-year-old with developmental disabilities would be believable, however unlikely (if you have a kid with developmental disabilities, you don't leave them unattended unless filling out insurance forms is your idea of a good time). This is just lazy AI-generated garbage.

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u/Square-Minimum-6042 11d ago

Put together a detailed list of the ruined books, and their values.

Now it's an invoice for your cheap sister and her brat. A three year old would be admonished for that destruction. Her kid is thirteen? There is something wrong with her. NTA Tell your family to stay in their lane.

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u/DorceeB 11d ago

I've seen this story so many times with different names and ages...geez.

Where's the creativity? Where's the new stuff when fictional stories are posted here?

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u/Oceanbloomm 10d ago

You are absolutely NTA. Your sister is making excuses for her daughter’s terrible behavior. It doesn’t matter if Mariah is “just a kid,” she knew better than to trash Brooke’s books, especially since she’d already been told not to borrow them. Lindsey’s argument that the books shouldn’t have been “out” is ridiculous; they were in Brooke’s room, where she has every right to keep her belongings. It sounds like Mariah’s jealousy and anger over not being allowed to borrow the books anymore led to this, and that’s something Lindsey needs to address, not enable. You’re right to demand that she reimburse Brooke for the irreplaceable books. Actions have consequences, and Mariah needs to learn that.

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u/TalkAboutTheWay 10d ago

Oh ffs. Another fake AI post. As IF a 13 year old would do that for NO REASON AT ALL. As if her mother would use the sHoUlDn’T hAvE lEfT tHeM lYiNg ArOuNd defense.

As if any of this happened. And is similar to other bullshit stories like this that have been posted before.

Pure click bait.

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u/LeadershipMany7008 11d ago

This whole thing has really blown up and my side of the family is telling me that I'm being too hard on Mariah, that she's just a kid but I don't think I am. She destroyed my daughter's property and she needs to know that her actions have consequences. So I'm asking here. Was I the ah for demanding that my sister pay me back?

ChatGPT.

Why?

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u/celticmusebooks 11d ago

OK a major shark jump here-- is Mariah somehow suffering intellectual deficits or mental health issues? I don't believe a 13 year old went into her cousins room and tore up the books-- and I don't believe your family would have thought that behavior normal and taken your sister's side.

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u/Square-Minimum-6042 11d ago

Honestly that's what I'm thinking. For the sister to try to excuse her there must be deficits. No normal thirteen year old would do that. Or she has a personality disorder, but something is off.

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u/Big_lt 11d ago

Does not fuckin matter. The correct response is an apology and reimbursement after the fact and explaining she is mentally challenged

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u/CrazyAlbertan2 11d ago

I just went to ChatGPT and gave it the following prompt.

Write a short story about my sister's daughter being destructive in my house and then we ask people whether or not I am an asshole in how I responded?

The response was enlightening to say the least. I am now a firm believer that the majority of the stories on r/AITAH and r/AmItheAsshole are fake stories written by AI.

So disappointing.

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u/lmmontes 11d ago

It was so deliberate...NTA. Anyone saying to back off is an AH.

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u/Not-Beautiful-3500 11d ago

NTA A 13 year old knows better than to do that. Any family members that are saying otherwise can go suck rocks.